u/Timid-Cloud

Hiii I'm 24F, looking for anyone who would like to play Overwatch together! I'm new to playing (both Overwatch and games in general really), so if you're super competitive and need things to go a certain way, I'm probably not the person for you. BUT if you're just wanting some wholesome casual gameplay I'm looking for some people to play with! I play on PS5.

I'm pretty shy so its unlikely that I'll be open to voice chatting at first, but if we end up playing together for a while I probably will! I don't know what I'm doing half the time and am just winging it since I'm still learning... if you're okay with that, we should play!

How are any of you guys making actual friends? And I dont mean just here (though could be), I mean in general... how are we meeting people? I try the friendship apps, the discord servers, posting here, and I find it so hard to ever truly connect with anyone because it seems nothing ever happens. It feels hard to talk to people & so many will randomly disappear before you get to know them. I've only gained one actual friend from this & I could tell right away we would get along because the conversation just flowed and it felt like we clicked. But again... thats happened once. In years.

I feel like I'm going insane like is anyone else here struggling to make actual friendships how are we doing? I know I'm not the only one because I've seen other posts about it but I'm genuinely curious.

This is my first time making a post here, and apparently it's just gonna be me venting.

The years of isolation have taken a toll on me. I feel like I'm dying inside, and like I've genuinely lost parts of myself. It feels like the loneliness has legitimately sucked all personality out of my body. Whenever someone lacks friendships or just simply people they can truly talk to, everyone's advice is always something like "use your hobbies and interests as a bridge to meet new people." And usually I would agree that's a great way to meet others, because that's how I met all my greatest friends in my past, was through me just doing things I liked and meeting them through that. But that advice sucks when it's more than just a rough patch of loneliness. If it goes on for long enough, it genuinely feels like it starts altering you, and not in a good way. I find it so hard to have interest in anything because I'm so consumed by how painful isolation feels. I find it difficult to focus on things because it's just not the same as it would be if I had someone to do them with or even talk about them with. It's always alone alone alone. It's gotten to the point I feel like no matter what I can't get myself out.

I used to have amazing friendships. The type where we would talk all day every day and prioritized each other. I've had a couple relationships before. Nothing prepared me for what it would be like when I lost all of those things all within the span of a year. I so desperately need people in my life again that I feel like I'm going insane, it feels physically painful. Honestly, for the first 2 and a half years I tried my best to suppress it and act like everything was fine, but now that I've felt it more, it's like I can't unfeel it.

I have trouble figuring out what to do, where to go, who to talk to, anything. It all feels so paralyzing. And the surface level talk that you get before you're truly close with someone, I feel like I can't stand because I've been alone for too long and it frustrates me because I so badly need something deeper and real, but then at the same time I've been so deprived for so long that I can't even sustain a deeper connection because it literally feels life or death, and I can't just enjoy it because I'm constantly freaking out internally. It sucks. Nothing feels like enough yet everything feels like too much at the exact same time.

I also deeply resent my parents more and more as time passes because of their lack of emotional availability. I think they've always been emotionally unsupportive, but growing up it didn't bother me quite as bad since I had my own friends and things that were supporting me instead. It wasn't until I lost everything and was forced into years of my parents being the only people around me most days that I truly started feeling how bad it was. I resent them so much for not being what I need them to be for me in the darkest period of my life. I have a family who barely ever interacts with one another, like everyone wants to be a loner. Most holidays we don't even celebrate because they think it's pointless, and the ones we do the "celebration" is like maybe an hour of everyone barely even interacting and eating dinner together before someone is like "Well, time to go!" It drives me insane. No family activities, no deep talks, nothing. I genuinely feel more alone in their presence than I probably would if I was actually by myself, because talking to them feels like talking to a wall. My entire family is either completely oblivious to how much I'm hurting because they don't pay attention, or if I do try and talk about it I'm met with silence or an attempt to change the subject, something. I feel like I can't take it anymore. I don't know why I even continue to try and bring it up, because I know they aren't going to support me. It's been years of this and they have never once offered support, just a bunch of "I don't know what to tell you" and "don't be sad." They think just because they care to do nothing but watch tv, have no interest in knowing their own family members or interacting with them, and have no friends or lives of their own that that's completely normal and just cannot even relate to what I'm going through, and I resent them more and more every day that I wake up and still have to feel so alone.

I'm so tired of it. I wish I had people again, like, actual, consistent contact with people. A conversation that spans further than just "What do you want for dinner?" Something. Anything.

I technically have a couple 'friends' but we hardly speak. It's not the same. Again, it feels as if they may as well not even be there. I'm so tired of being alone.

For a bit of backstory, I am in my 20s and I've spent the past few years feeling very frozen and alone. I've always been an introverted person, so I've never been one to have a ton of friends, but throughout my time growing up I always seemed to have at least one super close friend that I shared my life with and felt really seen by. I had those friends, things I liked doing that further connected me to those friends and other people in general, and just felt like I had a place in the world and had people who wanted me around, that my presence or lack thereof actually mattered daily.

A few years ago, I fell out with my old best friend and in that falling out, also lost pretty much my entire life structure. I lost the deep friendship we shared, the community we had built together, the friends we had in that community. I lost the love I used to have for things I liked doing, lost anyone truly knowing me, lost pretty much everything that made life felt like it mattered. I actually got into a relationship very soon after that falling out but it also fell through, which just further destroyed me.

I’ve spent the last few years mostly isolated, which has really taken a toll. I technically do have a couple friends, but they’re more distant and we don’t speak often. It’s just not at all the same as having a consistent community or friend like I was used to before. 

How do I become known in the world again? Having a community to belong to and making genuine friendships felt so much easier when I was younger. Now it just feels like everyone either already has their people, or are in a seemingly similar position as myself yet nothing seems to ever change. I know the obvious answer is I have to get myself back into the world and do things again to even be around other people, but advice like “just find a hobby” are too vague for me to handle right now. I end up freezing up and not knowing what to try or where to go, but I so badly just want to simply be known by people again. This period of spending most of my time alone has really taken a toll on me mentally.

I need people again. Humans aren’t meant to be alone so much and it was a total shock to my system when I randomly found myself no longer having nearly anyone. I’m afraid it’s just going to be like this forever now. What can I do?