u/Tricky_Wrongdoer2576

I (along with my other flatmate) have been living with our roommate for two years. We have always been accommodating, even changing our own dietary habits such as avoiding onions and garlic to make her comfortable. But now that she’s moving out, the dynamic has turned toxic.

The situation:

Financial Exploitation: On her way out, she is demanding a significant "setup fee" from the incoming tenant. The flat is fully furnished by the owner, and all our shared household expenses have been meticulously tracked and split 3-ways via apps for two years. When we asked for a breakdown of what that money covers, she refused to provide one, calling our request "drama" and claiming it is "none of our business".

Replacement & Landlord Issues: She has been trying to manage the replacement process without being transparent with us or the owner. While the owner has expressed that her main priority is a seamless transition, our roommate has complicated the process by creating unnecessary friction.

Property Damage: She has caused damage to common property, such as the gate, and instead of taking responsibility, she has denied her actions.

Boundary Violations & Hypocrisy: She frequently brings her boyfriend over daily despite us repeatedly stating we are not comfortable with it. She dismissed our discomfort by claiming he "stays in her room only," yet he has been caught eating from our shared groceries. This is the same person who refused to let us host a small party because she claimed she was "not comfortable" with guests.

Weaponized Deflection: Whenever we try to have a mature conversation about house security or these boundaries, she pivots to irrelevant topics, like a flatmate’s decision to use a private appliance for their own food. She equates our legitimate security concerns with her own personal dietary preferences to avoid accountability.

The Victim Card: She has started claiming she is being "tortured" and having a "mental breakdown" whenever we hold her to the standards we all agreed upon. It feels like she’s using her emotions to bypass the fact that she has been acting entitled and disrespectful of our shared space.

The Hypocrisy of Cleanliness: She would frequently lecture us if we left a single dish in the sink, yet on weekends, she would cook with her boyfriend in our shared kitchen and leave a massive pile of dirty dishes for us to deal with. This is the same person who made it her mission to point out whenever anyone else forgot to wash a dish immediately.

We feel like we have been the "responsible anchors" for two years, and now that we are finally standing our ground, she is acting like we are the villains. Am I crazy for thinking this is an attempt to exploit us before she leaves, or is this just how some people handle conflict? How do I get through these final days without losing my sanity?

I (along with my other flatmate) have been living with our roommate for two years. We have always been accommodating, even changing our own dietary habits such as avoiding onions and garlic to make her comfortable. But now that she’s moving out, the dynamic has turned toxic.

The situation:

Financial Exploitation: On her way out, she is demanding a significant "setup fee" from the incoming tenant. The flat is fully furnished by the owner, and all our shared household expenses have been meticulously tracked and split 3-ways via apps for two years. When we asked for a breakdown of what that money covers, she refused to provide one, calling our request "drama" and claiming it is "none of our business".

Replacement & Landlord Issues: She has been trying to manage the replacement process without being transparent with us or the owner. While the owner has expressed that her main priority is a seamless transition, our roommate has complicated the process by creating unnecessary friction.

Property Damage: She has caused damage to common property, such as the gate, and instead of taking responsibility, she has denied her actions.

Boundary Violations & Hypocrisy: She frequently brings her boyfriend over daily despite us repeatedly stating we are not comfortable with it. She dismissed our discomfort by claiming he "stays in her room only," yet he has been caught eating from our shared groceries. This is the same person who refused to let us host a small party because she claimed she was "not comfortable" with guests.

Weaponized Deflection: Whenever we try to have a mature conversation about house security or these boundaries, she pivots to irrelevant topics, like a flatmate’s decision to use a private appliance for their own food. She equates our legitimate security concerns with her own personal dietary preferences to avoid accountability.

The Victim Card: She has started claiming she is being "tortured" and having a "mental breakdown" whenever we hold her to the standards we all agreed upon. It feels like she’s using her emotions to bypass the fact that she has been acting entitled and disrespectful of our shared space.

The Hypocrisy of Cleanliness: She would frequently lecture us if we left a single dish in the sink, yet on weekends, she would cook with her boyfriend in our shared kitchen and leave a massive pile of dirty dishes for us to deal with. This is the same person who made it her mission to point out whenever anyone else forgot to wash a dish immediately.

We feel like we have been the "responsible anchors" for two years, and now that we are finally standing our ground, she is acting like we are the villains. Am I crazy for thinking this is an attempt to exploit us before she leaves, or is this just how some people handle conflict? How do I get through these final days without losing my sanity?