u/TsundereCinnamonRoll

my school said they re-sent my final completed transcript (the first time was incomplete) through parchment and my counselor says the school has received it, but my applicant portal says it’s still not received. i heard that i’ll be put on admission hold which means i can’t register for classes during spop, and im also worried that my admission will be cancelled or something.

is anyone else dealing with this or know what to do? i’ve emailed UCI through the counselor contact form, admissions email directly, i’ve called my high school etc but I think all I can do is wait rn.

i’ve been struggling to label what my sexuality is ever since middle school. i’m not sure if i’m bisexual, lesbian, or straight but just wanting to seek attention/be unique. i’ve seen the lesbian master doc thing (comphet), ive done so many of those lgbtq quizzes lmao, and i had a bf before (just broke up actually, but unrelated w lgbtq). when im attracted to guys, i usually like k-idols or celebrities, but if i like a guy who isnt a celebrity, i usually like his personality enough to be more than friends. otherwise, it usually just stays as a crush bc i find him physically attractive.

with girls, i usually don’t like celebrities and instead prefer girls who are around me, like at school. i find them to all be relatively physically attractive (more than the guys at my school) and if i had a crush on them, it’s bc of their personalities as well as their physical attractiveness (but personality first). for example, ive had a long time crush on my best friend for many years (not friends anymore) and i felt super close to her, which made me have a crush and eventually really like her. another girl crush i had was with a girl who wasn’t conventionally attractive but she was so intelligent and well spoken/charming that i got a crush.

with guys, i also don’t like body hair such as armpit hair or mustaches/beards, like i don’t like hair anywhere except for their head, and don’t really like it when they have thick leg hair. i feel like this is bc im also attracted to women physically as well, and usually women shave these areas/have less hair.

one more thing is that im kinda scared im just being attention seeking or wanting to be unique/not straight, but i actually am. however, the idea of being with a girl also makes me scared/uncomfortable if it comes to sex/kissing. hugs and casual contact make me feel excited though. also, it just feels kinda weird when i see straight people kiss, and ive never really liked watching people kiss anyway but especially straight people for some reason. i feel like im being a poser and not actually anything queer, and i really don’t want to be that for some reason; i don’t want to be straight but im also hesitant about kissing/sex with girls. i also find that i want guys to like me more than i want girls to like me (male validation)? but yea someone pls just tell me what i am im begging

(18 F) what can i do with my mom if setting boundaries is hard bc i live in her house? i really don’t know why my mom has all these weird rules. i asked if she can drive my friend as well (to the mall) and i said she doesn’t have to. she said it was fine but i’m not allowed to sit in the backseat with my friend bc she doesn’t want to “feel like a taxi driver” but i feel like it’s rude to my friend if i don’t sit with her in the back. isn’t it normal to sit with your friends in the car anyway?

she keeps on saying “i’m your mom not your taxi driver” and i think she thinks i’m using her as a personal butler maybe? but that’s just bc i don’t have my license yet which im sorry, i should’ve gotten it sooner. but why does my car seat matter when im with a friend? i think she wants to have more of a mother daughter relationship but the way she is doing it is making me push her FURTHER away. it’s like if she can’t have the ideal relationship with me peacefully, she will do literally anything to get it, even if it’s not in a peaceful way/even if it’s super controlling. and she has always been like this over other things.

i don’t think she will ever change but i’m just so curious as to why she is like this, every single time. it’s not like i’m being rude about it either bc i say bye and thank you like she wants me to, even if i don’t particularly feel grateful. in almost every scenario that is outside of our normal daily routine, i have to ask her in a super nice way, almost as if i’m begging her and she’s the queen, and i have to provide good reasons for why i want to do x and y. i feel like she wants control over me, and also wants to have a closer mother daughter relationship but as i said, she is doing it in such a negative way that it’s pushing me further away from her bc i genuinely cannot stand it. i am 18 and going to college soon, and she is still annoyed that i’m moving to a different state instead of staying near her. when me and my brother were kids, she wouldn’t allow us to touch the interior walls of our house bc our “hands would damage the paint from our natural oils”, but our hands were clean/washed and the paint was dry. she wouldn’t allow us to sit with our knees on chairs and told us to sit gently on the couch as to not wrinkle or damage it. she would yell at us if we dropped our backpacks in the backseat a little too heavily, we had to place it gently.

even now, she won’t drive me to school, potentially making me late, if i don’t finish my breakfast, and still gets annoyed when i finish eating in 2 minutes. why is she never on my side? for example, my dad cares about none of these things (they’ve been divorced for 11 yrs). he doesn’t complain if i don’t finish breakfast bc he understands that being late to school is worse. he doesn’t care about the interior walls of the house and says that things are meant to be used, etc. he is happy to drive me and my friends, and doesn’t care in the slightest about where i sit. i just wonder why my mom is so controlling about all of these little things. it’s not like she becomes inferior(?) if i just wanna sit in the backseat with my friend. anyway, sorry for this long post.