u/Tiny_Development_594

​

Im an 18yo female, and im staying in Malaga alone for 1 month. Any cant miss places or events for me to go to? Trying to meet new people!!

The only love I know is from the movies. That kind of aggressive passionate love that you see everywhere online. I know that isnt reality, but i dont know what is. Everyone around me tries to explain it, but i just dont understand.

Am I supposed to have butterflies? Am i supposed to feel things intensely? What is it? What's normal and what's not?

I don't know what else I could add about my situation to aid in any response, but ill answer questions in the comments. But please, this is my first relationship, so for those with more experience, please help me.

I don't know if this is the right subreddit to post this, but im kind of desperate. Im in search of maybe someone who has gone through something similar and has over come it, or someone who saw someone go through it?

​

For a bit of context, im diagnosed with TAG and struggle a lot with overthinking. Im also on anti-depressents which might be affecting somethings too.

​

So, for the actual issue. Ive been with my boyfriend (18M) for about a year and 4 months now. He's my first real relationship (im 18F, we're 3 months apart, im the older one), and so everything is really new to me. At the start of the relationship, everytime i saw him i constantly made googly eyes, every time he put his hands on my waist I had butterflies. But now that infatuation phase is kind of gone? I look at him and just think, 'yeah that's my boyfriend, cool.' He puts his hands on my waist and Im like 'ok, this is just normal'. On top of that, physically, he's not really my type? I find him cute but not attractive? I know that will change since i find people who look more mature more attractive, and him being male, he's not hit that end of puberty yet? I dont want to break up, but i dont know if this is all normal? Im always questioning if i still love him because I dont know what that's meant to be. Ive never felt anything like this for anyone before, so I don't know what to expect. Esspcially in the long run of a relationship. At the start, it was easy because, well, it felt like what you see in the movies. But now any love i feel seems so quite that im confused.. Everyone i talk to tells me i do, but part of me just cant accept it? Everything ive ever seen tells me this isnt what its meant to be, so im just confused. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me, he's patient, kind, loving, he listens, who knows me so well, we have amazing communication (HES AWARE OF ALL OF THIS AND STAYED!!!) I dont want to lose the best person in my life because im anxious and confused. I also keep comparing him to other people, like people who i find more attractive (i dont tell him whrn i do, obviously) And the truth is, I know that if I leave, this will happen with the next person, because thats just how i am.

​

Please, if anyone relates even remotely, who's anxious and confused, or just someone who was in a relationship with someone like this, or knows someone who went through this, please comment. I feel like im alone in this, and thats the worse part. No one i know has any idea what im going through, and I feel like im going insane and am just broken in some way. Please please please respond, upvote, anything to get this to people who can help.

​

Overall, I just want to know if this is what I should expect. Whether this quite kind of love is normal, and not something I should be worried about. Anything from anyone that xan give any insight would be greatly appreciated!!!

​

(P.s. im so sorry if its hard to understand this, im just putting all my thoughts down and this is just how my brain sounds)

I don't know many Brazilians here in oxford, but want to find some to watch the games with (no real point in watching them alone in my room). Just want to know if there are any events of sorts at a pub or something I could join!