u/TomhetensDatter

My online friend (a 32-year-old man) rejected me and ignored my last message for a month because he had a new girlfriend the week I confessed my romantic feelings. Then he got back to me with a casual message. He said he had been depressed for a while and didn't want to disturb me with this mood. That's why I didn't asked him, "why did you ignore me?" I didn't say that way. Because he has the right to reject me, and he has the right to be lovers with someone else. When he returned to me, I supported him and acted politely. I acted as if nothing had happened. I don't know how he interpreted my behavior, but I think I acted warmly and friendly. He was constantly asking me what I was doing during our absence, and since he lived in another country, he indirectly asked to find out if I had plans to travel abroad during this summer vacation.I think he asked this question because of this: when I confessed my feelings to him, I told him that I was planning to go to the country where he lives this summer and that I dreamed of meeting him face to face. I think he's trying to say that when he broke up with the girl he was with (I'm not sure, I didn't ask any questions about it), if I went to his country, he might be available to meet and get acquainted with me right now. He's also having problems with his work life right now, and even if we had a romantic relationship, I know that the job search has affected his psychology quite badly. So actually, he might have done me a favor by rejecting me, because maybe neither of us were ready for this. I don't know if he still thinks I want him romantically. But I have no plans for a romantic relationship with him right now, and I'm not making any effort in that regard. But I'm not trying to get to know anyone else either. I'm just focusing on my career and my education. When he texts me, I respond to him with positive messages to make him feel confident. I'm doing this purely for our friendship with him. But for the last week, whenever I try to continue the conversation, he starts responding late and seems to get distracted at some point. When we are talking about academic subjects or something related to art, he suddenly interrupts the conversation and turns to me two days later and offers reasons such as "I was busy, I'm sorry, I slept a lot last night". He keeps the conversation going and are curious about what I'm doing and how my day is going. But he only shows interest in me when he sends the first message. When I text, I feel like I'm sending a message that will always be seen late. I feel like a slave. But if I were to tell him this way, he would politely tell me that he definitely wasn't aiming for anything like that, and I might come across as a sensitive girl who can't handle rejection. I want to keep my maturity and pride, but I can't understand some of his actions. What do you guys think? What should I do to avoid coming across as rude or insecure in a situation like this? How should my messages look?

The person who rejected me a while ago, said he had a new girlfriend, and ignored me for a while, then now has contacted me. He is wondering how I am and how my life has been lately. Obviously, I've been through a lot during this time, but I haven't written back. I didn't want him to feel responsible. How should I respond to this friendly message? he mentioned that the reason for his silence was some mental health issues. This is the first time I've encountered a situation like this. The first day we talked, he was very eager to talk, but the second day, even though he sent a good morning message, he didn't try as hard to continue the conversation as he did the first day. And as usual, I'm trying to act warm and friendly, as if I hadn't confessed my love to him, because I didn't want him to feel obligated. And out of politeness, I continued the conversation today, but he fell asleep without answering my last question, and he'll probably say something like, "Sorry, I had to sleep." I think he was trying to gauge whether I was still interested in him, that's how I felt. How should I deal with guys like that? Can you help me? I've never experienced anything like this before.

The person who rejected me a while ago, said he had a new girlfriend, and ignored me for a while, then now has contacted me. He is wondering how I am and how my life has been lately. Obviously, I've been through a lot during this time, but I haven't written back. I didn't want him to feel responsible. How should I respond to this friendly message? he mentioned that the reason for his silence was some mental health issues. This is the first time I've encountered a situation like this. The first day we talked, he was very eager to talk, but the second day, even though he sent a good morning message, he didn't try as hard to continue the conversation as he did the first day. And as usual, I'm trying to act warm and friendly, as if I hadn't confessed my love to him, because I didn't want him to feel obligated. And out of politeness, I continued the conversation today, but he fell asleep without answering my last question, and he'll probably say something like, "Sorry, I had to sleep." I think he was trying to gauge whether I was still interested in him, that's how I felt. How should I deal with guys like that? Can you help me? I've never experienced anything like this before.

The person who rejected me a while ago, said he had a new girlfriend, and ignored me for a while, then now has contacted me. He is wondering how I am and how my life has been lately. Obviously, I've been through a lot during this time, but I haven't written back. I didn't want him to feel responsible. How should I respond to this friendly message? he mentioned that the reason for his silence was some mental health issues. This is the first time I've encountered a situation like this.

(he is my online friend and he lives in another country)

I rejected my online friend of six months the first time because I didn't want a long-distance relationship. But I was the one who wanted to keep talking. Then I found a girlfriend and told my friend, and she suddenly started confessing with details her feelings to me. Then I gave her time to process things, but I didn't reply to her last message. There were no questions in the message, and it seemed like she was trying to normalize everything. I didn't reply. And then things changed in my life. I don't have a girlfriend now, but I keep wondering, "Did that girl deserve a chance?" I feel like I miss her.

Could you write about your experiences regarding this? In my opinion, this was a boundary violation. How did you forgive yourself? And were you able to return to how you were before you fell in love with your friend? Were you able to regain your friendship? It's very difficult to cope with this pain.

Could you write about your experiences regarding this? In my opinion, this was a boundary violation. How did you forgive yourself? And were you able to return to how you were before you fell in love with your friend? Were you able to regain your friendship? It's very difficult to cope with this pain.

