r/HerpesQuestions

I’ve been diagnosed with hsv 1&2 for over a year. I take daily antivirals. I’ve been seeing this guy for a couple months. I disclosed my status before anything happened. Since I’ve been diagnosed, there has been less than like 5 outbreaks. A few weeks ago, I had an outbreak after being with him. We waited until I was healed. We were intimate several times over the weekend. Now I’m in really noticeable pain on my labia where I normally get an OB. Is it normal? I’ve never had this happen before.

Hello! I’m seeking advice for how to proceed with a male partner who recently was confirmed positive with hsv 2. If it matters, I am a woman in my 30s.

Some context: I am not in a committed relationship with this partner, and that is not what he nor I expect of our dynamic. We both know what it is and are both down for the openness of it.

Symptoms and diagnosis: Recently, this partner was away and slept with someone else a few times. After a couple of weeks after the first encounter, he began feeling some sort of discomfort on his penis and experienced burning while urinating but said he never had a visible lesion. He went to the doctor and they did a blood test that came back positive for hsv2. The doctor did not culture/swab anything because the doctor said there was nothing to swab. In his follow up conversation with the doctor, the doctor told him that if he gets an outbreak that he can take antivirals, but that he does not need to be on them regularly. The testing and conversations with the doctor took place about a month ago in another country.

Disclosure: This partner told me all this when he returned, which I really respect and appreciate. It didn’t bother me, except that now I have to figure out how to proceed as we are not in and do not plan on being in a committed relationship. He says that he is comfortable with whatever I choose to do moving forward. He also said that doesn’t want to take antivirals daily as he has never been a fan of medication. He would take them if he needed to in the future around an outbreak etc. He thinks condoms protect, which I know they do to some degree.

Questions! I’m wondering if you have advice on really anything here. I know there are many risks with sex, and that is why I first and foremost value open communication. Some things I’m wondering:
- Is there anything I need to ask him to follow up?
- Is there anything else I can do or ask of him to protect myself if I choose to continue seeing him?
- Is it more transmittable because it is a recent infection?
- Is it possible he got a false positive blood test?
- If we are committed to condoms, will that help?
I’ll take any thoughts! I should say that I subsequently got tested and am currently negative.

Last week I was in the bathroom at my boyfriends house and opened a medicine bag in the cabinet looking for Advil and saw a bottle of Valtrex with his name that had been recently refilled. He always uses condoms and when we started dating about a year and a half ago I asked him if there was a reason and if he had an STI or if he wanted to stop using them since we were in a committed relationship not sleeping around. He said no to STI but just that he’s very worried about pregnancy, which I have an IUD so am not concerned about. It raised a bit of a red flag because it seemed unusual to me but I accepted the answer and respected that as the truth. Well fast forward now I feel like he’s been intentionally concealing this from me (well I know he has). I’m upset because it feels like my agency was taken away. The guy I dated before him actually got diagnosed with HSV2 while we were together (not unfaithful, symptoms just showed up early into dating before we were official) and it wasn’t a deal breaker for me, and so I feel torn between understanding my current boyfriends anxiety of sharing this but also knowing that if he would have told me, I would have understood. One caveat though is that he doesn’t use protection when I perform oral on him, and I probably wouldn’t have agreed to do that had I known so I feel violated. I know supposedly risk is low but it’s not zero and I didn’t do this with my previous partner because it wasn’t just the boundary of what I felt comfortable with knowing his diagnosis. With my last partner the awareness allowed me to get tested periodically and make my own choices, and now I’m not sure what to do because I feel betrayed and don’t know if I’m overreacting. He also doesn’t perform oral back so it feels like he allowed me to accept the risk without knowing, and isn’t willing to even do the same with no risk to himself. I hope this post doesn’t sound judgmental to toward others with HSV, I just truly feel upset about the lack of disclosure. I don’t know how long he’s had it which makes a difference with risk, and don’t know how to talk about it with him. I also have noticed sometimes he avoids sex and it has made me feel rejected in the past and he’s said he’s just stressed or not in the mood or that I’m too focused on it, but now I feel like he was having an outbreak and just didn’t want to tell me.

My girlfriend has genital herpes and she gets flare ups pretty rarely as far as I know. She loves oral sex and I'd like to give it to her but I'm wondering if it's a smart thing to do.

I have some autoimmune related issues like vitiligo and lichen sclerosus that are most likely caused by long term extreme stress. My current lifestyle is not nearly as stressful anymore but I still feel like my stress tolerance is much lower than before. During more stressful periods I notice that I lose sleep etc. I've heard that stress can cause flare ups so I wonder if it's more risky for me to perform oral? I'm worried about getting constant flare ups because I get so easily stressed.

Any input would be appreciated.

I had a high fever, severe sore throat, and multiple mouth sores about 2 months ago. After recovering from the acute illness, I developed severe, persistent fatigue that hasn’t really improved. I subsequently tested positive for HSV-1.

