u/Timely_Curve_5459

Hola everyone,

I'm querying an upmarket/book club novel with a strong romantic thread, and I'm trying to figure out where it fits from a romance-reader perspective.

The novel follows Leo, a 25-year-old furniture restorer from Kansas City who moves to Los Angeles looking for love. It's loosely structured around the Twelve Labors of Hercules: each month Leo faces a different "monster" through a new relationship, friendship, or emotional challenge while slowly developing a deep connection with Andrés, the Costa Rican produce vendor at his local farmers market.

The romance between Leo and Andrés is intentionally a very slow burn. Across the book they become increasingly important to one another, but Leo is still emotionally trapped by his ex, Taylor, and keeps repeating unhealthy relationship patterns.

By the end, Leo is faced with three choices:

• return to his toxic ex,
• begin something with Andrés,
• or choose himself and his family.

He chooses the third.

So Book 1 does not end with a HFN or HEA. Leo and Andrés don't become a couple. Instead, the ending leaves the possibility of a future between them, but only after Leo has done the emotional work he needs to do. It's hopeful, but intentionally unresolved.

Several beta readers have loved this ending because it feels earned, but it made me wonder how romance readers—and romance writers—would view it.

My questions are:

• Would you still consider this a romance, or would you shelve it as upmarket fiction with a romantic subplot?
• If you picked this up expecting a slow burn, would the lack of a HFN/HEA in Book 1 feel satisfying or disappointing?
• Have you seen successful series where the central romance doesn't resolve until a later book?

I'd love to hear your thoughts, especially if you've written or read romance that plays with these expectations.

Hola a todos.

Busco 2 o 3 lectores beta para el primer borrador de una novela corta de ficción literaria.

Datos del manuscrito:

• 94 páginas (doble espacio)
• Aproximadamente 20 000 palabras
• Ambientada en la Costa Rica precolombina
• Inspirada en el mito bribri del origen del arcoíris

Advertencias de contenido: violencia, heridas, muerte, persecución, referencias a prácticas rituales indígenas y duelo. No contiene violencia sexual.

No busco corrección de estilo ni ortografía en esta etapa. Lo que más me interesa es saber si la historia funciona como conjunto.

Si les interesa leerla, agradecería especialmente comentarios sobre estas tres preguntas:

1. ¿La historia se entiende y el hilo narrativo resulta claro de principio a fin?
2. ¿La evolución de la relación entre Ohtli y Xinié les pareció natural y emocionalmente convincente?
3. ¿Sintieron que la voz narrativa cambia demasiado entre capítulos, o esos cambios se perciben como parte orgánica del viaje?

Agradezco especialmente comentarios honestos, incluso si son críticos. Prefiero una impresión sincera a un elogio amable.

Si alguien está interesado, puede responder aquí o escribirme por mensaje privado. Muchas gracias por su tiempo.

So estoy en medio de digitar y escribir un manuscrito y yo soy de esos escritores no tienen problema en escribir: me despierto temprano, me hago un cafe y me quedo frente al computador hasta terminar un capitulo. (Casi siempre lo logro).
No se si es por la tematica del libro, o como cada capitulo tiene una emocion/color pero aunque no puedo juzgar un trabajo que no se ha terminado la prosa es bastante esquizofrenica.
Hoy me di cuenta puedo hacer una transicion de prosa entre capitulos pero estoy super indeciso si es el camino correcto.
Algo me dice es mucho mas facil de leer si mantiene un estilo todo el libro, pero si se pierde algo si lo homogenizo todo.
Uds tienen el mismo problema?
Imagino mas de uno escribe diferente de un dia a otro

Hi, there is one mod left in this community.
It is restricted and she hasnt been online in 3 years.
As per community rules, we need either a new mod or to lock or delete this subreddit.

Hi everyone,

The mods kindly gave me permission to post this.

