u/VacationFlat2071

Any older people here want to share any tips ?

Im 28M now and unfortunately the path for a relationship has too many barriers for me, realistically its almost impossible and i have mostly accepted that

However i would like to know what to be aware of as i get older, if anyone here has some advice on how to prepare for a FA life on the long run

im a 3rd culture kid and don’t really have a place to call home, recently moved to the US and have my own business but i dont have any friends here and while my parents and siblings are around me now all of them are planning on moving to different states/countries soon, i also don’t really know where i will end up in the future but if anyone has any advice or experiences to share please do

This is actually funny to me now because i just came across a post on a hinge (the dating app) sub and people were talking about how long a first date usually is

I was actually surprised that most peoples dates were 3+ hours, some people as long as 8+ hours, i dont know about you guys but i dont think i will ever be able to spend that much time with someone i dont know

it seems like the more stuff i find out about dating the more convinced i am that ill be alone forever, it honestly amazes me how people can find someone they connect with and spend that much time together the first time they meet, the whole thing is just so alien to me that its becoming funny

In my culture arranged marriages are a thing, but my dumbass decided to start hooking up with escorts a few years ago and now have a semi-permanent std

So that option is out the window because if i disclose that my entire family will find out and the woman would leave me anyway

I feel so mad at myself especially now when my family keeps bringing up the subject and i just tell them im not ready or that i prefer to be single but that hurts even more

I honestly feel like i deserve to be single forever but my brain doesn’t seem to understand that

One of my close friends was talking to me yesterday saying he’s noticed that i haven’t been the same and that I’m mentally not doing great

The thing is he doesn’t even see that being forever alone as a problem and trying to convince me to somehow become passionate about life like i used to when i was younger and tries giving me hope that somehow this dream woman will walk into my life and accept me with all my flaws

The problem is he has never NOT been in a relationship lol, ever since we were young teens he had a girlfriend and sometimes multiple too… pretty much all of my friends have been in relationships except me and non of them really understand so when they try to talk to me about my situation i just get irritated and emotional especially when they start with the hypothetical shit as if a partner is just going to fall out of the sky loving me

28M here and I’m confused about a some things, I’ve had warts for about 4 years now, first i had 3 and froze them off using the home kits, then a few months later i got 4, i froze them off again and two almost completely shrunk but i still have another 2 big ones

Now my question is do these warts go away by themselves if the immune system clears or suppresses the virus?

And what does clearing the virus exactly mean ? I know i cant get tested but if the virus is cleared does that mean its gone or does it stay in the body but inactive ?? And is it possible for the warts to come back years later ?

Edit : The stuff on the wiki seems very vague and there doesn’t seem to be a general rule or a specific way this virus acts so im mainly looking to see what other peoples real life experience is with this

Were not being lied to
Not being cheated on
Not being manipulated
Not going through a divorce

The amount of videos ive been seeing lately about failed relationships makes me thankful sometimes that im single and the posts on the dating subs is just as bad

Im usually posting here when im feeling down or depressed but ive been feeling pretty good today and thought this might give someone some positivity regarding our situation lol

This is driving me crazy, i have never been in a relationship and have been trying to suppress my emotions and the longing for love for years now but it seems to keep getting more intense, how do you people deal with it and reach the point where you’re happy that you’re single

I feel exhausted from being trapped inside my own mind. I feel like I am constantly judging myself, replaying my past, and wondering if I ruined my own future. I wanted love for so long, but now that desire feels like a source of pain because it reminds me of everything I fear I can’t have. What I really want is to shut that desire off completely so I don’t have to feel disappointed, rejected, or ashamed anymore. I feel like I’m choosing the path of loneliness because it feels safer, but I still grieve the path toward love that I feel like I abandoned. The hardest part is feeling like I can’t escape myself or the person I was, the things I regret, and the fear that those things define who I am forever. I don’t want a cold heart, I just want a heart that can exist without constantly hurting itself.

that path to love has too many barriers for me and too much pain attached to it. Maybe loneliness is the easier road because at least it doesn’t carry the risk of being rejected, cheated on, lied to and being emotionally vulnerable

And what hurts more is not knowing if this feeling will ever go away, only time will tell

There are days when I feel like I lost the person I was supposed to become. I look back at that young man standing outside his college dorm with a fresh haircut, new clothes, and a father who believed in him enough to sacrifice so much for his future, and I feel like somewhere along the way I betrayed both of us. I made choices that went against my values, my faith, and the respect I wanted to have for myself, and although I have stopped, built a successful business, supported my family, and tried to live honestly, I still carry the feeling that those actions permanently changed how the world would see me.

It hurts knowing I can’t erase the past or go back in time to fix everything and I often wonder whether people would only see the labels attached to my mistakes instead of the man I have tried to become.
More than anything, I grieve the loss of feeling clean not because I believed I was perfect, but because I once believed I was someone who would stand by his principles no matter what. I still dream of having a wife, children, and a home built on trust and love, yet I fear that the past I carry may always stand between me and that life.

Some days the weight of these thoughts is so exhausting that all I want is to go to work, come home, shut the world out, and be left alone or cry even though deep down I still hope that one day someone might see my entire story not just my worst chapter and chooses to build a life with me anyway.

