u/TonightsSpecial

And what do I mean by that…?

Well, I got home from a long shift at work about an hour ago… got out of my work clothes.. got into something comfortable… made some coffee (I sometimes like drinking a cozy hot cup of coffee even if it’s at night), made myself some toast with it… enjoying my night, leading into my day off tomorrow (which is one of my favorite feelings to feel when enjoying the night before), as I watch a bit of YouTube on my TV…

…even though that doesn’t sound like anything special, it’s my little wind-down routine, and it makes me content.

As I’m drinking my coffee, and eating my toast (Pepperidge Farms Butter Bread w/Land’O Lakes butter 😌), watching something on YouTube… it just sort of hit me… all it takes is this kind of chillaxin’ to make me happy.

Then in my moment of feeling contentment, I was thinking of putting on an episode of STAR WARS: Ahsoka. The other day, I saw the Season 2 teaser trailer that Disney revealed recently, and it looks really good (I love Star Wars)…!

The fact that I can make these decisions without having to worry if someone else wants to watch whatever or not, is truly wonderful. The freedom of living life alone like this, is something I think truly suits me as a person. I always liked my alone time, but idk, recently, with some thought on my current life and what it consists of, I think I really prefer this than to be with someone. The single life just suits my desires much more than when I was with a woman.

That’s just me, though. My life is pretty basic, and I’m content with the simplicity of it. 😌

Just wanted to share.

Time for some Ahsoka now. 🌌

My life is boring. I support myself. I work. I come home. I chill.

Rinse and repeat. I have no friends currently. My enjoyment is gaming and making music.

I’m now in my mid 40’s and I lead a simple life. No family of my own. I don’t want one. I don’t want a girlfriend or a spouse (no energy for that these days if I’m being real), and yeah… I spend 99.9% of my day-to-day by myself.

Recent years, I’ve sometimes struggled with feeling like there’s something wrong with me cause, when I could befriend people in my 20’s and 30’s… my 40’s, so far, has been friendless.

So, I’m thinking to myself mostly. And my God (I’m Christian). But yeah… if you objectively look at my life from the outside, it looks uneventful, boring and friendless. Which many would equate to a loser. And that kind of existence, many of us have a gripe with when we don’t have the social/status of a bussling lifestyle, and we’re seen as failures, recluses, and loners.

Idk why some things are the way they are, as much as I could potentially do something about it, but that’s the way it’s been. I go work a labor intensive job, make my money, pay my bills, and by the time my days off roll around… I’m just too depleted to want to do anything outside my living space.

I’m content with just having my two hobbies. I’ve accepted I’m going to be friendless most likely. I’m coming to grips that my life turned out to be a life that, when I die, I will probably, literally, have a funeral where no one comes to “mourn” my passing. And that’s just the way it is. I know this happens to a lot of people, but I’m looking to be one of them.

I do want to live life. I’m hoping to live another 30-40 years, God willing…

Being middle-aged, you really begin being confronted of your body not being what it was… as far as just energy and resilience. I’m not saying people my age don’t have great, healthy bodies… but… if you don’t have an active, exercising, or workout lifestyle routine… like many people do… you just feel the aging really beginning.

Especially with my job, it takes a toll on me. I work there cause it pays well compared to most regular jobs. So, I just do it and deal with the pain sometimes. Stretching has become important for my work consistency.

I just wanted to share this. I’m a loser and that’s okay. As much as okay is gonna be with that kind of existence.

I have hope, despite all my challenges and struggles. I know where I am headed after my dying body is no more due to my faith. So, I am not in despair. Just coming to grips that my life is what it is and the older you get, if you haven’t already cultivated lasting friendships or started a family already… it just gets more cemented as such. I had a lot of life experiences in my “younger days.”

Experienced romance. Experienced uprooting my life and moving to a different state once. And so many random situations inbetween. It’s not like my life hasn’t been eventful… it’s just come to a point where… sitting on my couch on my day off is the reality of my free time. I want to relax. These are my recoup days from working. Getting old is challenging. Again, you really start to see the body show its limitations, when you once just were more nimble, energetic and full of vigor.

…wow, what a depressing post this is lol. Anyway, just being honest here.

