u/True_Pangolin_2509

He's 9. AuDHD. Medicated, in therapy and OT.

He has the worst rejection sensitivity that's on a hair trigger. It makes even the tiniest correction into a huge deal and makes having productive conversations about his behavior nearly impossible.

Earlier he wanted me to play a video game that I really hate. I already played an hour of it with him earlier today. My daughter was coming home from the mall soon and I wanted to be upstairs to tell fill her in on plans for tomorrow morning, not stuck in the basement playing a game I don't even enjoy.

As always, he keeps asking and asking and asking. I am really troubled by his refusal to take no for an answer and his tendency to try to wear me down by asking over and over. I never reward that behavior by saying yes, and he will get in trouble by continuing to do it but still he keeps doing it. Today he blew up at me and threatened to not play with me anymore .

My daughter bought some awful brain rot squishie thing at the mall today that she was pretty thrilled with. Showed it to her brother because she knew he'd get a kick out of it too. He wouldn't give it back so she chased him around and wrestled him for it. Unsurprisingly the thing got ripped up in the process and she was upset about it. Son's takeaway from the ordeal? "It's her fault for buying it!"

Tried to tell him calmly that no, the squishy ripped because he wouldn't give it back and how that must feel for sister. Nope, yelled over me, ran away and slammed the door, again telling me that he was never going to play with me again.

5 minutes he comes back, telling me that he's calmed down. I was hoping to have a better conversation about his behavior but he launched right into asking me to play that damned game again. I told him what the time was (time to get ready for bed) and he exploded again.

I don't know how to instill any sense of empathy or responsibility for his own actions when his immediate reaction is always to yell, run away, and blame everything on anyone but himself.

Update: Son broke his favorite water bottle doing something I've told him not to do so now it's after his bedtime and we're on the 4th fucking meltdown in 2 hours. Fml

The weather sucks. Storms most mornings the last week or two. Hot AF on dry days. The kids, especially my teen daughter, have had so many appointments I have to take them. The 9 y/o hasn't wanted to go anywhere all month. I get deeply depressed this time of year so it's hard to get the motivation to drag him somewhere, fight the crowds and shell out money just for him to want to go home after a half an hour.

Yes he's getting way too much screen time. But in less than two weeks we'll be back to fighting son every morning to get ready and leave for school. I'll be dealing with his meltdowns every afternoon between running him to his various therapies after school.

My mom says to just let him veg and I'm inclined to agree. Could do without the judgement and guilt trips from my husband

My husband has been flex wfh long-term and it has been an issue one way or another my 9 year old son's entire life. I had to give up on naps early because because my son is and has always been a loud cryer so any resistance to naps would result in my husband bitching about the noise (he has always had his own office with a locking door in the basement but I guess it was still too noisy for him) . I couldn't ignore the toddler tantrums like I could with my oldest because it would piss off my husband. Even my son playing is too much noise. So yeah, 9 years of walking on eggshells in our own house because husband won't wear fucking noise canceling headphones.

My desktop computer is in the office. Recently son has gotten obsessed with a game that he can only play on that. Husband is usually fine with him playing as long as he doesn't have meetings, which is usually most of the day unfortunately. But son asked not long ago if he could go play the game. Husband had literally just headed back downstairs so I told son to talk with dad and work out a time when he can play today. It seemed perfectly reasonable to me.

Husband comes up with his work laptop all grumpy. Says he doesn't have meetings right now but he can't possibly concentrate with son down there. Mind you son is using my headphones so there's no noise from the game.

It's been a long day. He already took son's YouTube privileges away first thing this morning. The weather is too crappy to do anything even if our day wasnt taken over by multiple appointments. I have to take my daughter downtown for an appointment at the hospital soon and no I am NOT dragging son along. So good luck with that I guess.

I had already gotten a good gaming laptop for me because I got sick of being so limited in when I can use it. If school wasn't so close to starting back up I'd be getting him a computer desk to put in the living room, which my husband would hate because it'll clutter up the place. But what else I am supposed to do when the office is off limits 90% of the day.