I'm a 46-year-old author from Costa Rica, and I'm finishing up a queer upmarket novel about a 25-year-old gay man from Kansas City who moves to Los Angeles looking for love. The novel follows Leo through a year of dating disasters, structured around Hercules' twelve labors — think Bridget Jones meets Ted Lasso, with better furniture. He's a genuinely good person, and I want to do right by him and his hometown.

Because I've never lived in the Midwest, I want to make sure his voice, habits, and background feel authentic rather than accidentally caricatured. I leaned heavily on "ope" in early drafts as a regional marker, and I need help separating the authentic from the accidental.

What I'm looking for:

One or two people from the KC area who would be willing to do a focused authenticity read — specifically dialogue, regional quirks, and cultural grounding. Bonus points if you're familiar with the local queer scene or are in the 25-35 age range, but neither is strictly required.

Content note: The novel is written for adults and contains mature themes, including non-graphic sex scenes and mentions of recreational drug use.

What I can offer:

Full acknowledgment credit in the published book. My genuine, lasting gratitude. If you're patient with me, I'll send specialty Costa Rican coffee. And if you're a writer yourself, I'm happy to swap critiques.

If you'd like to help a Costa Rican writer get your beautiful city right, drop a comment or send me a DM with a little about your connection to KC.

Thank you.

---

manolo rests

his snout on his paws

tongue out

eyes half closed

a little grunt

of breathing

water bowl full

untouched

food bowl clean

untouched

he doesn’t bark

he doesn’t cry

he doesn’t complain

i touch his warm head

play with his ears

he looks up patiently

thankful

a little drizzle

on the patio

unbothered

a little sun

for hours

unbothered

eighteen hours

in the same spot

i come and talk

kiss

caress

he thanks me

with his eyes

and goes back

to sleep

i carry him

in my arms

smell his pretty head

lay him gently

inside the dog house

he just looks at me

thankful

with the only

good eye remaining

while i prop him correctly

tongue out

crossed paws

i can feel

his thorax

go up and down

slowly

until i come undone

until i find the shovel

in the quiet

of the morning

---

Hey peeps.
I just want to see if other fellow bilingual writers have had this happen to them.
So spanish is my mother tongue and Ive been speaking english for 20+ years and as a writer, well, when you write, you kinda know who is your audience and writing in ONE language vs another has its perks.
My prose in spanish is very atmospheric, very sensorial, I live in the Caribbean, so to me, makes sense.
In english, it bleeds a little, its more cinematic and there is lot of interiority but its similar.
I recently wrote my first full manuscript in english, concept, names, its even set in the US, etc etc. It was a way to challenge myself and BOY IT WAS, I did need a lot of help to bounce off "online sources" mostly to edit and make everything make sense, but not to write.
When I got my first draft, there were parts where the prose did flow, the one that was more me, but there were places where the prose became very rigid and "textbooky" because perhaps i was tired or couldnt get the phrase out in spanish so i hammered it down in .. i dont want to say rudimentary english, but too clean and structured.
And if i were to go other way and directly translate from spanish as it sounds in my head to english ... well, it could be read as "you-know-what-slop".
(I hope I dont get in trouble with the mods but i didnt find any posts discussing this on the weekly post)
So, my question is ... does any other person has had the same problem?
I am aware of it and will fix it, but thats something that unfolded that did not see coming.

Title: The Twelve Labors of Leo

Genre: Upmarket queer fiction / Book club fiction

Word count: 61,000

Comp titles: Bridget Jones's Diary, Less (Andrew Sean Greer), Ted Lasso (vibe)

Timeline: 3 weeks

Type of feedback: Reader response, not line editing. I need to know what works, what drags, and whether the ending lands. Macro feedback.

Summary:

A furniture restorer from Kansas City moves to Los Angeles and decides to document a year of dating disasters in a LiveJournal. His misadventures mirror the Twelve Labors of Hercules – each month, a different "beast" (a billionaire with a gold claw, a pop star who just wants peanut butter, a polycule with a shared Google Doc). Over the year, he learns the difference between being needed and being loved, and faces a choice between two men – the one who broke his heart and the one who's been there all along.

