u/Turbulent_Award_4611

Hey everyone. So basically, I got a concussion that worsened my APD. Hearing and TBI are two of my biggest fears (I’ve had some pretty unpleasant hits to the head before, but nothing ever happened). I was working harvesting cherries, and while moving a ladder I hit the back of my head. It really wasn’t a serious hit at all. I immediately checked my awareness and balance, and everything seemed fine. I kept talking with my coworkers and continued working on the ladder. For some reason I felt like my hearing had changed, but many people with our disorder will understand why that feeling alone can’t really be trusted.

That evening I had strong dizziness without a headache, but I had actually been experiencing dizziness for several days before the incident whenever I came home (possibly because of pesticides or the heat). A couple of days later I was working with my father while he was using power tools. It was insanely loud for me. I know the risks, so I covered my ears with my fingers whenever I could. When I couldn’t, it felt pretty bad, and I moved as far away as possible whenever I had the chance to reduce the pressure. My father genuinely didn’t care at all about how loud the tools were.

Here’s a quick summary of what I noticed that made me realize something had actually happened to me: sound sensitivity, slight mistakes with finger movements, worse APD, dizziness that was stronger than usual, and poorer emotional control. I put two and two together and realized I probably did get some kind of concussion. I’ll say right away that the hit itself and the concussion don’t bother me that much. The impact wasn’t serious — it didn’t even leave soreness on my scalp. I was fully aware of how much force was involved and I wasn’t stunned at all (and this is coming from someone who is afraid of TBIs).

Right now my APD has gotten much worse. Like, I can literally fail to hear when someone is talking. My poor brain was already barely managing before this. If this had happened six months ago, I probably would have lost my mind over it. It was such a bad issue for me back then that I talked about suicide. Now I sometimes can’t hear when someone calls me from another room, conversations in groups have become harder, and it’s more difficult to follow speech if I’m not fully focused. Before, I could get distracted and still kind of remember what someone had said a few seconds earlier. There are also some small leftover issues. For example, today in a store I turned to look at some people, got distracted, and completely missed my mouth when trying to eat a chip — it fell on the floor 😭😂

As someone who has studied TBI-related topics, I’ll say that doctors usually can’t really do much for concussions anyway. If your symptoms are severe, they’ll do a CT or MRI mainly to make sure it’s actually a concussion and not a hemorrhage. And honestly, I still wouldn’t seek help in my country (I’m from a developing country). I just don’t want any medical record about this here.

I’ve learned how to do hearing tests at home. It obviously won’t be as reliable as testing with my doctor, but my results have always matched what my audiologist found before (and there’s no point going back to him now anyway — the specialists here are very inexperienced). So later I’ll probably be able to estimate whether my actual hearing changed or not.

Anyway, I’m just sharing my experience. If it weren’t for the APD and anxiety, I probably would’ve ignored all of this and never suspected anything. I’m actually writing this with more positivity than negativity right now. In a weird way, this has helped me rethink some of my fears and my outlook on life. I’ll update this post in a month or in a few weeks to say how things are going.

19M. It’s 4 a.m. right now and I won’t be able to fall asleep. I felt a dent on the top of my head and started thinking that it might be from a beam I hit my head on while doing pull-ups a couple of years ago. I started blaming myself and panicking. I began googling pictures of skulls, and that only made me more upset.

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I started having dark thoughts — that I wouldn’t be able to cope if I had damaged my brain, and that if I found out I had harmed myself, it might be better to end it. Only after a few more hours was I able to feel the whole sagittal suture — the line where the skull bones join together — and that made me feel a little better.

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I feel physically fine, except for my differences in information processing, which is also normal for me, and constant anxiety. I don’t want to whine, and I understand how counterproductive it can be to post in communities where people themselves are looking for help. I’m tired of talking to AI about my worries. I just want some words of support from real people.

One of my classmates shone a laser into my eyes after finding out that I have -6 vision and after hearing the teacher say that it’s dangerous to walk outside without glasses with such a prescription. It took me a couple of minutes to realize that I was angry at myself for not reacting more sharply—like not punching him in the face—but instead I just responded briefly in conversation with others. He kind of thought I has bad eyes and decided to “finish me off” or something? I keep having thoughts that I should get back at him or get into a fight. I would call myself a pacifist, but right now I feel anxiety mixed with hatred.

They don’t do this in my country, so I’m curious 😅

Hi guys. I have APD or hidden hearing loss (you can google it if you don’t know it; the conditions are almost identical).

Right now I’m feeling anxious and I keep remembering how my brother threw a heavy toy at my head when I was a child, and I’m starting to overthink things. I wasn’t taken to the hospital; I was fine at the time and just had a bump. What reassures me now is that I remember how I used to enjoy anime and music in the period between my age now and the time I was hit, so I think the connection isn’t that strong.

By the way, to make sure I’m not “crazy,” I did a hearing test with an audiologist and my main frequencies were mostly fine.

I want to know: do many of you feel this way from birth, or did the problems appear only when you started noticing them? Are there people here who started experiencing communication difficulties only in their teenage years or later?

Hello everyone 👋 I’m the older brother in my family and I don’t know what to do with my younger brother.

To start with, in childhood we often fought, argued, etc. (although I was always against it). He did reckless things, and often part of his responsibilities (for example, until 5th–6th grade I did his homework at my parents’ request. I couldn’t refuse). My brother’s mistakes were often blamed on both of us, and if he did something bad, instead of saying “he is bad,” my parents would say “we are bad.”

Once my father had been drinking and wanted to hit my brother, but I pulled him away because I was worried about my brother and possible injuries. Another time, my brother intentionally took my phone during an argument and threw it away. We fought, and during the fight he fell again (he is completely fine, but the speakers were damaged and became worse/quieter; there is no obvious reason, so there’s no point in repairing it, but it was important to me because I’m sensitive to poor-quality sound).

Not long ago, we had another argument and he hit me in the shoulder. I hit him back and we started fighting, during which I broke one of the doors with my elbow. Later I cleaned up the glass, checked on my brother, made sure he was okay (I was worried about a concussion), and told my parents that I had tripped over a dog.

After all of this, he still continues to insult me and makes it hard for me to live normally. Today he tried to start a fight again. I played along, but when I saw his leg swing at head level, I realized he doesn’t care about possibly injuring me.

This is only a small part of our life, but I’m trying to say that he doesn’t feel any gratitude toward me or even avoid hatred. I don’t remember my depressive period clearly and I’m not sure whether he contributed to it with his words, but I do remember him continuing to insult me.

I increasingly have thoughts that I should have beaten him and not even tried to check on his health. Just so that he would be afraid of me and leave me alone. In a fair fight he wouldn’t stand a chance anyway—so what was all this for?

I’m 19, he is 15. Right now I live with my parents and, accordingly, with my brother. Maybe there are some tips on how to reduce communication between us and make it more distant? I just want to stop being treated like I’m nothing.

TLDR: I’m 19, my brother is 15. I feel awful because he keeps treating me like a punching bag with his childish behavior.