Finding the little things that bring some kind of enjoyment to my days has become a cherishable thing.

I don’t know how to end this, so…

Sincerely,
A recluse

Idk why I’m bothering writing a post… but here I am, writing a post about… how… for some unknown reason(s), I’ve come to realize that, nobody cares about me.

Sure I have my immediate family members that do, but besides that… I am a pariah. Truly. Idk what it is these days, but no one cares… about what you may ask? Idk… truly becoming friends. I live alone. Been alone for 5 years currently, and even though I am content (for the most part), sometimes the loneliness rears its face infront of me and I’m like: Yep… I am a loner and no one cares about me.

I don’t get it. Idk what it is. I feel like I’m a true reject. And as much as you come to terms with these things about yourself and life, when those realities hit you on a vulnerable day, it’s depressing… and discouraging. And it’s making me this recluse. Do I care to be? Well, I do like my alone time… but when you put yourself out there in various ways and no one cares, or if they did, it all just eventually fades away… leaving you in that isolation you’re so accustomed to.

I realize that this kind of existence amongst the human race, has its downsides. I’m becoming strange. It’s hard to put into words, but… it’s like… the lack thereof and in this case, genuine friendship(s), it feels like I’m being that “odd recluse.” And it messes with me. It tells me, apparently, there’s something off about me, just enough that no one bothers or wants to bother with you.

That mentality is like a cancer to your self-esteem and mind. Idk.. I don’t need validation from people or anything lame like that—I just.. don’t understand why I’m ultimately this isolated, recluse of a person. Maybe I am too weird for people and they sense it and stay away.

Maybe I am a weirdo. Maybe there is something odd about me that people pick up on, that makes them not want to befriend me. This is what I’m really beginning to believe about myself. And when you’re different like that, and you fit the part… it kind of becomes a part of you. That can’t be good.

Idk. I don’t know what I’m trying to get at here… as you can see, I’m a bit disturbed in this corner of my mind. Am I destined to remain like this? Alone and rejected? Maybe. Maybe not..

I have a full time job, I take care of myself, I have a decent apartment, I have a nice brand new car I bought last year, I manage my finances well and pay all my bills without scraping by… I have structure in my life, but this… whatever this is… has no foundation. It’s destitute. And I feel it within my body.

That can’t be good. Anyway, just needed to vent. Thanks for listening. If anyone feels compelled to maybe DM me, feel free. I promise I’m not this sad most of the time.

It’s just all coming out today for me.

I’m glad this sub exists because I found a community that gets the reality for many of us.

Idk where I’m gonna go with this but I just want to share my life of living alone and the journey and challenges it thrusted itself upon me. I’ve been living alone (after a 2021 break up) for five full years now.

I’ve been single before for 7 years prior, so being single wasn’t really a big issue for me. During that previous season, I had some friends (that have come and gone and more on that) that I would do things with from time to time. And I had, at the time of circumstance, my own mom as a roommate (she’s fully disabled from working) during those years. She eventually moved out and I got into a relationship soon after that lasted around 2 years…

Once that relationship ended, I found myself, for the first time ever, truly alone and getting over some of the regrets I felt I made during the relationship I was in. Took me about 3 months, but one day, I was over her and began my life as a single guy, supporting himself.

So, throughout these 5 years, one of the things I’ve faced was… I never could cultivate friends for some reason. And tbh, I’ve come to believe it’s because God (I’m a believer) just didn’t want me having friends for whatever reason and or purposes of His own. I understand people have their own opinions of God/etc and that’s fine. I’m not here to shove my beliefs down peoples throats, I’m just giving you my account of my life and my faith ties into the fabrics of it.

So yeah… not having friends and being truly isolated, going to work, coming home, chillin by myself, sleep, go to work, come home, be by myself, etc, has confronted me with what to do with all the free time. I don’t have a family of my own. So, I’m truly “living alone” in the bleakest sense.

For a while, I felt the sting of self-loathing, like, somehow I wasn’t this or that enough for people to want to get to know me, want to stick around, etc. And I asked myself how some people just seem to have that. A life of friends. And seemingly formed a lasting bond. A desire to remain in one another’s life, even in everyone’s busy, chaotic adult life. It seemed like, after a while, I was beginning to feel like… and I’m being honest here… like… “am I cursed?” of not having even one, good friend? It was something I would wrestle with from time to time.

