u/Typical-Chocolate-70

We had an interview with a nanny who is super great with our daughter. But her instagram shows she goes to raves on a regular basis, in addition to being out at bars taking shots.

She was very professional and on time during our interview and trial. She’s also had many years of experience teaching in schools. I was really shocked to see this.

Would you hire someone who has that type of lifestyle?

Just curious about folks working in big tech, what’s your networth and at what point do feel like you can leave the hamster wheel?

I grew up with a narcissistic stepdad and narcissistic mom. I endured all kinds of abuse. I went no contact with my mom after I had my baby 6 months ago, I couldn’t stand the idea of my baby being exposed to that.

My mom continues to try to contact me, evening threatening today to go to the police or show up at my work if I don’t call her back. What do I do? She is going to try to humiliate me.

Mine is 100% after taxes and benefits. Lol. I think of it as a season where we make the nanny rich and us poor.

With all the conflicting information about how daycare is good for socialization and building immunity, what made you decide on hiring nanny for your family instead?

My MIL and I had a decent relationship until my husband and I had our first. MIL came over 5 days post partum to “help”. She stayed two weeks where she watched 12+ hours of TV per day unless we asked her to hold the baby. No cleaning or cooking help. My husband had to cook for her. When she did hold the baby, she would often not give her back to me when I asked, scolding that I would wake baby up. She would also make fun of how I burp baby by , and point out how I wasn’t doing this and that correctly. When I tried to talk to her about how hard post partum recovery was, she just replied with “ya, we all went through it” and change the subject. I struggled with my milk supply, and she told me it’s because I’m too stressed and to “just relax”.

It all came to a boiling point when my husband and I stepped out to get groceries, and when we came back, I found my 3 week old asleep covered fully, top of head to toes, in a thick knitted blanket on her lounger while MIL watched TV. I freaked out and asked her how long baby had been covered, and she said 15 minutes, and that the baby pulled the baby over her head. I thought this was impossible because the baby was 3 weeks old and the blanket was heavy. We ended up rushing her to the pediatrician to get checked out, thankfully all is ok.

That night I was visibly upset, took the baby to my bedroom and closed us in there. I couldn’t look at my MIL I was so angry. Apparently this made MIL cry and she sobbed to my husband who then got angry at me. MIL said it was a mistake and she just looked away for a short time

Since then, I haven’t been able to trust MIL alone with baby. And this has caused more tension between us.

How to handle this? Edit: I think I just needed to vent too. She is on my fucking nerves!!! She came over again after the incident and grabbed the baby to take her to another room by herself away from me.