Just so annoyed by the situation. My daughter has lots of medical issues so in one way it's nice to have him home so son can stay home but in so many ways it sucks.

My 9 year old has ADHD and is on a wait-list for an autism evaluation. All his life he goes through phases of being hyperfixated on something and that's where all his energy goes. It lasts anywhere from a couple of weeks to several months or more. And then he'll get into something else and the cycle repeats.

What I've noticed is that long after he's moved onto something else, he'll eventually return to past special interests. Sometimes it'll take years but he will eventually get back to it. He'll go from trains to monster trucks to legos to Wall-E to Princess and the Frog to Goo Jitsu toys to Mine Craft to Goat Simulator to Inside Out and just kind of cycle through that list over time (not necessarily in that order though).

Other than not being able to get rid of *any* toys ever, it's not a big deal or anything. I was just wondering if that's how special interests work? My other kid didn't do this and I've never heard any parent say "Looks Johnny is obsessed over horses again so I need to go dig out all the horse figurines from the deepest darkest crevices of the basement"

Mind you I have *never* been a big talker our entire relationship. I was non verbal until I was 4 and have never been good at pulling words out of my brain and through my mouth and it was been a great source of difficulty, anxiety and embarrassment for me my whole life. So I don't know what he expects.

Recently he gets upset if neither me or the kids fail to answer or reply immediately to him even though he does nothing to make sure we're ready to listen in the first place (such as when our attention is already occupied. My kids and I all have ADHD and possibly autism so we might be oblivious when hyper fixated and in my case I hate being interrupted because it's so hard to focus in the first place let alone get re-focused after distraction). Also me and the kids have slow processing speed and he doesn't accommodate for that.

Anyway he got all upset and says he feels alone just now because he said something that I thought was just a comment and not anything that required a give and take discussion so I didn't give much more than a "yep". It was about something that I have really big feelings about and if I show any emotion, particularly the angry type, he shuts me down because I'm being "too emotional" and "need to calm down" even when I feel like I'm being pretty calm. And the rest of the time I try to talk he doesn't even fucking hear me or remember the conversation so I don't know why he's acting like this is a just him problem.

Also he just talks *too* much sometimes. Especially when there is conflict between him and me or him and my son. He just talks on and on and *on*. And I feel like nothing we say satisfies him so he just keeps going. It's especially frustrating when my son is dysregulated because throwing a bunch of words at him is exactly what he shouldn't be doing and we've had so many arguments over that. And I've realized I'm the same way. I get dysregulated and I need space and time to think, not a lecture and certainly don't need pressure put on me to "just" talk.

Anyway not sure what I'm looking for here just feeling super pissed off and needing to yell into the void.

Tldr: please assuage my mom guilt about sending my 9 year old to camp this week

Background: our summers are 12 fucking weeks long here. My son is severely ADHD and strongly suspected to be autistic as well. Husband is wfh and it feels like he and son are always fighting and getting on each other's nerves. I try to keep him busy but he's getting more and more resistant to leaving the house. I'm getting worse at restricting screen time because summer is just so long and relentless and I can't keep up the fight anymore.

Anyway I signed up and paid for 3 sperate weeks of camp over the month that is geared towards kids with special needs. They do classic camp stuff like swimming and horseback riding and archery and wall climbing but they also don't force him to do stuff he doesn't want to do. They are comfortable with giving him his medicine and it seems like a nice place.

My son has given me so much guilt over this last week. Whining about not wanting to go. But I know he just wants to sit home and watch YouTube and play video games all day. And I already paid and we all know how much summer camp costs these days. And most selfishly *I need the fucking break*.

I just dropped him off and just feel bad. I wish I could get a break without having to feel shitty about it.

I've always kept my kids busy over the summer. Camps and fun outings. I've basically spent whole summers in various pools over the years.

Now my youngest is 9 and he seems to not be as interested in doing things outside the house. We've gotten memberships to a local amusement/water park last year and this year and already this year he's not as interested in going and I can't ever get teen to go because she won't get out of bed before noon and even if I can get her out of bed she'll have a migraine or nausea or some other ailment.

