u/Valuable-Progress-87

It's been a really long year for me. This is probably the one year I've gotten the most done by far, but it's been exhausting.

I picked up alcohol earlier in the year and I've recently discovered that I can down a bottle of wine and be vaguely tipsy, and I feel it only really gets worse from there in that department.

Money is a problem. Some folk messaged me when I complained about the money it takes to transition and they were well-meaning it seems, I just don't really know them to a level where I'd trust them with something like that. It kind of breaks my heart to say no to something like that but I know I'm a pretty gullible person and I don't want to risk it.

I think the obvious thing I wanted to get out of the way is that I don't feel comfortable in my own body. I wanna tear my skin off. If I could trade bodies or just like gouge my eyes out that'd be nice but the former isn't possible and the latter I need to make money so that I don't die.

I feel like I should feel stronger about this but at this point I've started to unwillingly settle into this body, though it doesn't actually feel any less like a shitty Halloween costume. It's more desensitization than actually feeling it less, I guess.

I don't really know what all I'm trying to say, even. I guess I wished this were easier, but it isn't. I wish shaping up wasn't so hard, and I wish basic tasks like cleaning and getting up weren't so hard. I wish I didn't feel like my closest friend only hangs with me because they feel obligated to.

I wanna say I wish I were normal but then I'd probably just be some random white asswipe, so that's not really a good idea either. I'm glad I am the person that I am, I just wish it were easier to figure out and work through the stuff in front of me.

I tried to shave my legs tonight and somehow failed. I thought it was basically just scrub + apply shaving cream + pull up with razor and done but I'm assuming I missed something because it literally did nothing after like 15+ minutes of attempts.

Did I do something wrong??

I forgot the name of the mountain in Celeste. Can someone remind me? I'm too drink to use Google and can't type properly. Thanks!

I REALLY didn't wanna make a post like this, but it's getting pretty bad and I don't know anyone personally that'd understand. I'm normally not one to make "wah way I'm sad" posts in communities full of strangers, but here we fucking are. Do note, though, I am quite drunk.

My dysphoria is getting worse. My doc never told me that I needed to check in again for Prozac (the thing I've been keeping myself in check with) so I turned to alcohol instead and obviously that was a stupid fucking idea.

Mostly I've been able to handle all the big feelings I'm getting. I've always been told the corny "you're so strong" hogshit about how it's FINE that I hurt so bad because whatever I can handle it it's okay!!!!! Clearly I'm SO strong and I can just take it! Whatever!!!!!!!!!!

Of course, that idea was just an idea, not a reality. I had a pretty bad mental breakdown in the shower tonight. I'm sure others have had worse but this is the first time it's really gotten this bad for me and it kind of made me realize that this is starting to REALLY get out of hand.

I am always boymoding, so I keep my arms unshaven to be more convincing. I guess my body and mind were suddenly not cool with that tonight, because I kept trying to pull my hair out and I kept punching the shit out of my arm mid-breakdown.

I really don't know what to do anymore because if I nonchalantly start doing HRT all of a sudden, my life's just over because the support systems keeping me alright financially will collapse (family stuff). But if I don't, I'm scared that these kinds of instances will only get worse.

I'm not really asking for advice, though it'd be appreciated. I just want to know that someone understands how I feel.

I've made a lot of progress on my voice since the last time I posted, and I'm proud of myself for it.

That said, I went from sounding super fruity to sounding like a "femboy," as some others called it. Or as another person called it, "trying too hard." For reference, I finally figured out and got an understanding of vocal weight.

Problem with that is, now I sound like an androgynous Fluttershy or maybe like a v-tuber or something. If anyone has any suggestions for my situation, I'd appreciate it.

My goal is just to get a passing voice and I thought for a second that this was it but it isn't. It's just much, much closer than before.

Again, any suggestions, tips, notes, considerations- ANYTHING helps. Thank you.

(Posted this in another sub already and then realized this sub exists specifically for the purpose of voice-related stuff. Oops.)

I wanna get into vector animation, so I'm looking for resources, tips, bad habits to avoid, such and such. Anything helps, thank you.

I'm sure you've all heard this one before but I don't see a megathread or anything like that nor do I see a "stop asking that" rule, so.

I'm one of those "I wanna make a comically long and unachievable animated show" types, and my goal isn't to complete it, it's to give myself something to do basically forever.

Been doing some less-than-healthy substances lately and I'm looking for other healthier ways to occupy myself.

So I wanna get down basic concepts and avoid common pitfalls that beginners tend to make. References like YouTube channels or websites would also be really helpful.

Also different methods, I wanna do frame-by-frame but solo animating that is gonna be a huge pain and I wanna see what other methods exist because there's no way frame-by-frame is gonna be efficient OR high-quality in my hands.

So to get to the point, can anyone help point me to a good place to get started? Good communities and such? Even if it's a tightly-knit group I'm sure I could pitch a few things there, anything helps.