r/HerpesQuestions

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Im am 18F and got diagnosed with HSV2 yesterday. I have had three partners, one back in November(45M) and a married couple (54M and 51F) about ten days ago. About a week ago I felt some itching, but just brushed it off as chafing. Then the blisters popped up.

Im a biology student in my fourth year, and know the signs of HSV. I went to my OBGYN today and she confirmed it. I know that the virus can lie dormant in your body, but considering this outbreak happening only days after a sexual encounter, I think it was the couple who gave it to me.

Im a little bit worried since I also performed oral sex on both of them, but so far have not noticed any other symptoms. Neither of them appeared to have any sores or blisters, so I don't know if they're in remission or if they're asymptomatic.

How should I tell them about my diagnosis? It feels irresponsible not to tell them, but I don't know how to go about this. Should I just send a text or talk to them in person? I've been playing sick for a week now just to avoid explaining my symptoms. Help????

Edit: I just want to know how to tell them and what I should say

So ive met someone and we've been talking for about a month now. I think after talking for about 3/4 days I told her that I have it.

At first she was scared and rightfully so. But I told her that im in the antivirals, doing what i need to to in order to be safe. We set up timelines/boundaries for the intimacy stuff. And were both sticking to said boundaries. Cause I want to make her as comfortable as possible. She did her own research, and she found more horror stories then happy endings. I did my own research and found the same outcome. I also found the statistics of transferring it.. which is less then 10%. We even talk about it just in general to help her get comfortable with it.

Fast forward a month. We are still talking everyday, had a handful of dates and everything. The only thing for her to really move this to the next stage(officially dating). Is her fear of her getting it. Again I completely understand her worries about.

So, I (m41) was diagnosed with ghsv1 about 2 weeks ago, after having a few small sores I thought were ingrown hairs for a few days. I'd probably had the sores for a week by the time I got the diagnosis. I got on valtrex the next day, so I've been on meds for 2 weeks and the sores ​have all disappeared. I've had some itching symptoms but honestly I kind of always have itching symptoms because I am pretty hairy.

I'm bi, and have had a few fwbs, one of whom reached out to me out of the booh yesterday and asked if I wanted to hook up. I pretty much immediately disclosed my diagnosis, but said that I was on meds, and we could use a condom, and it would make transmission. Unlikely. He was in right away using a condom. I had receptive anal sex with him, using akana the whole time, but he is pretty big and I'm somewhat worried that it didn't cover all the way up to the shaft the whole time. This was yesterday, and I've had some more itching and there's even one bump more around my butts and some general redness in the area.

I'm feeling a lot of anxiety and worry that my initial outbreak wasn't completely gone, as the symptoms are and have been mild the whole time, and I've been able to kind of ignore them and go about my day for the most part. Either that or it's possible that I'm in prodrome for another outbreak. I feel stupid and gross. I feel like I wanted to be wanted in that moment. I disclosed and we used a condom but I don't think he is super up on sexual health and I'm feeling like I didn't think adequately about the risks. Please help, and know um already spiralling so yelling at me is not helpful.

Has anyone here ever had bladder issues (frequent urge to urinate) from HSV-2??? (F) please message me if you’d happen to have any info on this, thank you in advance!!!

Hi everyone,

The title really says it all. 27f, throwaway account for privacy. Thursday (5/14) I went to the doctor for a suspected yeast infection. By Thursday night I had burning while peeing and a light fever so I went back on Friday (5/15) and came back positive for a UTI. By Saturday evening, I was in the ER for a kidney infection because the antibiotic wasn't working and the bacteria spread. Sunday, 5/17, after IV antibiotics, I thought I had the "world's worst yeast infection" alongside all of this (I do get yeast infections before my period and when on antibiotics). I went back to the doctor yesterday (5/18) to check in because the THIRD antibiotic was not working - I still had extreme kidney pain, and I thought my yeast infection did not clear.

However, upon examination, the doctor suspected I am going through my first herpes outbreak in addition to all of the other medical issues. She prescribed a fourth antibiotic to try (it's working) and the antiviral medication which I started.

I was already having EXTREME burning with urination, as the sores around my vulva/near the urethra are quite painful. And then this afternoon (5/19) I started my period.

I have never been in so much pain in my life. The period blood on the open sores makes all of the pain ten times worse. I feel like I'm at a level 12/10 for pain.