I’m now in the third month and still feel extremely tired, particularly in my legs and calf muscles. I’ve also been experiencing blurred vision and a feeling of very sleepy eyes.

Has anyone experienced similar prolonged fatigue or symptoms after an infection, particularly after an HSV-1 diagnosis? If so, how long did the fatigue last, and did it eventually improve?

Good afternoon. I've been diagnosed with hsv2 since December 2025 and I started suppressive therapy in Feb 2026. My question is has anyone to their knowledge transmitted hsv2 to their partner while on daily suppressive therapy? I never miss a day and I take it around the sametime everyday . I take 1g of valtrex daily and have not had any outbreak since..I don't think so anyways . This is a tricky disease I haven't seen any blisters, ulcers etc but u do get random occasional tingling and nerve sensations that come and go pretty frequently but I don't think I am having actual outbreak bc I never develop any sores etc.. I just wanna know from others personal experiences to try calm my nerves as I navigate life with this curse . I am in a relationship with someone who is negative and he does not like using condoms even though where my initial outbreak was condoms wouldn't protect anyways but I just need some advice and inspiration or at reality check. Thanks in advance .

Im a 36F and I recently met a guy on a dating app who I instantly connected with. We’ve been talking for a while. I really like him and especially admire how he was upfront about his diagnosis. I am dating to marry and I feel this is someone I can see a future with. I must admit I’m super scared. Not to date but to potentially contract. I know its extremely common and many people have HSV2 without knowing cause they don’t even test for this. I say that to say, I’m not judging the disease nor anyone who has it but I am terrified of getting it. He recently contracted it (that he knows of) and has only had one outbreak. Takes meds everyday. He said he’s had unprotected sex (partner knowing) and has never spread it…well, that he knows of lol! I do know that’s possible as well though.

Any advice for me? Advice for intimacy? Advice for planning for children? Can we ever be intimate without condoms? Should I also go on an antiviral to be safe?

The person I've been seeing (M22) shared a positive test result for HSV1 this morning. (HSV2 was negative) We had unprotected sex on July 23rd, 2026 and he's had no symptoms this entire time but still felt inclined to get tested which he tested August 17th, 2026. I informed him they wouldn't be able to swab him so it'd have to be a blood test which I gave him the heads up about the false positives / negative. When he sent me the test results, I notice it's a DNA test and not IgG which means they would've had to swab. He says he assumed he had a cut from a razor near his pubic area so he didn't pay much mind to it but the Dr. said that could be a possibility so they swabbed that area and that's where we end up at the positive test result.

I (F21) on the other hand got diagnosed with HSV by swab on my genitals Oct of 2023. I never was able to confirm on whether it was HSV 1 or 2 because the swab test didn't mention it and my blood test at the time came back negative for 1 &2. I just assumed HSV1 because the most recent sexual encounter I had was oral sex, so I've always associated it with having HSV1.

Some other things to preface, since I've had it since 2023 I've only had the original outbreak and then a small one 4 months later. Since then I've been asymptomatic and to my knowledge I've never given it to anyone (up until now at least :/ ) even if it was unprotected but of course shedding is a thing.

I guess I'm just in disbelief that this is happening right now and feel incredibly guilty that I could've given it someone. Would it be worth it on my end to get an antibody test again? to see if I have 1 or 2? Surely at this point I'd have antibodies built but still, I've read up on how much those tests can be inaccurate or fluctuate.

I know some people recommend the Western Blot. I had it ordered once I found out the kit was free to be sent but I know you need a provider to sign off and I don't have a primary doctor. My head is just all over the place right now and if I feel this way, I can't imagine how he feels.

Hi guys, was wondering how long it took for people to get symptoms after first exposure? also was wondering what those symptoms were like for people thanks

Hello, i have about 7 dark brown scars on my penis. Pretty sure its PIH inside of scar tissue. They are all flat or almost flat. Anyone here with a similar experience? And how can i fade the color?

Someone I had been sleeping with prior to my diagnosis is considering still sleeping with me. Separate from informing him that he needed to be tested, I verbally provided him with the basic info he needed about transmission and encouraged him to do his own research and take his time getting back to me, but for the future, I would like to provide to potential hsv2- partners with something with unbiased information backed by cited research, that is specifically aimed at helping a person considering being intimate with someone who has HSV2. I feel that the onus should not be all on them to do the research because it’s a lot to sift through online and the information overload they must feel must lead to increases in ghosting behaviors.

got a positive test with an antibody count above 20 after four others that were all combinations of low positive and negative results with and without reflex testing. To my knowledge I’ve never had an outbreak, but I have always had ingrown hairs down there, so I don’t know. I also don’t know if it’s genital or oral HSV2, since I haven’t had a recognizable outbreak. Anyway, the medicines all say to take them at the first sign of an outbreak, so I am wondering what the warning signs of someone’s first outbreak might be for either oral or genital HSV2. If it’s important, I am HSV1 negative and on maintenance Valtrex.