There's a nearby trampoline park he used to love until they changed the color of the mats and now he refuses to go. He won't go to his former favorite pool because kids have to redo the swim test every year to do the best slides and even though he could easily pass it he refuses to do it. We have a great camp that can actually deal with his ADHD/autism but he doesn't want to do that either and refuses to do the fun activities they offer (swimming, archery, horse riding, wall climbing, etc).

Other parents of kids his age are talking about how busy they are between their kids extracurricular activities and here I am busy between all his fucking therapy and his sisters medical shit. He does ukelele lessons that he refuses to practice for and an occasional after school Lego club but that's about it. Team sports are out of the question for him because of behavior issues. My teen went from being in a bunch of extras to nothing this upcoming year because her school can't be normal about anything and there's toxicity everywhere and every time a doctor asks about what she's in they act like it's the worst thing ever that she's not doing showchoir anymore. The mom guilt is real.

I was feeling okay about the summer. My son likes slower as does my teen nowadays. But my husband has been making a bunch of comments about how much time we are spending at home. We still do 1-2 outings a week but I don't know if that's enough. I'm just so over struggling to find a way to get us out the house, which sucks because doing so is important for my mood (I really hated going to the pool at first but discovered eventually it was really good for my mental health). It doesn't help that my husband wfh and even though we have a big house with a nice office with a closing door for him he still gets snippy any time my son gets noisy (whether it's loud angry sounds or loud happy sounds). It's so annoying because he has noise cancellation headphones he wears for gaming but apparently it's unreasonable to wear during work hours.

I dunno. Just feels bad

Every day my son is having some kind of emergency in which be freaks out and cries because he can't find a hyper specific toy. And it's always such a ballache trying to find said toy because we have a huge house and he has too many toys because I can't throw any toys away even baby toys (he remembers every single toy he's ever had and will at any random time decide he desperately needs it and melts down if we can't find it or it happens that I threw it away years ago). We talk every damned day about putting his toys away so he can find them next time but it never sinks in.

And of course he decides he desperately needs said toy whenever I'm about to leave or in the middle of making dinner. Today I'm in pain because I pulled a muscle yesterday so constantly bending over looking for the emergency toy du jour fucking hurts on top of the regular annoyance.

Just venting.

I've been experiencing some really gnarly burn out and depression this summer. I've been operating under burnout for a few years but since nothing changed and the things causing my burnout got worse so the burnout leveled up and I've barely been able to get out of bed and I cry when I wake up because it's another day and the same bullshit. My patience is gone and I get snippy at others. I haven't been the easiest person to live with recently.

For background:

My teenager has a lot of medical issues over the years. Vague ones that bother her on a daily basis but never easy to get to the bottom of or to treat. She has 8 specialists, two which were newly added to the rotation this summer and that seemed to be tbe catalyst that broke me. I'm overwhelmed with the appointments, procedures, managing medications. No one cares and if I ever try to talk about it to people they try to discourage me from continuing her medical care which is not a reasonable or responsible option to me. She's been dealing with a lot this summer emotionally because her long term boyfriend moved very far away and while he was popular she was not. Her social circle has dried up since he left and she's spent all summer at home alone.

My 9 year old has severe ADHD and is strongly suspected of having autism which wasn't super obvious before now because the ADHD muddied the waters quite a bit. Currently on a long wait-list for an evaluation. I'm not very convinced the diagnosis will open that many doors for him anyway. Meanwhile he has significant behavior issues and trouble with emotional regulation. School last year was really hard and even though I'm struggling with him this summer I'm badly dreading school starting back up and dealing with everything involved in that (iykyk).

Ive been beaten down over the years. I feel like the robot in Wild Robot who gives everything to help that little goose grow up and is extremely wrecked up by the end of the movie. No one cares.