The doctor told me to take sitz baths (which have caused me extreme pain), take tylenol and ibuprofen (they don't really work for me to begin with), use lidocaine (this has barely eased the pain), and keep the area dry.

HOW DO I KEEP THE AREA DRY WHEN I'm BLEEDING FOR THE NEXT SEVEN DAYS????? I don't know how I'm going to survive another week. The pain is blinding. I have such a high pain tolerance and I'm crying every time I go pee, shower, move, etc. I haven't slept in days - only about 2 hours per night since Thursday.

I called the doctor (it is through the student health center at my university so I don't think they even prescribe narcotics) to ask for some sleeping medication and heavier pain pills and they just reiterated the regimen I described above.

Do doctors not prescribe painkillers for this? I am just so shocked. I have never felt so much pain in my entire life. What do I do? What has worked for you all (women specifically, but anyone really).

Thanks in advance!!!

Really long but I NEED HELP!!!!!

All relevant info listed in a timeline:
Sun: had really rough sex with a partner ive been casually seeing / hooking up with for a few months. we had unprotected sex for a minute or two at the end. He pulled out. I was SO SWOLLEN immediately afterwards. It was scary. I’ve never swelled like that before. I was super tender and sensitive but not overly painful.
Mon/Tuesday: the swelling went down a good bit. i was still sensitive and tender. On one of these days i found a raw patch of skin on my vulva by my vaginal opening. It stung whenever I touched it which is how I found it. I looked at it in the mirror and just saw a raw red patch of skin. Looked like the top layer of my skin had been rubbed off. I didn’t think anything about it since we had ROUGH sex. It did not hurt/sting unless i touched it or wiped.
Tuesday/Wednesday: the raw patch started to heal/crust/scab around the boarder. Looked whiteish. By Wednesday I was feeling much better. No pain.
Thursday: felt fine again. Raw patch wasn’t super sensitive or stinging anymore. I was planning on having sex again. I shaved. I ended up not having sex. I used a new vibrator I had just gotten for the first time. I over did it for sure.
Friday: my clit was sore and sensitive. Looked irritated . I used the vibrator more. I had a TON of razor bumps from the night before when I shaved. Over my entire pubic area and vagina. That never happens and i remember thinking it was strange. It itched terrible. At this point i wasn’t having any noticeable pain or itching when i wasn’t touching anything.
Saturday: still sensitive and swollen. Still used the vibrator. Razor bumps were better. I woke up that morning and my newish belly button piercing that ive had no issues with was DISGUSTING. Oozing orange/yellow everywhere and so swollen red and crusty. Not sure if this is related or not.. it’s weird though. My vagina was HURTING. I looked at it again and I was super red and irritated. The raw patch didn’t look any different in shape or color (still red + whiteish) but definitely inflamed. It was smaller than it originally was and went to a red sore with a white middle that was deeper than the original patch. It started leaking fluid. Yellowish. Not puss. Only hurt if i touched it still. I was hurting so bad towards the night on saturday. I even put ice on myself to try and ease it. I masturbated but did not use vibrator. Lymph nodes by my hip bones swelled up.
Sunday: lymph nodes went down. Then.. ITCHING!! Not the sore though. Not terrible and it really started at night. It literally woke me up it was so bad. The sore looked exactly the same. Belly button was worse. I wasn’t severely hurting all day- just irritated and sensitive like Saturday. Sunday night was rough though.. Woke up in the night and put a cold washcloth on myself. It started hurting really bad when I peed in the night. I also masturbated but no vibrator (I have a high sex drive ok)
Monday: THE WORST. The morning was fine even though night before was awful. I was at work and went to the bathroom to pee. First time it stung but fine. Second time mid day? It burned the same but the itching and burning after was awful. I couldn’t sit still. I went home and looked at everything again. All looked the same aside from the sore being a little dryer. No scab. I woke up in the night multiple times because of the burning + itching while I was sleeping again. My pee stopped stinging though that night and so did the itching and uncomfortablility. I poked at the sore a lot and definitely made it more irritated. My lymph nodes swelled again but worse and close right next to my pubic area that connects to my upper thigh. I can see them sticking out. They aren’t super hard and I can move them around though. Here is the worst part!!!!! I looked closer and I have a tear in my vagina!!!! Perineal grade one. It’s kind of jagged though and has tears/rips with white around them in some places. It doesn’t hurt to touch, just a little itchy if I do and I have a lot of runny white discharge that has no smell.
Tuesday (today): woke up in the night before twice. Morning has been fine so far aside from my pee stinging a little in my first pee. I looked again this morning and everything looks the same, but more irritated because of how much I have poked at it. It was leaking a lot of orange-ish fluid in the night from the sore. I am feeling fine now but I can feel the irritation on my vagina if I pay attention to it. I never feel the sore unless I hit it. My discharge has been completely normal otherwise. Only my actual clit/vag/labia/etc itches and burns. Not the sore.

