Just me venting about my journey with JW
I see a lot of amazing posts on here (and other groups) of people waking up from the JW’s and doing these amazing, adventurous things with their lives. It’s so beautiful to see. But does anyone else feel like they never lived up to their potential?
I was born and raised in the religion/cult, got really depressed and into some dangerous habits as a teenager, and didn’t fully get out until my early 20s. I was just going through the motions by the time I was 14. I got DF’d, because an elder saw me smoke a cigarette. It wasn’t even my congregation or even state. My parents lived out of state and it was their elder. A few years later, I got diagnosed with type 1 bipolar disorder.
I never cared about school or took it too seriously, because it wasn’t priority in my childhood home. I was expected to do my homework and get decent grades, but I wasn’t pushed or encouraged with school things. I tried to go to vet tech school, which was frowned upon, but I had a manic episode (unbeknownst to me or anyone) and got blackout drunk and dropped out 2 days later. I wish so badly that I had the drive to do better and had been diagnosed/treated for BD earlier. But I’m getting off track.
I have kids, I have my own family, but a large part of me just feels unfulfilled. Like I’m missing a big piece of who I am that I don’t even know. I never had that freedom to figure out who I am as an individual.
Rant over. It just is a sucky feeling.