Husband has been on my case all summer about my mood. Yet when I try to open up he shames me. But then gets mad at me for not opening up the next time he's on my case. He makes a big deal about wanting to help but when I ask him to do something (unload the dishwasher every day, help keep clutter off the counters because that triggers my bad moods more than anything, take teen to the store because she asked me but I don't have a chance to take her,.etc) He'll do a recurring task for a little bit and then stop. Or say he'll take teen somewhere but doesn't because I didn't arrange every single detail because stupid me thought they would fucking talk to each other about it instead of relying on me to arrange the entire thing.

It happens to really really really upset me when someone says they will do something and then there's no follow through. So I've stopped asking because I can't stand the disappointment.

Anyway I was doing better the last couple of weeks because the stars aligned and I finally got some alone time *in my own house*. But husband never seemed to notice or ask what helped.

Yesterday I got extremely dysregulated over something stupid. . He gets mad because he "just wants to be happy" but "everyone else is miserable". He got on my case. about my mood again and wanted to know what he can do about it. No acknowledgement whatsoever about how I had been doing better. Despite my better judgement I opened up about how I 've been struggling this summer with the kids, the endless heat, and how I'm worried about school starting up in a month.

His response? "I don't want to hear about what's wrong. I want to know what to do.".

I asked him how the fuck can he help me if he doesn't know what's wrong? Turns out he just wants me to tell him what to do without partaking in any of the emotional or mental load of figuring it out himself and then being reminded and nagged into actually doing it. He's already told me he can't take teen to her appointments, which is the thing that would help me most. And he won't keep up with things he said he'd do. The very least he can do is listen to me when I want to talk about how I'm struggling. But even that is too much ask apparently.

He's convinced that me venting "doesn't help" because it's apparently unreasonable for me get emotional about things that make me emotional. I just want *someone* to talk to but I got no one. No one in my life wants to hear it. And it really stings because I will listen to everyone else and their problems but they won't do that for me. Even husband will vent to me about stuff with no sense of self reflection that he's doing the thing that's apparently unacceptable for me to do but fine for him.

I don't even fucking know y'all. This post has gotten way too long. I've tried to join online support groups but they are always inactive or I get no responses when I post about burnout because I assume everyone is experiencing it. So I'm just stuck in my head alone with no one who will listen.

I need alone time. Lots of alone time. Or I go into burnout and depression. My husband should know this about me because that's the way I've always been and we've had so many discussions about it.

Anyway I'm struggling because it's summer and my alone time is just gone for 12 weeks. Our house is an open floor plan so there are no little knooks and cranies I can get a little peace in. It feels like I'm always on display snd everyone is always needing something from me and I can't find any quiet and solitude anywhere.

Today my son is at Grandma's and my teen has a friend over so I'm hiding in the basement, which has been completely fucked by my son and it's absolutely covered in toys. I'm cleaning up the basement at a leisurely pace and taking plenty of breaks to zone out on my phone and eat snacks. I'm pretty happy with the arrangement.

Well my husband, who could have been picking up this basement at any time this summer but as always waits until I'm in the middle of cleaning to do anything, decides he's going to help and I'm like noooo. He's talking to me, asking me questions, making noise with picking stuff up. And then watching me while I'm picking up, which I haaaaaate. I hate being watched while cleaning.

I'm patiently waiting for him to go away but he isn't. Instead he's staring at me seeing that I'm upset and asks what's wrong and I have to spell it out for him that I was enjoying being alone. He gets pissy and leaves.

I hate having to do this. Trying to state what I need while centering his feelings as many men require but just not having the mental bandwidth width and him getting hurt feelings despite how delicate I try to be about it. And the rest of my alone time is ruined by my guilty feelings. It's so defeating.

*Rhetorical question. Just Figured some of you can relate

So my teen wants to get evaluated for autism. Alright. Got a recommendation from her psychiatrist but have been too busy this week to really look into it. Finally I have a quiet moment alone in which I actually remember to get this ball rolling.

As soon as I get started on filling out the form to even send an initial request, which requires so much information, my youngest decides he's done independently playing. He asks if he can watch a video. I say yes with the foolish assumption this would buy me time.

I continue trying to fill out this form to send a message. Daughter comes in and needs help finding something.

I do that and return to forge on with my task. Youngest doesn't like that I'm looking at my phone and insists I watch the video.

