Am I overreacting about my fiancé’s family after our engagement?
I could really use some outside perspective because I’m feeling heartbroken, and I don’t know if I’m taking this too personally.
My fiancé proposed to me a week ago while we were on holiday. It was a beautiful moment, and I was genuinely so happy. While we were still away, we called his parents to tell them the news so they would hear it directly from us before we got home. They congratulated us, seemed surprised and everything felt normal.
When we got back, things started to feel… off.
His dad seemed a little distant at first, although later he asked to see my ring. His mum has been perfectly normal. But we also got a comment along the lines of, “Well, you handled this nicely behind our backs.” For context, my fiancé didn’t tell anyone he was planning to propose. It was entirely his decision to keep it a surprise, and I never asked him to tell his family beforehand.
Then his brother came over with his wife.
His brother has very negative views about marriage in general, and honestly, the way he treats his own wife isn’t something I admire. He immediately started questioning us about the proposal. It didn’t feel like genuine curiosity—it felt like he was trying to get me to admit that I had pressured my fiancé into proposing.
Then he kept asking questions like: “So what’s the plan now?” “What’s your future?” “Where is your life going?” But it wasn’t in a warm or supportive way. It felt much more like I was being interrogated or tested, almost like one of those stereotypical “What’s your intention with my daughter?” conversations—but directed at me.
I became increasingly uncomfortable and eventually had to leave because I felt like I was about to cry.
To be clear, my fiancé has been supportive since we talked about it. He says that if his family has an issue with our engagement, they should say it directly instead of expecting us to guess what they’re thinking. He refuses to play guessing games, and I actually respect that.
I think what hurts me most is that I imagined coming home and celebrating this exciting milestone with his family. Instead, I feel anxious, judged, and like our happiness has somehow become overshadowed.
Am I overreacting? Has anyone else experienced a strange or disappointing reaction from their partner’s family after getting engaged? I’d really appreciate hearing other people’s perspectives.