What I'm looking for:

Beta readers who enjoy commercial and upmarket fiction, who are comfortable with queer protagonists, and who can read the full manuscript within about three weeks. I'm not looking for grammar corrections – I need to know if Leo's voice feels authentic, if the friendship with Andrés lands, if the pacing holds, and if the ending makes you want book two.

Content notes:

Contains some explicit sex scenes, drug use, emotional intensity, and one scene with consensual choking. The book has a warm, funny surface but reaches darker places (codependency, emotional breakdowns, grief). It ends without a traditional romantic HEA – >!Leo chooses himself.!< If that's a dealbreaker, this isn't your book.

Specific questions I'd like you to answer after reading (six questions only):

Did you believe in Leo's voice? Did he feel like a real person from Kansas City, or did he feel like a writer's idea of one? Where did he feel most and least authentic?

Which chapter/labor made you most want to keep reading, and which one slowed you down? If you skimmed anywhere, where was it and why?

The book has two tonal registers – warm and comic in some chapters, darker and more literary in others (especially the Elliott and Kit chapters). Did that range work for you, or did it feel inconsistent? Please point to specific moments.

By the end of the book, >!who do you want Leo to end up with – Taylor or Andrés – and did you feel like the book earned that question?!<

>!The ending does not give Leo a romantic resolution. He chooses himself and his sister.!< Did that feel earned, or did it feel like a cop-out? Be honest.

Would you read book two? If yes, what are you most hoping happens? If no, why not?

Logistics:

I'll share a Google Doc with commenting enabled. Please be respectful of the manuscript – it's my work, not yet published. I'll reciprocate with a manuscript of similar length if you have one.

How to apply:

Comment below or DM me.

Thanks for reading. I look forward to your honest thoughts.

**Specific questions I'd like answered:**

1. Does the opening hook you? Where do you lose interest, if at all?

2. Is Leo's voice distinctive and consistent?

3. Does the farmers market setting feel vivid?

4. Any confusion about the characters or their relationships?

**Content notes:** mild language, no explicit content in this chapter.

**First chapter (screenshots):**

https://preview.redd.it/k140wxoc64zg1.png?width=1065&format=png&auto=webp&s=144c8effba4c869d28969979b86b78bf92dba456

https://preview.redd.it/tffkbdpc64zg1.png?width=1065&format=png&auto=webp&s=a1033320d1d7206200c3873e4fa25df68b436b03

https://preview.redd.it/eebftapc64zg1.png?width=1064&format=png&auto=webp&s=0530cb79d114076f6e6622b1ddbcca4877645603

https://preview.redd.it/zzbftapc64zg1.png?width=1064&format=png&auto=webp&s=a9a42fe47e206fff920c097792ce729ff3172248

https://preview.redd.it/7x43obpc64zg1.png?width=1065&format=png&auto=webp&s=d839b13a84389b60c5ae9001a4fd764067a30b19

https://preview.redd.it/1cecwapc64zg1.png?width=1065&format=png&auto=webp&s=ce93d0a08065ae4437b2ebc0b4516be459ca64c6

https://preview.redd.it/7q4ckbpc64zg1.png?width=1064&format=png&auto=webp&s=d800a11209f488baca8b5c9261ef70a81c63f586

https://preview.redd.it/vzmq9hpc64zg1.png?width=1066&format=png&auto=webp&s=944af0812ed5c092061319d9148ef6c502524827

https://preview.redd.it/zbgfwapc64zg1.png?width=1066&format=png&auto=webp&s=a428caaadc5c4775648f7576768fc0539084aee5

https://preview.redd.it/12opvapc64zg1.png?width=1066&format=png&auto=webp&s=48681b23f46bfd387d683eecfd441b4fbab50fdd