I still try to fill out this form. Youngest wants to know how cold dry ice is. I don't know so I have to Google it. Then he wants to know how to make it. Then he wants to know if we can make it. We can't. This upsets him. He wants to know if we can buy it. And I'm like maybe but dry ice is dangerous. He doesn't like that answer either.

I try one last time to fill out a form to inquire about availability. Calling could be faster but who the fuck can find a quiet place to make a phone call?

Well dog is at the door and she wants me to know that she has to go out rightthisfuckingsecond .

I give up. Maybe next week.

My teenager went off on my husband and I because I made a flippant remark about how my mom, in her 70s, got a large breed puppy and I said "I cant believe "she did that to herself"--in a joking tone because my mom loves animals, especially dogs, and has way more animals than I could possibly imagine being able to take care of (she does a good job and makes it look easy though).

This puppy is going through the chew on everything/everyone with its sharp baby teeth phase and is well tall enough to reach almost everything it wants. I went through legit "post puppy" depression with our dog when it was a puppy and this dog is making me feel vindicated in not getting another puppy. I am proud of myself for recognizing my limitations and not over extending myself like I used to do.

Anyway, teenager went on and on about we are the abnormal ones for finding puppies too much to deal with and everyone else loves having puppies and they aren't that hard. (She and my mom talked us into getting a puppy years ago with daughter making grand promises that she would take complete care of it. Spoiler alert: husband and I do everything for the dog and have since day one). .

She is also always judging my parenting of her 9 year old AuDHD brother and always getting on his case and saying very mean things to him while trying to parent him. My husband was parentified as a kid and it messed him up so I've always been very purposeful in *not* treating her like a built in baby sitter or second mom. But now that she's older she thinks she knows better than I do and has no problem telling me as much.

Anyway, just feeling cranky and had to vent. She's my first teenager and I don't know if it's normal for teens to be so damned judgey.

*Honorary "YEAH AND IM ON A FUCKING BOAT" flair*.

Like many of you, if my kids were on fire and dad was in the room but I was across the house, they would yell for me and run across the house looking for me without so much as considering that maybe they could ask Dad to put the fire out.

Even though my oldest is 15, she still won't ask Dad for help ever.

Today she wanted me to take her to the craft store. I could have taken her nearly all day today, but she decided to wait to ask until it was nearly time for me to take my 9 year old out of town for a music lesson. And tomorrow my husband goes into the office so we'd have to drag the youngest along which he won't want to do.

But husband is wfh today and will be done soon. So I tell her I will let him know that she wants a ride to the craft store. So I do that and me and youngest head out. I am happy that I have one less task to do.

On the way home I get a text from husband saying that because I didn't tell daughter that he was going to take her, she wasn't ready and didn't want to go. So they didn't go.

Maybe I'm not being fair, but I'm just so livid over this. It doesn't help that taking son to lessons was a pain in the ass because he throw a ton of fits getting ready to go and in the car. But why do I have to do *all* the fucking legwork in this task. So because I didn't fucking go back and forth between them to arrange this trip to the store it didn't get done and now I'm expected to drive her to the store tomorrow *and* drag along the youngest who won't want to go. On top of dragging them to an appointment niether of them want to go to.

It really doesn't seem like much after typing it out. But I've been deeply depressed and extremely burned out for about a month. Like can't get out of bed depressed and crying at the thought of taking these kids to their unrelenting, endless appointments. Today and yesterday were the first days in a long time I felt more like myself and you know what fixed me? Husband took youngest to a birthday party and teen was out of the house. That's all. Just a few hours by myself in my home where no one is talking to me or needing me. But I'm already feeling drained because everything kid related falls on me.

Needing support

I've been low low *low* on energy the last three weeks since coming home from vacation. My burnout from years of parenting my youngest with AuDHD (and all the stressful school shit that comes with that) and the oldest with many hard to diagnose and hard to treat medical issues with little support went into overdrive upon our return and Ive barely been able to get out of bed. I've been struggling a lot trying to get back to baseline but my mental health keeps getting its shit kicked in day by day. But I've still managed to take kids to their appointments, keep food in the house,.take my youngest on some fun outings. But husband won't shut up about how I've been in a "bad mood" and not taking the kids out as much as I usually do.