It has been a long almost 5 months of confusion. I slept with a guy in early April and had itchy vaginal and irritation nothing else after 2 days. Later started getting leg sensation, tingles on both legs all the way up to my head, muscle twitches all over body, and leg burning/numbness on one leg(right side), zaps when I’m wearing tight clothes only. most of these came a months after potentially being exposed. I’ve had 5 negative pcr swabs. I go in every time I feel a symptom and always negative. The doctors keep saying it’s not Hsv but I can’t shake it off. I’ve never developed a sore or blisters down there. I’ve developed so much anxiety and stress because of this. Does Hsv work this way? I’m still having vaginal irritation and it’s been almost 5 months. I tested positive for hsv 1 as I knew it would. I get a small tiny red bump on my lip 2-3 times a year so I always suspected I had oral hsv. Has anyone experienced anything like this? We did not have oral either. Should I believe the negative swabs? I also convinced my doctor to prescribe daily antivirals hoping my vaginal irritation would go away but nothing no changes. The doctor prescribed an estrogen cream which helps very little only been using for a week and half.

Is it normal to experience non stop leg sensation for months without ever getting an outbreak? Terri Warren always it’s extremely unlikely to contract in two different places. Not sure what to believe.

Have anyone had/have back to back outbreak & found a way to slow them down or stop them ? I’m having one every 2 weeks need advice hsv2

Got diagnosed with hsv1 with a igg level of 32 without ever having an outbreak .. anyone in the same boat ?

So i just find out you can catch HSV on your fingers, its called herpetic whitlow.😪 So I can't even finger a girl without being worried. 🤦‍♂️

The more i learn about hsv the more i become scared of it. Why do the Medicare industry don't have it mandatory on the testing panel. Now alot of people catch it unknowingly which changes their life forever. Sigh

So I been having tingling and sharp pains in my genital area since all the other symptoms stopped since I started taking anti virals. I want to ask if there is anybody that has had all the symptoms of herpes except the blisters and sores?? I’m trying to figure out what to expect atleast mentally because i mean idk how to feel or what to do. I got my blood test done today though it may be too early….. so after this test I’m going to wait till October to take another that’ll be my 16 wk period ….

Symptoms I had was having burning sensations(penis to buttocks) , tingling, lower back pain, flu like symptoms, fatigue and felt like a fever and I had chills.!

One more thing does the tingling ever stop ? It like just comes and goes

I tested positive for HSV-1 through a blood test, but I’ve never had a noticeable outbreak and don’t know whether it’s oral or genital.
I recently asked my doctor for daily suppressive medication because I’m more concerned about reducing the possibility of transmitting it to a new partner than treating outbreaks. She asked whether I had ever experienced an outbreak, and when I said no, she told me I didn’t need antivirals and recommended L-lysine instead.
My new partner has openly expressed concern and would feel more comfortable if I were taking medication. I would also feel terrible if I transmitted HSV-1 to him without taking every reasonable precaution.
Has anyone with asymptomatic HSV-1 been prescribed suppressive antivirals? Did you consult a sexual-health specialist, another primary-care provider, or a telehealth service? I understand that medication cannot eliminate transmission risk and that an HSV-1 blood test cannot identify the location, I’m simply trying to make an informed decision with my partner.

I also want to preface that I don’t know if this is the right place for this if not please let me know I’m just looking for advice.

So today I (19M) told my girlfriend (20F) that i might have hsv-1, I got an inconclusive test result with elevated antibodies and had a few symptoms. However me and my doctor are inclined to believe that it is positive since i took some antivirals which would have gotten rid of the virus and thus lowered my antibody count for a few days. So i told her about it and how i might have hsv-1 and she responded by saying that its a big piece of info and that we should take a break for her to process the possibilities and to get tested herself. I just feel off because i asked my parents for advice and they said that "If she cant stick with you through this then was she really there in the first place?" which is a solid point but i love her and I don't want to believe that she didn't care that much. has anyone been in a similar situation? please let me know your experiences and any advice you have I'm very worried about losing my relationship and I don't know how to feel about her reaction.

earlier this year a client showed me a fake clear sti screening result and turned out he had both chlamydia and herpes and had given it to me.

for backstory i am 18F and have worked in sex work since i was 15 i make sure to see each clients sti result before agreeing to sex, this is because i am immunocompromised due to a heart transplant 18yr prior. that being said i now have chlamydia (which i have treated and i believe is gone) and this condition which obviously gets worse with lowered immune system which i have constantly. i no longer am working in that field of work and have a boyfriend.
i would really appreciate if anyone had any tips on
1)how to make breakouts less common?
2)do i need medication for every breakout?
3)will i be able to have unprotected sex again without it causing a breakout?
4)will i be able to receive or give head to my bf without either one of us developing it in our mouth aswell.
5)will i be able to have a kid/get pregnant?

any information at all would be greatly appreciated.