u/Useful-Cold-9292

I started dating someone a few months back, we've definitely had some bumps and I've had to learn how to do a lot of things differently than I did before when it was just me. It's a welcoming change but also terrifying. Being vulnerable is so exhausting and nerve wrecking sometimes but then the connection and warmth that you are rewarded with? So wholesome but again, terrifying (lol).

These past months has taught me that people are complex, we do not know what goes on in someone elses mind as well as we think we do. It's important to walk at our own speed and be vocal about it cause other people do the same, and if we do not communicate that, our boundaries tend to get crossed. Not on purpose but rather from them just doing their thing and expect us to do the same, which we should, it's healthy. Not that easy though.

The past week has me very overwhelmed, she wants more connection but is also okay with going at my speed, she is just very excited and it scares me. We have a few important discussions to be had to get to know each other and how we fit into each others lives and I am taking my space and trying to self regulate but I gotta say that this dance of numbness to feeling it all is tiring, I know it's a balance and I'm learning to be trusting and gentle in my dialogue with myself so it's gonna take time, and that's okay. It needs to be. It's a journey after all and I'm learning to enjoy every aspect of it as I get to embrace this life differently than before and take up new spaces ever so slow. I just think the fear gets to me a bit hard this evening, and that's okay. Whatever happens I try to see this as an experience, it has taught me a lot and I'm learning to be grateful for it.

Stay the course, much love

K.

Hi all! I am new to navigating this whole being vulnerable in a healthy way whilst feeling safe and so far I've encountered a few moments where I've actually have been unable to even show the smallest of care to some people I otherwise love and care for.

I just don't have it in me sometimes, it feels like a block of stone to even type anything starting with "I..." Like I am in a contest of sorts and if I don't know the answers I am gonna feel chased afterwards or that I'm giving parts of myself that I do not yet feel safe to give. But I've been ok with giving before? I cannot even say the simplest of things that would show that I do care. Like, me having feelings of love is a threat of some kind?

Caring should be mine to hold and to give whenever I feel I am able to, so am I just not able to now and should offer myself forgiveness and acceptance? It's a journey for sure to get to know yourself better each day and try different things hoping for a better result.

Take care of yourselves. (I care.) albeit scary..

Hugs.

Hi everyone! I was wondering if anyone encountered yourself having moments of extreme low capacity for showing care and vulnerability?

I am at my wit's end here having difficulty even saying "I am thinking of you" to the person I am dating without overthinking what I am giving away like it's some big part of me that I'd never get back or even feeling chased afterwards.

I am usually a very caring person but I seem to encounter more and more of these moments and I just don't know what to do anymore. Any advice is appreciated.

Much love

K

Hi, this is the first time I've dated since I began my healing my attachment wound and I have been in a constant fight/flight the last week(almost 2 weeks) after sharing some vulnerable sides of myself and getting more serious with the person I'm dating. I am aware that this is expected dute to how my attachment is rooted but what I don't feel like I was prepared for was the constant stomach ache from having speaking up ab my needs and meeting those fears and now living in a constant nervousness of wanting to connect and being held but also don't feel prepared to lean into that due to my system is in shock or something.

It feels like my insides are being torn apart and I am having trouble sleeping, I am losing my appetite, night feels like day and it feels like if I lean in or open up I might actually explode and all I really want is to do just that. Any advice? I am doing a lot of grounding techniques daily, I am focusing on myself and other parts of my life to have a meaningful balance outside of this relationship to anchor me but I'm really just so lost with these physical sensations I've had in a constant for 1 week. Do we know if it's our attachment or if the other person is contributing and how do we communicate that our system is at capacity, don't tell me you miss me cause I might fall over, in a way that invites curiousity and not taking it personal?

Hi, I was wondering if anyone has experienced panic attacks when being asked for intimacy from a partner? I've had bad relationships in the past with sexual settings and feeling pressured to do stuff and not feeling wanted being myself so now I tend to get very anxious or even start having panic symptoms when this new person I'm dating tells me just normal stuff they want of me and I can't breathe. I am so afraid to fall down that hole again and them neglecting me and my needs solely for themselves.

I am realizing that I probably need therapy, I just don't know where to turn as of this moment but I do understand that this is not something I can ignore. If you have any advice on how to navigate this for you that might help me seperate some of the pressure I'm experiencing I'd gladly take it. Thank you. Have a good rest of your day!<3