u/Unable-Road-6050

i’m 23 im very young and i see kids as nowhere near my future until early 30s i have genuine fears of pregnancy along with childbirth and losing my bodily anatomy and im not sure i could go through pregnancy maybe i could do adoption

however back in february i met this guy who got me like no one else did he was smart handsome funny and we spent 4 months together and i was so happy i finally felt like i found someone i saw a future with and he was everything i was looking for.

but one day in march he asked me if i would ever want kids i think my answer was im not sure if i could go through pregnancy i might adopt. he said he wanted kids and thats his main goal in life. that was the entire conversation well last week out of nowhere he ended things said that he needs a relationship where he knows she wants kids. it absolutely crushed me i told him i could get there in the future but he said he needed certainty

since then ive been thinking a lot about this person and what i lost. i know theres 7 billion people in the world but no one understood me like him i told my mom about this and my reservations and she told me pregnancy was amazing for her and she loved it so now my head is completely screwed. what if i just through away something really good over a fear i have at 23? if anyone has been in my shoes before and had someone pressure/ ask them when they were young what did you do?

one week since a completely blindsiding breakup i’m finally sleeping and eating again and i feel like my nervous system is finding some peace. night is the worst though i think of him and look at pictures and videos and remember how safe i felt with his arms around me

i also spoke to him on the phone for two hours on saturday he was kind same humor still had me laughing but nothing had changed he still thinks we need time he said we could be friends in the future but for now to take space

it’s so hard when you finally find the kind of person you have been looking for just for it to fall apart. but i am doing better this week and have been able to do normal tasks without breaking down every five minutes

he texted me today and asked how i was doing if there was anything he could do to help i called him and we talked for two hours honestly a really good conversation nothing changed we still had our reasons for things ending but i feel like i have so much more peace now knowing that things are okay and we didn’t end things crying and upset

all this to say if you end things on a very emotional note go with your gut you know your relationship best and do what you need to do to find your peace

23 F i’m 3 days out from everything ending with a 23 M and all i can do is replay that final day. for context we had been dating for 5 months but it was very intense we were seeing each other 3-4 times a week sleeping over having sex constantly talking about the future.

but the final day it was like a perfect date i showed up to his with a nice gift since he had just signed a job offer. then we went to a resort got food drinks went to the pool went to the gym laid out in the sun and had a nice afternoon

after that we went back to his and then got dinner and he took me to his favorite dessert spot

after that we watched a movie and had sex. it was after the movie when we were about to go to bed that i asked him what was next and what he saw me as. he told me before for the last two months he had been waiting for months to make it official until he got his job offer.

it was then that the conversation unraveled he told me he wasn’t sure what this was if he could continue and that our futures didn’t align. he cited children as the main reason for that as he wanted a family by 25 27 latest ( this was the first time i ever heard him tell me this ) and i told him back in march i didn’t know if i could ever go through pregnancy and would rather adopt.

from there it was over i was begging for him and the relationship and all he could do was say i’m sorry and say that he had felt this way since he signed the job offer, but didn’t know when to end things and when we had a perfect day. he said he wasn’t planning on doing it until i brought up the convo. i was crying so hard i almost had a panic attack i felt completely blindsided and like i had no idea who the person in front of me was

i’m really upset and i can’t stop replaying that last day in my head how could he do all of that and still know in the back of his head it was already over

i also hate that we had sex and were intimate when he already knew in his mind he was gonna end things

in only 5 months he became my best friend and someone i genuinely saw a future with i’ve never felt so much loss from a relationship

with my college ex the relationship had been dying down for months when the breakup happened it was mutual and amicable this was the opposite i went from picturing a future with this person to being no contact

all i want to do is wake up from this bad dream text him and see him again all i do when i sleep is replay that last day i miss him so badly

23 F i’m 3 days out from everything ending with a 23 M and all i can do is replay that final day. for context we had been dating for 5 months but it was very intense we were seeing each other 3-4 times a week sleeping over having sex constantly talking about the future.

