u/UrN3rdyGF

Can someone explain why pregnancy is dated from the last period instead of the actual day conception happens?

Like(using these dates for an example)

if my last period started April 28 but conception would’ve happened around May 15, doctors would still say I’m already over 3 weeks pregnant by May 20 even though fertilization only happened about 5 days ago. I don’t fully understand how that dating system works.

Like WHYY does it count as the last period and not the conception?

And when we are shown photos of babies/fetus at certain weeks.. are those from the pregnancy count or from the conception?? Like when they go "this is a 3 week old fetus"

I know stupid a$$ questions but I always wondered this.

Basically what the title says^

Silly stupid question ik. I just found out I am pregnant during his turning green. ♡

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At first, it started because of comments my boyfriend was making nothing negative but pointing out my eating and it felt rewarding and nice, and that kind of triggered everything. Then I became obsessed with the scale again. I used to struggle more with bulimia, but now it’s turned into restriction and it feels way worse because the surgery itself already limits how much I can eat. So physically, restriction is kind of built in… but mentally, it’s become a full spiral.

I’m starving all the time, but because I go too long without eating, my stomach feels like it’s shrinking even more, which makes eating incredibly painful. Bc my stomach was cut to only handle >!2oz!< of food, So now I’m stuck in this awful cycle where I desperately want food, but mentally I’m relapsing and physically eating hurts. Which pain is also causing me not to want to eat and then its just this back and forth thing..

The part I’m struggling with most is that I don’t want to tell my psych or nutritionist. They both know my ED history, and I had already warned them I felt myself getting close to relapse. My psych is leaving at the end of this month, and I honestly don’t have it in me to hear another “just eat protein” or “don’t do that” conversation from my nutritionist when it feels so much bigger than that.

And that’s what really gets me… I know this surgery was probably the healthier choice overall. I know that. But a huge part of me regrets it because I want to eat so badly and I feel like I can’t, mentally or physically.

I relapsed mentally about 2 months after surgery, a month after eating soft solids again, and now it feels like I’m fully back in that mindset. Like once that switch flipped, it was game over.

I genuinely don’t know what to do from here. Has anyone else dealt with ED relapse after any kind of stomach surgery? How do you even begin to separate necessary restriction from a full mental relapse when it all starts blending together?

A part of me wants to relapse again, a part of me is suffering, again.

I am supposed to be taking vitamins, and protein shakes. I do neither. My hair is falling out, and I have that thick curly greek hair and now its.. so thin. Even my body hair is thinning now, I feel tired, I am like.. 80% sure im anemic now, I am so hungry but I tell myself not to eat bc I have no hunger que bc the nerve has been removed, and itll look better on the scale but then when I am like "woah. I am shaking", or "woah.. I do feel like I can eat something" from not eating and shrinking my stomach it hurts again. Drinking hurts, everything hurts.

I want this, but I dont. I hate my body soo much, I want to be thinner, I have lost like >!100lbs!< since surgery(I was a bit higher in weight but not like disgusting), and I just.. want to lose more, I have to lose more.. but just with stomach surgery recovery I will lose more even if I just ate normally bc my stomach is only 10% of what it was.. I am not sure what to do anymore. I.. I can just keep going on and on about this but I just cant find the right words to say..

Any advice, concerns, tips, understanding??

My boyfriend (26) and I (25) have only been together for 3 months, but today he said something to me that I don’t think I’ll ever unhear.

I moved in with him a week ago. Fresh move. Fresh relationship. Fresh start… or at least that’s what I told myself.

He’s military, so this past week he’s been gone out in the field all day, leaving before sunrise and coming home exhausted just to sleep. I understood that. I really did. But while he’s been gone, I’ve been running on fumes, I mean, Iam sure he is too with whatever he had to do in the field so I aint complaining about that. Just telling yall the picture of whats happening.

I have a 2-year-old daughter whose sleep schedule has apparently just.. been crazy. She’s been fighting sleep until 3 or 4 in the morning, waking up at 5, and somehow functioning like a tiny caffeinated dictator. Meanwhile, I’m surviving on maybe 1-3 hours of sleep a night.

Since moving here, I also had to leave my job because his place is an hour and a half away from my hometown. So in the span of a week and a half, I went from employed and independent… to a sleep-deprived stay-at-home mom in someone else’s house, trying to keep everything spotless so I don’t feel like a burden.

Every day, I clean, repeatedly through out the night while she stays up, bc if you have or know toddlers you know its constant and not just once or twice, and I keep my daughter quiet. I tiptoe. I exhaust myself trying to prove I deserve the space I’m taking up.

This morning, after not sleeping, my daughter finally went down for a nap or sleep.(whatever) around 11am. I crawled back into bed, just wanting to be close to him for a minute. Just one soft moment. I just wanted to breath him in. I missed him.

I curled up next to him, and he said not to get comfortable because he was leaving to do DoorDash and Uber.

I just said, “Aw… but I missed you.”

Not whining. Not arguing. Just honest and tryna be lovey.

And then he looked at me and said:

“Well, I have to work. I can’t just do nothing and stay home all day like some people.”

At first, I genuinely thought he was joking about being mean. I laughed and said, “What? Do nothing?” (like sure.. cleaning the house and doing what I do isnt like anything award winning.. but *nothing* feels very... Like... I let trash pile up, and destroy the place or smthing idk)

But he wasn’t joking.

He asked me if I even had aspirations anymore.

If I had just given up.

He told me before my ex, I had goals. I had dreams. I used to do everything I said, I would do. That my drive and determination was what once made him really like me back in the day, when we were just friends,. He enjoyed that about me, thats what made him have a crush on me. Thats what made him want to pursue me once he heard news of me being single and giving me time to adjust.

Then he said my ex(my bd) “chewed me up and spit me out,” and that now, almost a year since, I’ve dropped the ball on my own life and don’t even care enough to pick it back up. That its been a year and I dont have a single care in the world about nOTHING.

And then he looked me dead in my face and said:

“You have NOTHING. YOU. ARE. NOTHING.”

I told him maybe I should just go back to my parents’ house then. That I was sorry if me and my daughter being there this past week had already become too much. I reminded him I clean, I try, I keep things together, and I'm willing to do whatever he wants or needs me to do.

He put on his shoes and told me I needed to “fix the issue” I caused.

And if I didn’t have it figured out by 1:45 PM sharp…I could pack my “little backpack” and walk the 75 Or so miles home.

Then he left.

So I cleaned.

Not because it was dirty. It wasn’t.

But because I didn’t know what else to do.

I organized things that were already organized.

I scrubbed things that were already clean.

I stood in the bathroom washing toothbrush holders and scrubbing the sink like if everything sparkled enough, maybe I wouldn’t feel so worthless.

And then I looked up.

Really looked.

At the woman in the mirror.

Exhausted. Hollow. Holding herself together with off and on sleep deprivation for years, survival mode, and denial.

And I just started crying.

Because for the first time…

I couldn’t even argue.

I couldn't persuade my worth...

Somewhere between becoming a mother, surviving domestic violence with my bd, heartbreak, losing myself, giving up my job, moving away, and trying so hard to be lovable again…

I really did disappear.

I kept waiting for life to start again.

For me to come back.

I had this looking forward feeling to the pit of my stomach for months. Like it was just all going to hit in, like I was counting days down for vacation but.. for hope.

But.. staring at my reflection today, all I could think was…

Maybe the worst part wasn’t hearing someone I love call me, nothing.

Maybe it was realizing I already believed it.

I really AM.. nothing..