Between the horrible heat (I am heat intolerant and it's been 90s every day for the last 3 weeks), allergies kicking my ass, and waking up with a migraine every day this week, I haven't felt terribly motivated to drag my AuDHD kid out much. STILL managed to take him on two fun outing this week along with appointments. But husband is still on my ass about keeping him home so much.

Anyway, on top of the heat and my exhaustion, the internet stopped working around noon. FML. Internet company can't get anyone here until tomorrow evening. This means wfh husband couldn't work and the youngest couldn't watch his videos.

So we gave the youngest some choices over what to do and he chose trampoline park. He was very excited to go. I was excited to get him some exercise.

No excercise was to be had. They had replaced the pads around the trampolines and instead of being his favorite color orange, the pads were now bright pink. This was a horrible surprise for my son. He struggles with very rigid thinking and nothing we said could sway him to give the trampolines a try. He wanted to go straight home.

After unsuccessfully trying to convince son to jump, my and my husband's strategies diverted. I wanted to be patient and just sit with son at the tables and watch the other kids having fun in hopes that son would want to join in before throwing jn the towel. Husband decided to throw punishments around ranging from "if you don't try anything we are going home and you are going straight to bed" to "if you don't try anything you are *never getting screen time again*". Which pissed me off because I fucking hate it when he throws out grand unsustainable punishments like that and turned the whole issue into a big fucking power struggle we didn't need. We have had so so SO many arguments and discussions about that over the years and he knows that I will veto shit like that and yet he still fucking does it.

So my husband and I are getting mad at each other and arguing in this fucking place and arguing with son on the side. It got to the point where I just wanted to scrap the whole thing and go home but husband was escalating punishments.

At one point he said "I can't do nothing. He *has* to have a punishment. I have to do something".

To which I just said "No, actually, you don't *have* to punish him over this."

Then I bribed son with a slushie, which I tried earlier but it didn't work. This time son took me right up on the offer, I think ultimately to spite his dad. He did a thing once and then after husband tried to pressure him into doing more without success and finally we got the damned slushie and went home.

Another thing that bothered me is that husband didn't want to follow my slow patient strategy was because he didn't want to "waste his time being bored in a kid place". FUCKING EXCUSE ME? I have spent at least a quarter of the last 15 years being bored out of my mind doing kid shit and you can't spend one afternoon--when our Internet is fucking out--being bored in a kid place. It's fine for *me* to be doing boring kid stuff but he thinks he's above that? FUCK OFF

He recently turned 9 and he's just miserable all the time for the last few months. Haven't seen him smile in weeks. He's always been a very challenging kid but he had a lot of sweet moments that made the hard moments easier to get through. Not anymore. He's always in a sour mood. Unhappy at the water park or pool. Unhappy playing with his toys. Unhappy watching movies or playing video games. Always flying into a rage without warning. My nervous system is shot. I'm fucking miserable.

*He is AuDHD. On meds. In therapy and OT. Have an appointment with his psychiatrist next week and will discuss whether his meds need changed up.

My son has ukelele lessons this evening. The first lesson since he took a break in May since we've been busy all summer. He's also been kind of burned out and I was hoping s break would help. I wanted to make this a smooth transition.

But my kids went to my mom's house this weekend. Which was fine. Except they wanted to stay another night last night. I reminded them that son has ukelele at 5, which didn't seem like an issue. I figured by noon or early afternoon at the latest they would be sick of being there and would come back.

Now it's looking like my son will be dropped off at the last minute. He probably hasn't even been reminded that he has ukelele today. He will get home wanting to do the things he does at home but instead will be hauled out of town for the lesson. He is AuDHD and under medicated (he had his morning dose but not his booster). Probably will not have been fed. His tablet likely hasn't been plugged in since Friday so the drive will be miserable.

