u/TsWonderBoobs

My husband and I visit Destin twice a year. Once with our kids and once as adults. Looking to buy in the next 18 months on the beach (even outside of Destin either way) to visit (not rent out), and move there permanently in five years. Husband served in Pensacola for years and misses it. We’ve found some amazing places that mostly locals visit and get along great with them, a few peeps we meet with when we come on our adults only trip. Love just sitting and talking to bartenders, our beach service guys at the condo we stay in every year, and make friends with all.

With that said, can you offer some places that are dive locals only? Bars or restaurants. We aren’t there to get drunk, have a drink or two, eat, at like 1p. Chat it up. That’s it.

Please don’t rip me a new a$$hole for asking. Just trying to feel out everything. Meeting with a realtor to discuss in October! Be there in a short 27 days with our teens. We aren’t the typical Destin asshat tourists. We generally love it down there and are respectful. We know May-Sept and holidays suck for Destin and the locals. We feel you!

Okay so… I’m confused. Our assignment says we have to make a PowerPoint, record ourselves presenting it, and then “upload it to a shared URL link and provide the link” as my assignment. And I’m sitting here like… where exactly am I supposed to upload this? I don’t upload anything to anything shared ever in my life. It’s not like I’m giving him access to my personal OneDrive. So what “shared URL link space” am I supposed to be using to turn this in. Because right now I’m lost. 😞

I’ve been a Project Manager for 17 years. I finally got my PMP recently and immediately landed a great Project Lead role within my company. They knew I didn’t have a background in finance or deep technical systems, but they put me on the biggest project anyway.

Now I’m drowning.

Historically, I’ve managed medical platform projects. I know healthcare insurance billing, vendor fees, and patient data inside out. But my brain is not technical, and it is definitely not analytical. I excel at process efficiency, workflow improvement, spotting risks, and tracking cross-dependencies. I see the big picture and the patterns.

Right now, we are consolidating about six different HR, payroll, and financial platforms into one massive system. I am completely unfamiliar with the financial verbiage. I am struggling so hard. I’m doing everything I can to skill up, watching platform videos, and studying definitions in my spare time (all things they’ve suggested and links sent to me on content). I’m just exhausted.

The crazy thing is my work feedback is actually great. I constantly ask what I can do better. The only critique I get is that I need to understand the content more. I am trying so hard, but it’s just not clicking the way my old industry did. It makes me feel like a failure.

Would a shift into Change Management be a better path forward? It feels like it might give me a wider career span while letting me focus on my strengths like process improvement, without the heavy technical or financial tech requirements. But will it be taken or by AI too? Or should I just hop out of project management altogether?

I have about 12 years left until retirement. With the rise of AI, I honestly worry that average project management and change management roles will be phased out before I get there.

I’m just stuck. I want to be the best at what I do, but right now, my brain is setting me up to feel like a failure.

I’m tired, boss.

I don’t hate the people as people. I hate the way work. The way they run projects. The way they dismiss clients and their questions. The way they rush clients through workshops, decisions, requirements. The way they expect us to know what they fuck they are thinking and only communicating pieces and expect us to put the puzzle together. They way they don’t look ahead at a project anymore than two weeks in advance. The way they don’t reply to fucking emails on time, but then it’s our fault when the deadline comes up- when they didn’t reply. There is no accountability at Accenture and it’s fucking obvious.

Backstory:
My bonus girl is my world. I’ll do anything for her, except buy her whatever she wants. I’m not about that life. I don’t live that way, and hubs doesn’t either.
We are very much a capsule wardrobe couple. We have name brand clothes, but we make sure it’s quality stuff we will wear forever. We don’t care about trends at all. Our house is on track to buy a second home on the beach and retire early. Like, way earlier than average. (To clarify-I don’t have my own bio kids because God didn’t allow it.)

Meanwhile, mom’s house is broke. She can’t even pay the taxes on her vehicles to get her plates renewed, but she’s constantly buying kiddo whatever she wants, including name brands. Great. My husband pays her $700 a month (even with 50/50) to do that.

We spend money on actual experiences and trips with kiddo. Her mom gives her name brands and temporary bullshit. That’s the difference in our homes.

Mind you, we just spent a shit ton of money this weekend on other things for her. It's not like she's deprived. But kid still needs clothes, and she brings everything back and forth between her mom’s house and our house. We don’t make her do that, that’s entirely her choice, but it means she has access to her full wardrobe all the time.

So today kiddo sends me a link to a shirt from American Eagle for $20.

I do the quick math and say, "Ok well, $20 plus $9 shipping plus $4 taxes is $33. But hey, I found one on Amazon for $8.99 that looks exactly like it."
I send her the link and ask if she wants that one instead.

Her response? "No, you can tell they're fake dupes."