Im sort of comfortable now with the idea of being forever alone, lately it has been giving me a sense of relief for some reason. I just feel like im starting to hate people in general or any deep connection. I have a close old friend visiting and i dont have the energy to even talk most of the time, it almost feels like a burden having someone close to you… i just want to go back to my routine, finish work and just be alone, ive had this feeling with my parents who i love too, i dont hate the people close to me but i just want to be left alone

Sometimes i feel that if every person on the planet disappears, i would be able to become the best version of myself

Another reason i don’t think ill ever be able to date or get into a relationship is because im simply too boring

I used to have a lot of hobbies and activities that i used to enjoy doing even when alone but for the past few years it seems like i have lost passion for most things in life.

I enjoy my what i do for work but whenever i meet people they would be talking about their holiday plans or what they did last week for example and whenever they ask me what i do for fun i have nothing to say, my answer is always “nothing” or “work” because thats really all i do, either working or driving around it feels like im in a strict hustle mode and while this doesn’t necessarily make me feel bad or depressed as the other reasons but it kind of makes me feel pathetic tbh

Its a weird feeling i get all the time and wanted to see if maybe others feel the same way, this feeling really depends on the day but alot of times ill think that i can probably find a partner if i really worked on it but there is something deep down also preventing me from doing so

It maybe be some things that are wrong with me that i subconsciously know would prevent me from finding someone, is it that i know deep down i wont be good enough or is it something else i really don’t know

But what I’ve noticed is that when i get this feeling i don’t feel as sad or depressed, i kind of just feel confused

now that I’m writing this it also feels like a mix of daydreaming and fake hope, is this just a way of the brain coping with being forever alone ? Idk consider this a vent or discussion I’m not really sure what to flair it as

I always read posts and see videos of people talking about their relationship or problems with it or their partners and it makes me think how someone could have a really bad personality or bad habits but their partner would still be obsessed with them, afraid to lose them or willing to ignore the red flags

I saw this post on the dating advice sub by a girl saying that the guy shes been dating told her while they were intimate that he gets the urge to murder someone that turns him on, when she asked him to explain he said its just a murderous rage

Now to me this sounds crazy, but she is wondering if thats a red flag or shes wondering if he means it or not etc… but this really made me think.. are we too normal for dating ? Do people like to be in relationships with someone with an “edge”

It is very weird to me because it seems that people who suffer with getting into relationships usually try their best to impress someone but can be called a weirdo or friend zoned or just simply rejected but you have someone who gets a murderous rage when turned on and the woman isn’t sure what to think about it

Do people on here think they would feel better if there is something wrong with them physically making them stay alone forever and stopping them from finding someone ?

Or would it be better if you know that you’re perfectly fine and would make a great friend/partner but your environment or specific situation forces you to remain alone ?

Im not sure how everyone is going to view what im about to say, but the advice such as not telling your future partner about HPV history or not being celibate kind of makes me want to throw up

I dont know why i feel this way but i also feel obligated to tell anyone I’m going to have sex with and if i understand correctly if someone ever had HPV there will always be a chance to infect the other person even if chances were slim, this idea makes me sick and i feel like i have to force myself to remain celibate forever

Anyone else feel this way or am i going crazy ?

I have been thinking about my life and came to the realization that i have always had this feeling inside me since i was very young that I’m going to end up alone and that always scared me

And whats weird is that i have made some bad decisions that go against my beliefs and values and the consequences of those decisions force me to be alone now. during that time it felt like i was numb then now just woke up and realized that i am actually going to be alone forever whether i like it or not.

Part of my life feels like my body was being controlled by a different me , and that person was doing everything it could to stay alone to make sure the old me never got hurt, and that ended up hurting even more…

I feel like this virus might be the final sign that i just have to stay single forever

I was just an average guy that fell in love with this girl about 10 years ago, it was a bad situation that eventually broke off and we never ended up together or dated and i had never been in a relationship before , i was also waiting for marriage, but with everyone around me having sex including the girl i loved the frustration kept growing and i eventually started hooking up with girls around, i eventually got chlamydia but was treated and decided to re wait for marriage and haven’t had sex since but now years later i got genital warts and suspected to be HPV

Sex before marriage has officially ruined my life, i had always dreamt about having a partner and family and thought my anxiety would be the biggest obstacle, i guess not

Im a stranger in a country i barely know anyone in, with most of the people around me preferring to stick with people of their own kind regardless of them having STI’s or not and i come from a very religious/conservative family so an arranged marriage is out of the question now too

I feel like i have destroyed my life and just wish i had stuck with the values i had before , this post is just to get this off my chest as no one even knows I’m going through this and i just don’t know what to do

I have been reading posts on this sub for a few days now and came to the realization that alot of us on here seem to have some things in common and the two things i noticed the most is that we seem to be Anxious and Overthinkers

And the more i think about these things i realize that maybe if such people did get into relationships it wouldn’t work out the way we think it would and we would just end up lonelier but with the burden of a relationship and for some weird reason this makes me feel better about myself or get some sense of relief

I say this because i imagine myself overthinking every single thing that happens between me and my “future partner” so maybe the same things that are stopping us from being in relationships would be the same things stopping a relationship from continuing even if it did happen

Im not even sure why I’m writing this , just a piece of my mind before i go to bed

I was recently thinking about some stuff and realized that part of whats keeping me single is that i don’t feel i have enough energy to keep chasing after a woman to make sure she stays with me so i just wanted to know from the people in relationships how hard it actually is and whether or not they feel like they have a huge load on their shoulders