SUMMARY:
I have an open circular / oval sore on my vulva by my vaginal opening. It started as a raw red patch that looked like my skin got rubbed off after unprotected aggressive sex (swelled really bad after). It was all healing until i shaved and over used an intense vibrator. It is now surrounded by red with a whiteish opening in the middle that hurts only when i touch it. It is also right next to a grade one perineal tear at the opening of my vagina. I have been having swollen groin lymph nodes and a lot of pain and itching at times. I also have burning pee sometimes. Everything comes and goes which is weird. It’s been 9 days. The sore hasn’t changed much at all aside from getting a little smaller. My discharge has been normal aside from a little more coming from my tear. The sore has never hurt (even now) unless i touch it. Also never itches in of itself. Never had any blisters. Entire pubic area is itchy and burns bad sometimes. The sore leaks orange liquid. It’s all awful at night. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!? im freaking out!!!

Thank you for the help!

Hey, I got herpes 5 weeks ago and the outbreak lasted until 2 weeks ago. I had about 10 wounds spread around my penis. But I still have shiny skin and redness around where the wounds where. Its varies from pink to purple throughout the day. It doesnt seem to fade away does anyone know what this is and is it permanent?

Hey y’all newly diagnosed and honestly trying to figure out if it is HSV 1 or HSV2 . My blood work and swab are different like HSV 1 positive for blood and HSV 2 swab was positive but blood was negative so idk.
Anyways what do typical genital outbreaks look like? I don’t get blisters, I don’t get sick or anything so I’m trying to figure out if maybe it was a fluke and is just hsv1 ? Please help

Hello everyone, I recently have gotten diagnosed with herpes. I wanted to spread awareness and tell people do not receive head from someone who gets cold sores. I did not know this was a possibility and would get head from my partner all the time, he had cold sores on and off but this time we had recently gotten intimate then after I started feeling burning down there with bumps within a week. Then his cold sores came up. I feel sad and upset that this is a reality but after doing tons of research online I learned that its okay. If there was more education on this I wouldn’t have received oral sex and would not be in the pain I am today. There needs to be better education out there and I am glad that there are so many support groups to know that i will be okay and that my life isnt over.

Hi all. So I was SA in January. I had no physical pain or rashes or pain with urination. i went to get tested for everything, even herpes. I got my blood test result back positive for hsv 1 and negative for hsv 2. I felt so defeated. I have no idea where it is in my body. i believe when i got tested in june, i was negative for it then

Ive had no cold sores and no pain. i have no idea when I contracted this. How do I go about disclosing? I know to disclose before i have sex (don’t plan on doing that for a while) but should I disclose before kissing someone?

the test also didn’t show the numbers (how high it is). all i know is that i have the antibodies for it. is anyone else on the same boat?

Hi everyone,

I am 29f and I am in a long term committed mariage and just got a sudden outbreak of herpes on my lip. I'm trying to figure out how this happened... Ive never kissed anyone with active outbreaks while single and I haven't been in contact with anyone that had an outbreak (at least not visible) recently... The only person I know that had somewhatr frequent outbreaks was my father growing up. I can'rt remember if he was cautious and safe around us when he had outbreaks but hes honestly the ONLY person I clearly remeber having it and being around me as a child. I'm wondering if it possible after all these years that my father was the person that exposed me to HSV? Will the anitbodies accurately suggest how long Ive had it before the outbreak?

Also, as this is my first outbreak, is it possible this will be the only one I get? I really don't like having this visible and having to be so cautios around my family(husband, 11yo and 1yo) and worrying about spreading it. I read that pregnancy can weaken the immune system and casue dormant HSV to suddenly casue problems. This is my second pregnancy within 1 year. I lowkey feel gross having this... like other people are judging me.

Thank you!

I’m 38w4d preg and my partner and I are both carriers of GHSV2. I have been on daily antivirals as a precaution since 36 weeks (1x 500mg valtrex / day.) I haven’t really had an outbreak since the initial one when I contracted it about 16 years ago.