For the record, I am an introvert (can also be extroverted in certain situations) and I’ve always had a loner-like quality to myself. So, there is a part of me that likes my isolation. As I read some of the posts here already, yeah, the perk of waking up and not having to adjust your going about but you truly get to “do what you want,” without anyone’s feelings to consider… is truly nice and unique to living alone. I like waking up early, making my coffee, and just chillin on my couch and watch what I want to watch… with no one to entertain, or consider. I’m pretty easy to please. I lead a simple life as far as recreational activities. My job is labor-intensive, so tbh, most of my energy is depleted by the time I have my day off, and all I care to do is recoup that energy by chillin out.

Some people would find that boring, but, I learned to enjoy myself in the small things. I do like a good road trip, day trip, adventure. But tbh, the older I get, the more I’m content with being this recluse. But being a recluse, comes with its side effects, mentally.

I’ve always been sort of a quirky dude.

So, I truly believe, the more you isolate (intentionally or not) from people and you don’t interact with society much, don’t have a family, spouse, etc… you… sort of begin to develop odd traits. I’m sure if all of us loners were to be open about how we go about our day, moment to moment, we’d all look like weirdo’s lol. I truly believe that. And I’m not gonna sit here and act like, as much as I’m normal… that I don’t have oddities.

And I think, when those subtle oddities (due to isolation) start becoming part of your personality, you feel like you’re “too different” for most. Least that’s how I’ve come to feel. I’ve always been an aquired taste and my living alone for these years just really exasperated that, imo, hah…

I know I am rambling but I knew I was just going to go off the cuff once I started to share my day in the life.

So, I’m glad this sub exists because I found a sect of people that probably get some of the things I’m talking about of my own life. I’m content with my singleness (I tried Hinge for a bit earlier this year, matched up with a few women, but ended up deleting my profile because I realized I don’t want a romantic relationship… least for the foreseeable future), and sure, there’s fleeting moments of, hmm… having someone that cherishes me, gets me, loves me unconditionally, and wants to be with me, despite my flaws and quirks, would be nice… but, those don’t seem to remain a lasting desire.

I truly think I’m gonna die without being with someone. And there’s a sobering confrontation to that reality. Like, you think, wow… those old people you see that truly live their lasts days as a loner, and then die with that kind of existence… I’m looking to be that? Idk. You don’t think that would be your life for the early adult years. Ya know? I’ve had like 3 serious relationships in my life. And dated a handful inbetween. So I always pictured myself “finding the one” and sharing a life until our last days.

But alas, here we are. Me typing this sweet nothing in a subreddit called “living alone.” 😏

Anyway, I just wanted to introduce my story. Idk if anyone will care. I know it’s nothing exciting. But… it is what it is at the moment. Thanks for reading.

Edit: I just thought I’d add after posting. I play guitar and I write, produce and record my own music. That’s something I enjoy doing. Some of my music I posted here on Reddit.

When I got my S2 at launch last year, I remember it feeling uniquely special, even though I owned the original Switch for years and not really investing much time with it compared to PS5 or Series X.

The Switch 2 has become my favorite way to play. Mostly from it being a truly capable machine and providing good to excellent performance in current modern game ports… mix this with Nintendo’s first party support, and you’ve got a super intriguing system in the making.

I found myself not losing that fascination with it to this day. I found myself playing everything in portable mode and not playing my PS5 as much. I eventually sold my PS5 because it wasn’t getting much use. I decided I’m going to invest in S2 mostly because it’s proved to be my main place to play.

With it being a little over a year in and it’s library already looking solid, and major third party announcements having a Switch 2 version in the works… this system is shaping up to be legendary, imo. The fact that big titles like COD is day and date, RE Veronica, Elden Ring, The Duskbloods being a Nintendo exclusive from Miyazaki, the OoT remake coming this year, Orbitals looking like an awesome, gorgeous exclusive… it’s just a platform that’s really startin’ to cook.

So, I just wanted to make this poll to see where you all stand. I get this is a Switch 2 sub and there will be unavoidable bias to some degree but the question still stands…

…do you think the S2 is becoming the best console of this generation?

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