https://preview.redd.it/zr0vwapc64zg1.png?width=1064&format=png&auto=webp&s=4c2e2532fdf051bb1546cadc09d76ba687f72c8b

https://preview.redd.it/79khqapc64zg1.png?width=1065&format=png&auto=webp&s=35e6b30429fb0b66fd4580418cc05d5b9d0ebf2e

https://preview.redd.it/34s6pmpc64zg1.png?width=1066&format=png&auto=webp&s=00896df2b7c14a5827355116f7f852e97bbf28ce

https://preview.redd.it/vmy0ympc64zg1.png?width=1067&format=png&auto=webp&s=cf8beb41af7ddc39cad26b10db735c77c8117840

https://preview.redd.it/ep47xppc64zg1.png?width=1065&format=png&auto=webp&s=22747e2da5796c01e0a1a85b993cb87cd3ad8e95

https://preview.redd.it/ap5zbnpc64zg1.png?width=1066&format=png&auto=webp&s=a1d0086bca979521b81d76ea438ed0de687a87c1

https://preview.redd.it/imr2onpc64zg1.png?width=1068&format=png&auto=webp&s=28d87d40bf571b779b4a60253030013c9f95426a

**Please reply with your feedback in the commentsr.** I'm open to line‑level comments or general impressions. Thank you!

Title: The Twelve Labors of Leo
Genre: Upmarket queer fiction / Book club fiction
Word count: 61,000
Comp titles: Bridget Jones's Diary, Less (Andrew Sean Greer), Ted Lasso (vibe)
Timeline: 3 weeks
Type of feedback: Reader response, not line editing. I need to know what works, what drags, and whether the ending lands. Macro feedback.

Summary:
A furniture restorer from Kansas City moves to Los Angeles and decides to document a year of dating disasters in a LiveJournal. His misadventures mirror the Twelve Labors of Hercules – each month, a different "beast" (a billionaire with a gold claw, a pop star who just wants peanut butter, a polycule with a shared Google Doc). Over the year, he learns the difference between being needed and being loved, and faces a choice between two men – the one who broke his heart and the one who's been there all along.

What I'm looking for:
Beta readers who enjoy commercial and upmarket fiction, who are comfortable with queer protagonists, and who can read the full manuscript within about three weeks. I'm not looking for grammar corrections – I need to know if Leo's voice feels authentic, if the friendship with Andrés lands, if the pacing holds, and if the ending makes you want book two.

Content notes:
Contains some explicit sex scenes, drug use, emotional intensity, and one scene with consensual choking. The book has a warm, funny surface but reaches darker places (codependency, emotional breakdowns, grief). >!It ends without a traditional romantic HEA – Leo chooses himself!<. If that's a dealbreaker, this isn't your book.

Specific questions I'd like you to answer after reading (six questions only):

1. Did you believe in Leo's voice? Did he feel like a real person from Kansas City, or did he feel like a writer's idea of one? Where did he feel most and least authentic?
2. Which chapter/labor made you most want to keep reading, and which one slowed you down? If you skimmed anywhere, where was it and why?
3. The book has two tonal registers – warm and comic in some chapters, darker and more literary in others (especially the Elliott and Kit chapters). Did that range work for you, or did it feel inconsistent? Please point to specific moments.
4. By the end of the book, who do you want Leo to end up with – Taylor or Andrés – and did you feel like the book earned that question?
5. >!The ending does not give Leo a romantic resolution. He chooses himself and his sister. Did that feel earned, or did it feel like a cop-out? Be honest.!<
6. Would you read book two? If yes, what are you most hoping happens? If no, why not?

Logistics:
I'll share a Google Doc with commenting enabled. Please be respectful of the manuscript – it's my work, not yet published. I'll reciprocate with a manuscript of similar length if you have one.

How to apply:
Comment below or DM me.

Thanks for reading. I look forward to your honest thoughts.