but the final day it was like a perfect date i showed up to his with a nice gift since he had just signed a job offer. then we went to a resort got food drinks went to the pool went to the gym laid out in the sun and had a nice afternoon

after that we went back to his and then got dinner and he took me to his favorite dessert spot

after that we watched a movie and had sex. it was after the movie when we were about to go to bed that i asked him what was next and what he saw me as. he told me before he had been waiting for months to make it official until he got his job offer.

it was then that the conversation unraveled he told me he wasn’t sure what this was if he could continue and that our futures didn’t align. he cited children as the main reason for that as he wanted a family by 25 27 latest and i told him back in march i didn’t know if i could ever go through pregnancy. from there it was over i was begging for him and the relationship and all he could do was say i’m sorry and say that he had felt this way since he signed the job offer but didn’t know when to end things and when we had a perfect day he wasn’t planning on doing it until i brought up the convo

i’m really upset and i can’t stop replaying that last day in my head how could he do all of that and still know in the back of his head it was already over

i also hate that we had sex when he already knew in his mind he was gonna end things

in only 5 months he became my best friend and someone i genuinely saw a future with i’ve never felt so much loss from a relationship

all i want to do is wake up from this bad dream text him and see him again all i do when i sleep is replay that last day i miss him so badly

for content we’re both 23 and i met this guy in february and honestly really liked him right away but i wasn’t in the headspace for a relationship he told me right away that’s what he was looking for

we kept dating seeing each other between 2-4 times every week and then feelings got deeper and around april i felt ready and then he told me he came commit rn bc he was doing an internship and wasn’t sure where he would land after it

we also started sleeping together in may something huge for me because i’ve only ever done that with one other person

well yesterday he landed a 6 figure full time job in the same city and signed his offer and i thought we would be celebrating i got him gifts and we spent a day together but at night he was distant

i finally asked what was wrong and what he sees this becoming and he said i don’t know if i want to stay here long term and you have said u don’t want kids.

for months he was saying the reason he hadn’t made this official was because of this job uncertainty and now he has it and ends things over kids?

we had only discussed kids once and it was watching love is blind i had said how i don’t know if pregnancy is something i could put myself through and i would rather adopt. that was all i said and he told me he never forgot that conversation and that was back in march. he had felt this way in march and was finally coming to terms with it in june??

i told him my feelings towards it could change and he said i can’t take a gamble on the biggest goal in my life. he said he wants kids by the time he’s 25 27 latest ( we’re both 23 )

i feel completely blindsided he ended the relationship there said we should go no contact and i basically cried for hours and haven’t stopped since i went from thinking we were finally going to have this be official and serious to everything ending in the span of 12 hours.

does anyone have any advice or been through something similar? he even said he wasn’t planning on doing this tonight but he was gonna do it soon i wish i could undo everything from the last 12 hours

i met this guy in february and honestly really liked him right away but i wasn’t in the headspace for a relationship he told me right away that’s what he was looking for

we kept dating seeing each other between 2-4 times every week and then feelings got deeper and around april i felt ready and then he told me he came commit rn bc he was doing an internship and wasn’t sure where he would land after it

we also started sleeping together in may something huge for me because i’ve only ever done that with one other person

well yesterday he landed a 6 figure full time job in the same city and signed his offer and i thought we would be celebrating i got him gifts and we spent a day together but at night he was distant

i finally asked what was wrong and what he sees this becoming and he said i don’t know if i want to stay here long term and you have said u don’t want kids.

for months he was saying the reason he hadn’t made this official was because of this job uncertainty and now he has it and ends things over kids?

we had only discussed kids once and it was watching love is blind i had said how i don’t know if pregnancy is something i could put myself through and i would rather adopt. that was all i said and he told me he never forgot that conversation and that was back in march. he had felt this way in march and was finally coming to terms with it in june??

i told him my feelings towards it could change and he said i can’t take a gamble on the biggest goal in my life. he said he wants kids by the time he’s 25 27 latest ( we’re both 23 )

i feel completely blindsided he ended the relationship there said we should go no contact and i basically cried for hours and haven’t stopped since i went from thinking we were finally going to have this be official and serious to everything ending in the span of 12 hours.

does anyone have any advice or been through something similar? he even said he wasn’t planning on doing this tonight but he was gonna do it soon i wish i could undo everything from the last 12 hours