Oh, okay. Excuse me.

So I told her, "Look, you have a $250 credit with us right now. I will gladly order you this American Eagle shirt if you want to take the $33 out of your credit."

And... radio silence. She didn't reply.

She knows our boundaries. She is fully aware of how this works. She will gladly spend OUR money like it’s a limitless waterfall, but the second you dare suggest she use her own money to get exactly what she wants, suddenly I’m the meanest person on the planet.

So Reddit, help me out here. Do I just wait it out, see if she replies, and make her actually make the choice to use her credit? Or do I just drop it entirely and assume that since she didn't reply, she obviously didn't want the shirt that bad?

Are my husband & I the asshole here for standing our ground over thirty bucks (we just spent a ton this weekend, it’s summer, no one is even going to see her in these clothes!).

I am 45 (next week). Late diagnosed with AuDHD.

I started HRT in November 2024. My life got better.

September 2025 my life spiraled out of control (mainly at work) and I took FMLA. The stress of calendars, pleasing stakeholders,and all the corporate and its jargon just got too much (project manager for 17 years).

I was diagnosed November 2025 with AuDHD.

Trialed Ritalin, Adderall. Settled on Vyvanse 10mg. My brain is quiet on V. But my anxiety peaked, it did on all the meds, but I wanted to try to deal.

Started back to work at a new role. Struggled with executive dysfunction.

Added Buspirone for anxiety and to help executive dysfunction.. Works ok.

Now I’m having a ton of emotional dis regulation issues at work when things change- and it’s flipping constant anymore. Psychiatrist says it’s because ADHD is calm and now the ASD is at peak and ASD doesn’t like change. Before the ADHD did, but ADHD was louder.

Now dr added Clonadine for emotional dis regulation.

Let’s just keep adding meds… is that how this works?

And I’ve gained weight back and have changed nothing about my eating habits and still work out regularly. Thanks to Reddit, I think it’s the Buspirone. I’m only 4’11” and gaining 5lbs on me is like 10lbs on a 5’5” person. Buspirone isn’t supposed to cause weight gain, but seems a lot of us experience it. So I cut it down to 1x a day this week.

I’m still on HRT and it’s changed as needed/how I’ve felt. Helps a bit and then slows down again.

I’m just so frustrated… I don’t want to keep adding meds. I’m working on DBT and CBT. But I am really just thinking of stopping all meds completely. I’ve had the GeneSight done. We haven’t tried non stims cause it shows it won’t work. And I am slow COMT.

Has anyone just stopped meds. And /or started natural supplements? I’ve read a lot about natural stuff.

I mean… I’m not sure the things I’m experiencing now are really that different from what I experienced before I went on FMLA and got diagnosed. Only now I’m on meds.

Now I’m crying as I type this cause I am so lost. Damn perimenopause.

Thanks if you made it this far…

I’ve been an official Project Lead for about four months now. I’m a certified PMP and I’ve been doing project management of some sort for 17 years. On paper, I should have this handled.

But I’m struggling. Hard.

The role I landed is nothing like what I expected. They want me to facilitate high-level technical conversations, but I have no idea what these people are even talking about.

In every previous PM or Lead role I’ve had, I was already the Subject Matter Expert (SME) on what I was leading. I was the one moving things forward, building processes, implementing software, and creating efficiencies because I actually understood the work. Now, I’ve been thrown into a massive software implementation—consolidating seven manual legacy systems into a streamlined Oracle environment—and I have zero knowledge of how the old systems work or how Oracle is supposed to function here.

I’m basically becoming a note-taker assigning black-and-white action items. I don’t understand the dependencies, I don’t know why "Person A" needs to talk to "Person B," and I don’t know why I’m even assigning the tasks I’m writing down. I’m just lost.

To make it worse, there was zero onboarding. There’s no documentation. Everything is just stored in the heads of the people in the meetings, and nobody has the time to sit down and teach me.

I’m starting to feel like a major failure. How am I supposed to lead and facilitate when I don't understand the content? How do you learn this stuff on the fly when you're already expected to be the one in charge?

When I mentioned it to one of the main stakeholders that I’m working with, they asked how I’ve been a project lead in the past if I’ve never understood how to facilitate meetings that I don’t understand the content. When I said, I’ve always been an SME. They claimed that that’s not project management. And I said “well, I’m understanding that every place believes project management work is different depending on where you work.” And he’s like well even if you got moved to a different project off of this one, how are you gonna learn that information if you’re not gonna be a subject matter expert there either. So they’re making me feel worse.

Has anyone else transitioned from being an SME-PM to a "blind" PM? How do you facilitate a conversation when you don't even know what questions to ask?
Any fake it till you make it questions to make it sound like I know what the fuck I’m doing?