u/Useful_Talk_375

Including Step Son (6yo) In Wedding

To any step parents who included their step kids in their ceremony,

How did you involve them if not just in the wedding party?

Do you think it is alright to do a step parent/step kid dance? (The bio mom really does not like him even referring to me as his step mom and i dont want him getting in trouble w her for anything)

Any suggestions for ways to tie SS into a unity ceremony?

I want him to feel included as this is a big thing for him too.
TIA!!

SOS.. please do not come after me. I am a (soon to be) step parent in a crap situation that keeps getting worse when it was supposed to be at least a little better by now. Feeling hopeless and like the justice system is not holding my fiance’s coparent accountable.

My fiancé and his ex share a 6yo son. Over a year ago now mom wanted to relocate with the child to another state. She did not notify my fiance until 2 weeks prior. The state was 900 miles away from where we live currently. When my fiance said he was not comfortable with that she held onto their son and did not allow him to see/hear from the child for nearly 3 months. (They did not have a formal agreement prior to this therefore he could do nothing until a judge intervened) At a temporary custody hearing it was determined that since the child had been with mom primarily for months at that point that she would retain primary custody for the remainder of the time until trial. The judge, however, did reprimand her and state that she should not have held the child away from my fiance.
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After over a year of waiting for trial my fiance and his HCBM finally went to court shortly into the new year. Judge did not allow her to relocate. Their new custody order stated 50/50 would be best for their child with mom retaining the tie breaker (lawyer suspected this was to help give her enough rope to hang herself so-to-speak). Within the order, it states that this 50/50 arrangement only works due to the close proximity of the parents to one another (approx 40 miles). However, less than a week after the trial HCBM requested a relocation be approved to an entirely separate location that is 200+ miles away. It was denied. A day later a second request for the same move was requested. The judge stated it would go to hearing but put HCBM on notice and stated ‘if it is not found warranted this party shall pay all legal costs and lawyer fees, etc’. Fiance thought this would be the end of it until the hearing but no. She messaged him saying to drop the child off in the area of the proposed move for drop off. He asked if she moved. She said “well yeah I told you I was going to??!” My fiancé and his lawyer began getting the necessary documentation in place to request the move not be approved instantly. An emergency hearing has been put into place, lawyer did not file for contempt though.

I need advice or encouragement for my fiance and I as we go through this. He is afraid that the 50/50 custody he fought hard to get back after she was awarded temporary primary custody last year will be stripped from him before we even got a chance to enjoy more time with their child again.

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We got to call with the child today. During the call he said “i got to look at the new school I’m going to go to!” (The school he had gone to last year is back in the area we are ij still) so mom is planning to move the child there for schooling apparently. Even without court approval still. I am enraged and heartsick at the things she has been telling him. She gets his hopes up and then blames us for why he doesn’t end up getting the things she falsely promises.

-background-
My friend and his ex share one daughter. Over a year ago now mom wanted to relocate with the child to another state. When dad said he was not comfortable with that she held onto the child and did not allow him to see/hear from the child for months. (They did not have a formal agreement prior to this therefore he could do nothing until a judge intervened) At a temporary custody hearing it was determined that since the child had been with mom primarily for months at that point that she would retain primary custody for the remainder of the time until trial.
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After over a year of waiting for trial my friend and his ex finally went to court shortly into the new year. Judge did not allow her to relocate. Their new custody order stated 50/50 would be best for their daughter. Within the order, it states that this 50/50 arrangement only works due to the close proximity of the parents. However, less than a week later mom requested a relocation be approved to an entirely separate location that is 200+ miles away from where they currently both were residing. He and his lawyer were in the process of getting the necessary documentation in place to request the move not be approved when my friend discovered that mom had already moved with the child.

Does anyone have any words of comfort I can offer my friend in this situation? Or any advice on how he can go about documenting communication with mom?

This situation has been quite hard on my friend, as I’m sure it has been for their child and the child’s mother. He is afraid that the 50/50 custody he fought hard to get back after she was awarded temporary primary custody last year will be stripped from him before he even got a chance to enjoy more time with their child again.

(Additional note: My friend as well as his lawyer both believe this is an attempt to get around the 50/50 order that was just put in place as mom hopes to gain primary or full custody.)