I really should cancel the damn lesson because it has disaster written all over it. I just hate to flake out last minute. His teacher has already been way more flexible than she needs to be by not charging us for June. I just hate to take advantage.

I'm just so annoyed that the afternoon is being tripped up like this. Every summer my mom wants to take him during the week instead of weekend but my son alone has therapy, speech therapy, OT and there are usually other appointments like dentist and eye doctor and well child in addition to my older kids endless appointments that it makes grandma taking the kids during the week not a good option. My point is being proven but it's me and my son paying the price now.

Extra Bitching: and now I just realized that the protein muffins I make to have on hand for my son's breakfast (and for a snack on the way to ukelele so he doesn't get hangry) got left in the oven and ruined because my husband came up from his office to take over and distract me so I didn't get the timer set right. Fucking hell

Because the lack of alone time. I haven't had the house to myself since May with the kids out of school and I won't until the last week of August. My husband wfh all but two days of the week. The stars never quite align where everyone but me is gone and likely won't until school is back in session.

It's annoying because I'm pretty depressed and burned out for other reasons but the lack of alone time isn't helping. I am a solitary creature who needs a lot of time to myself where I am not being perceived or interrupted or have someone demanding my attention. This should not be news to my husband because we've had to have this conversation many times over the years and yet he seems to forget and acts concerned and surprised that I'm not thrilled when he follows me from room to room while I'm desperately trying to get some space.

The kids have been with grandparents this weekend but husband has been up my ass this whole time, made worse by the fact that his friend he online games with is on vacation. Which is so annoying because there's been many weekends/evenings when I'm overwhelmed and desperately need help with the kids and instead husband is gaming. But the weekend where the kids are gone ofc the friend is busy so I don't even get alone time while he games.

Anyway just needed to bitch about that bullshit.

It's been solid upper 80s and 90s with 1000% humidity for well over two weeks and I just looked at the ten day hoping to see a reprieve to look forward to but it's solid mid 90s throughout. This shit makes even makes the pool unpleasant. And yet the main things to do are outside as though summers haven't been unbearably hot here for the last 20 years. My teen got heat exhaustion when I tried to take her and her brother to the carnival the other day. Fuck this fucking heat.

Every time I get overwhelmed I get blamed for not asking for help. But when I asked he's a pain in the ass about it.

Like it's been a hard week for me. I'm dealing with bad depression and medical burn out with my teen's health issues. I've been upfront about that.

My youngest had camp this week so Ive been dropping him off and picking him up every day. Meanwhile my teen had multiple medical appointments. And I've been trying to get the house cleaned for company this weekend but I've been too depressed to do much of that and what I do get done is quickly undone. Today I was at the hospital with my teen for her pulmonary stress test for 3 hours plus driving to/from. I asked husband yesterday if he could pick up son because I said I would be too sick of driving around and he said sure.

We get back from the hospital right before i'd need to leave to get son. Husband asks "do I still need to do pick up".

Omg YES. Its hard enough for me to ask for help without effectively having to ask multiple times because he wants to be "sure" that I "still" want his help. Teen points out that I'm tired from all the driving and just being at the hospital for so long.

Husband says that it's not that bad and I probably just scrolled on my phone the whole time.

Bromos, I literally broke down crying in front of him two weeks ago because I was overwhelmed with the medical stuff. I literally had a breakdown in front of him on Monday because my son was having some concerning symptoms and literally have zero capacity for another chronic medical issue in this house. I feel like I'm being very clear and obvious that I'm burned out and need support. Where the fuck did his brains go that made him think it was okay to say something like that.

He's taken a kid to a medical appointment once in several years and the doctor was over an hour late so I got guilt tripped and he will refuse to do any more appointments but me being at the hospital all afternoon is no big deal. Fuck off.

Every day I clean it and hours later it looks like it's never been cleaned in its existence. And it's an open floor plan so it's right in the middle of everything ruining my peace. It doesn't matter when or what else needs done, the kitchen always needs cleaned. There are always dirty dishes and yet the dishwasher always seems to have a clean load needing put away before anything else can be done.

Fuck kitchens.