u/Usual_Can1510

Context. We’ve known each other since 2022, both F but I’m 22 and she’s 21.

This friend of mine is very dear to me, we’ve been through a lot together including a now-ex-friend that did us both horribly, her graduating and moving an hour away, and one argument that I admittedly instigated about how I didn’t like how she handled a sensitive topic. The argument was years ago now, it messed with us both, and I’ve apologized. I did notice she treated me differently afterwards; (to this day), she’s removed me from her close friends list on a few apps, claiming she completely removed it, but I’ve seen a few things from our mutuals that say otherwise. However, that’s not my issue as I’ve been removing myself from social media lately, but it did sting initially.

My issue is that she’s flaky. Honestly, something worse than flaky. She’ll come by town every once in a while to see her boyfriend and come home, and we’ll also make separate plans to hang out. We’ll plan it days to weeks in advance and settle on a time and activity. We sometimes struggle with place, because she often picks me up, so we could theoretically just go with the flow.

Except, we don’t get that chance. Nearly every single time we have something planned, she backs out the night before or morning of. Sometimes, she won’t even give me the decency of a text to tell me she can’t make it. I won’t hear from her for hours or days. Twice, she’s told me she’s on the way, just to never show.

Her reasoning varies. She forgot she had other plans, was too tired or general unwell (this last one sounds bad, I know, but it’s understandable given her personal circumstances).

And I’m tired of it. I’ve told her repeatedly I’m tired and upset and frustrated with her flaking often turned silence. I’ve told her it is my number 1 pet peeve. The worst part is that she agrees she’s in the wrong and tries and then falls through. Every single time.

The last two times I’ve seen her is by complete accident, just running into her visiting other people in our town. In between all of that has been ghosting, a conversation saying I’m tired of her cancelling so often. The biggest sting, however, is that I told her the date of my senior presentation the last time I ran into her and she put it in her calendar, just for her to overbook it, and now she’s scrambling to see if she can come. And then, she was going to visit another friend’s presentation tonight, never showed (to my knowledge), despite her telling me she was coming earlier this day so we could say hello and pass on a few borrowed items and despite her telling me she was on the way.

She’s a good person other than this one thing. I love hanging out with her, and she is one of my favorite people I have ever met. I just can’t do it anymore, but I don’t have the heart to block her and move on. I am scared I’m “riding the high” of another removing another toxic friend from my life recently. But also, I don’t want to try anymore with her. I’m tired of getting my day ruined by her lack of communication and constant cancellations. I don’t know what to do.