On May 7, my partner had a mild outbreak he noticed and started taking valtrex but was not consistent with the daily antivirals. He’s probably been more consistent in the last couple days. His symptoms (pimples, itchiness) on his pubic area we noticed disappeared on May 14 and today May 17, he still continues to take the valtrex.

My question is, when is it safe for us to resume sex - with the main attempt
To induce labor.

I am hoping for a vaginal delivery and want to protect our baby at all costs. Is it best to just avoid it since I’m late in my pregnancy and could potentially go into labor anytime?

I feel gross, I feel disgusting, I feel like a wh***, I feel betrayed because the person didn’t disclose, I feel nasty, I feel used up

I have all the education I need about this to not feel this way. But I still do.
How could anyone ever want me again?
How will I ever let go during sex without an aching feel that I’m gonna infect someone with my grossly diseased vagina? I’m disgusting.

I am SO tired of having HSV 2. I get outbreaks 24/7. As soon as the outbreak disappears, I get a new one after just a few days. My doctor says that she can’t go on suppressive therapy because I have not had it for that long. ( I have had it for like 6 months ) . Hsv 2 has literally ruined my life. What can I do to get less outbreaks? Many people say get rid of stress but how..? Please help I’m honestly so tired and I hate my life.

Hi, I was diagnosed with Genital herpes simplex virus type 1 over 5 years ago. It was contracted during my long-term relationship with my ex-partner, who has Oral herpes simplex virus type 1. I remember the phone call from my doctor all that time ago and thinking my life was over. Then poof, nearly 6 years later, and I haven’t had an outbreak since. My relationship is over, and I literally forgot I even had Genital herpes simplex virus type 1.
Now I’m back in the dating scene, and I feel like the stigma around this virus is so extreme. I have had successful disclosures even one where the person responded, “Hey, I get cold sores too,” which, statistically speaking, is incredibly common.
I can’t believe the shame I felt before having to disclose. It just seems so unfair.
How is everyone going with their HSV 1 diagnosis and are we breaking down the stigma by talking about it with people?

Was diagnosed a couple of months ago from possible exposure from a drunken SA three months ago as had some anal fissure type sores. At the time was told I most likely would never experience another outbreak. Yet I am having the same outbreak now, plus I have like a white single spot that has come up in my pubic area - I think this has been a bit of a red mark for a bit but now has turned into a spot. Will this be the same outbreak?

Do I need to get this swabbed as well? Could it be hav2?

I've also been having oral tongue symptoms which is so far undiagnosed but I had a bad long outbreak a few weeks after the possible exposure and now having similar again just on my tongue. Why am I getting multiple outbreaks in different areas at the same time is this at all normal?

I've slept in a separate room from my partner since as I'm too scared to even touch him at moment as have no idea where I'm infectious. I was obsessively checking and touching all parts of my body at the start so just feel like I've spread this all over my body.

Just finding this all so overwhelming and difficult to deal with. There is no help they don't want to put you on antivirals here and just basically make out it will likely never come back.

I noticed around my period my body may get triggered and do ceartin things where I get alllot of discharge after or before or after penetrative sex

I've gotten use to the discharge but sometimes it irritate the outside of my skin or in my labia where it kind of feels like paper cuts

No smell just white creamy close to yeast but not Yeast or BV

But can be kinda painful when wiping a bit last labia and opening . Like I said before on the labia it feels like tiny little cuts

I've been off my period a full week now if I start taking my Valtrex religiously daily will this help this ?

I have HSV2 for 2 years already. Unfortunately, im one of those who often experience OB. I literally have a flareup every month and am not taking an antiviral too since it’s expensive. I havent dated anyone for a while now because Im scared I might pass it to them. Bad luck though since I have flareups not just on my genitals, but also on my right hand and left thigh.

i woke up yesterday feeling like I’d gotten a burn on my first and second knuckle on my pinky finger.

First knuckle didn’t result in anything but my middle knuckle developed a blister by about lunch time yesterday. Today, the blister popped several times throughout the day when I would bend my pinky. It’s a single blister only, redness appears localized.

I honestly thought nothing of it until I googled my symptoms and this came up as an option. It isn’t all that painful, my pinky is a little stiff and I’d say the blister feels like it burns a little if I mess with it, but if I don’t I feel nothing.

A little worried it could be a herpetic whitlow as it looks like some of the more mild images online.