I have a terrible mother. She's obsessive and religious. She's far from standard when it comes to cleanliness and order in the house. She refuses psychological treatment and constantly starts fights at home. She hasn't physically abused me or my siblings yet, and she's actually a well-meaning person. But I've reached the point where I hate her. She constantly interferes with how we dress, tries to educate us about religion even though she doesn't know much about it herself, and pressures us. She says, "If I don't teach my children these things, God will punish me in the afterlife." She checks our phones, who our friends are, and whether we talk to boys. She says, "Parents have to protect their children until they get married." She believes we have the right to education and earn money, but she only wants us to live according to her religious standards. She says, "If you don't listen to my advice now, bad people will teach you a lesson, and you will have to learn things through experience and suffer." I'm struggling with many psychological problems like anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and depression. I've started to hate God, and I can't communicate properly with people. I'm a girl living with my family, who only studies and feels extremely pressured. How can I cope with this problem until I find a job and a way to leave this home? Can you suggest a solution? Lately, I've been wishing I had been born in one of the Scandinavian countries, and that I had the option to plan my future there; I would be really happy. I love my family, but I don't want to be like them. What should I do? How can I build my own free life?

I have a terrible mother. She's obsessive and religious. She's far from standard when it comes to cleanliness and order in the house. She refuses psychological treatment and constantly starts fights at home. She hasn't physically abused me or my siblings yet, and she's actually a well-meaning person. But I've reached the point where I hate her. She constantly interferes with how we dress, tries to educate us about religion even though she doesn't know much about it herself, and pressures us. She says, "If I don't teach my children these things, God will punish me in the afterlife." She checks our phones, who our friends are, and whether we talk to boys. She says, "Parents have to protect their children until they get married." She believes we have the right to education and earn money, but she only wants us to live according to her religious standards. She says, "If you don't listen to my advice now, bad people will teach you a lesson, and you will have to learn things through experience and suffer." I'm struggling with many psychological problems like anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and depression. I've started to hate God, and I can't communicate properly with people. I'm a girl living with my family, who only studies and feels extremely pressured. How can I cope with this problem until I find a job and a way to leave this home? Can you suggest a solution? Lately, I've been wishing I had been born in one of the Scandinavian countries, and that I had the option to plan my future there; I would be really happy. I love my family, but I don't want to be like them. What should I do? How can I build my own free life?

I have a terrible mother. She's obsessive and religious. She's far from standard when it comes to cleanliness and order in the house. She refuses psychological treatment and constantly starts fights at home. She hasn't physically abused me or my siblings yet, and she's actually a well-meaning person. But I've reached the point where I hate her. She constantly interferes with how we dress, tries to educate us about religion even though she doesn't know much about it herself, and pressures us. She says, "If I don't teach my children these things, God will punish me in the afterlife." She checks our phones, who our friends are, and whether we talk to boys. She says, "Parents have to protect their children until they get married." She believes we have the right to education and earn money, but she only wants us to live according to her religious standards. She says, "If you don't listen to my advice now, bad people will teach you a lesson, and you will have to learn things through experience and suffer." I'm struggling with many psychological problems like anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and depression. I've started to hate God, and I can't communicate properly with people. I'm a girl living with my family, who only studies and feels extremely pressured. How can I cope with this problem until I find a job and a way to leave this home? Can you suggest a solution? Lately, I've been wishing I had been born in one of the Scandinavian countries, and that I had the option to plan my future there; I would be really happy. I love my family, but I don't want to be like them. What should I do? How can I build my own free life?

I (29F) have been in two past relationships that did not work out, and I am glad they did not lead to marriage. However, outside of those, my dating life has been very difficult.

Whenever I talk to someone and feel like a connection is building, they suddenly stop talking to me or find a new partner. The people I have liked in the past have never felt the same way about me. On the other hand, when people do show interest in me, I feel no connection to them at all (though I always make sure to be honest and not lead them on).

People often tell me I am attractive, but I never seem to be the person who is chosen for a long-term commitment. It has left me feeling down, lonely, and worried about my age.

My Dilemma: Timing and Standards

I am 29, and I am worried that as time goes on, my chances of starting a family will decrease. This worry makes me wonder: Should I start giving opportunities to people I am genuinely not attracted to, simply because time is moving quickly?

Right now, my life is in a transition phase. I need time to focus on my career and my job. Ideally, I want a supportive partner who will stay by my side and build a life with me slowly. I would be perfectly fine waiting 4 to 5 years to get married, as long as I have a stable and loving partnership during that time.

But because I cannot find a mutual connection, I feel like I am running out of options. Should I lower my standards to secure a future, or keep waiting for the right connection?

TL;DR: 29F feels left behind in romance after a string of unreciprocated crushes and guys leaving right before things get serious. She wants marriage and kids in 4-5 years after settling her career, but fears she is getting too old. Wondering if she should settle for men she isn't attracted to just to secure a future.

I asked a friend, and he said that marriage at that age would be disadvantageous for a woman in terms of fertility. He said that men generally prefer younger women. I'm feeling discouraged. I'm almost 30 these days and I'm feeling a bit depressed. Will only men who don't want children be with me when I reach that age (33-35)? Do men all over the world think this way?

About a month ago, I (M 31) politely rejected my online friend (F 28), who had confessed her feelings to me at length that day. Furthermore, I was dating a new girl, and the fact that she found out about it made her confessions even more dramatic. The next day, I told her she needed time to process things. Was that wrong? A week later, she wrote to me saying everything was fine, that she just felt embarrassed, that she had never confessed to anyone before, and that I shouldn't be upset, but I didn't reply. Do you think I did the right thing? She hasn't written to me for a few weeks.