u/Various-Employ-2548

I thought working at a small business would be more cozy, support local aussie businesses, mum and pop shop kinda feel, feel less like a robot and more valued, better workplace environment.

But I'm finding it is more micromanaging, gossiping, talking behind staff's backs, yelling by the owner from time to time, critical comments, lots of family and friends are employed so you're basically an outsider, the family and friends can make huge mistakes on a regular basis and don't get yelled at, but you get yelled at for the simplest of mistakes. The family and friends that are employed are praised a lot for the simplest things.

And your job role isn't well defined. You basically do what needs to be done e.g. front of shop, back of shop.

Whereas in a large company, you have a clearly defined role.

We also stay overtime a lot, like half an hour or even 2 hours after our rostered time. We are expected to phone in on our day off to do an unnecessary handover, we are expected to bring in food to share with the staff.

Or maybe I just landed with a toxic workplace.

We are both in healthcare. My brother is pgy1. I'm in retail pharmacy (I'm the sister). We are both in our 20s.

My brother found a job in darwin for 1 year, so it's not guaranteed if he will get his contract extended or remain in darwin after the 1 year is finished.

I do like my job in retail pharmacy, but I don't like the micromanaging and being yelled at or criticised by the owner of the pharmacy. I've never been yelled at so much before as an adult. The last time I was yelled at like this was when i was in primary school. My boss/owner actually yells at me at the top of her lungs in front of staff, multiple times over the past few months. She is usually nice for a few weeks before she suddenly yells again. And she only yells at me.

So I guess I want to find a new job to escape this toxic workplace, have a change of scenery interstate (darwin), and having my brother there will mean I won't experience homesickness much.

I can definitely find a new job anywhere else, and this includes darwin.

But usually, you hear people moving jobs to be with their significant other or their family.

You rarely hear people saying they're moving because they're brother found a job interstate. Is it weird I'm moving to darwin because my brother will be there too.

Me and my brother have both been to darwin for short study trips and we loved it.

My dad and mum met on a refugee boat. Dad came to an English speaking country and then mum went to another country. They stayed in touch and dad ended up bringing mum over to the English speaking country.

Dad was going to leave mum but then she got pregnant.

Mum has never worked a day in her life in this new country. It has now been 35 years.

Dad doesn't complain when he is in the house with my mum or siblings around.

But he complains non-stop and in a very angry and resentful tone whenever I am in the car with him.

He has so much anger built up in him and he just lets it all out when I'm in the car with him, instead of directing it at the person he's complaining about.

He is never wrong. He never complains about himself. He's in his 60s.

I can't take it anymore.

My dad thinks he's 100% right.

He smokes cigarettes. And he boasts about how he quit. But he's smoking right now. He yells at us for going to restaurants but a pack of cigarettes cost him almost $100 each.

He tends to have a frown and he replies to me in a very loud tone "WHAT? HUH?" it isnt a once off. He does that all the time.

He's a little boy in an old man's body.

Also, he is extremely nice to people outside the home. He smiles (and it looks so fake). Fake smiling fake happy.

The entry level staff member asked him to donate when he was paying and he donated his money. But he is very frugal with his own family.

I worked as a casual for 3 years and no longer work there because they dont give me shifts anymore. The shifts were just a few shifts a month.

My boss owns a small business and he doesn't pay super and wages to many employees. A staff member once took him to fairwork to get back the lost wages and super.

Anyway, my boss and his receptionist tend to email me very rude emails saying that i agreed to these casual shifts and that im now pulling out and it has left them in a very bad position last minute. I know i definitely told them I couldn't do these shifts but I said it verbally. I should have put it in writing so that they cant gaslight me.

Anyway, my boss emailed me a few paragraphs last month saying he wants to do a zoom meeting with me and that if he doesnt hear back from me by the end of the month, he will terminate my employment.

I didn't want to do a zoom meeting with him because he tends to just sit there and criticise me and make me feel really bad about myself and also that he usually then writes an email afterwards to recount what was said and he just makes me look really bad. That's why I feel most comfortable just talking through email where he cant twist my words.

Anyway, I replied back before the end of the month and just wrote two or three sentences saying sorry I am currently busy with my full time job. And then I said could you please pay my super as I haven't received any super payments.

And I havent heard back from him since. Do I email him once more to give him another chance before reporting him to the ATO to get back my super?

I read that taking the greyhound bus from adelaide to Alice is exhausting and you need one day to recover once you get to Alice.

And that's why its better to go by plane.

But people drive by car from adelaide to Alice all the time, and this is socially normal.

Why would it be exhausting taking the greyhound bus (a bus driver drives and you just sit on the bus) and not exhausting driving yourself by car to Alice?

I went to college and got first class honours. I work in healthcare (e.g. nurse, physio, pharmacist, optometrist. One of those careers but I dont want to mention which one specifically).

My dad has been telling everyone that I wasnt able to pass college, that i am a college drop out and that i now work at a gas station.

My dad has been saying this because he said "that's what people want to hear" and "people like it when they hear you are failing at life". And dad also said that people react by saying "woah why? Why?" As in, people want to know why I failed med school or failed nursing school etc. And dad just says to them "I dont know, I don't want to talk about it"

Well, anyway, in my country (not the US), if you type up a health practitioners name in the national database, then you can see which suburb they work in and which workplace they work at.

Anyway, someone called up my workplace and told my boss that my dad has been lying and saying I work at a gas station and they found out through the database that im a health professional. Anyway, my boss got me into a room and said that, and I said my dad has been saying that because of the reasons i said above. And the boss said it's unacceptable and let me go that day.

I'm so embarrassed and humiliated. Dad is embarrassed and humiliated too.

I don't know if I'll find another job in this field if whoever dad has been telling is going to keep searching my name up on the database to see where I work and then snitchjng on my boss.

I feel like the only way out of this is by changing careers or just working an entry level job e.g. maybe I should start working at a gas station lol.

And now dad says he will never tell anyone what I do for work anymore. Well, dad, it's too late.

Edit: i work for a small independent business. This means they are chatty, gossipy, talk about family matters, blurs boundaries between work and family life. And my boss said it's unacceptable because it's lying and they can't risk a staff member who is a liar, even though i didnt lie. Anyway, that's my income and study down the drain.

Edit 2: and who even goes out of their way to get me fired. I bet my dad's friends don't even like my dad.

Edit: i didnt become a doctor. But my sibling did. My dad says I work at a gas station and my sibling works at a grocery store.

Is it okay if a boss yells at you once every three weeks in front of all staff, but is nice the rest of the time?

How about if a boss yells at you once a month in front of staff?

When i mean yelling, I'm referring to using a very loud raised voice that is emotionally hurtful. As in, it's actually yelling. But then the boss becomes nice again until the next yelling spurt next month.

This is a white collar, professional job.

Edit: I've been reading the comments. The consensus is that it's not normal. That's good to know. My boss is the owner of the small independent business, so there is no HR, and my boss is set in her ways and thinks she's never wrong. So my only option is to resign.

Edit: i wrote this post because it's become so normalised in my workplace for my boss to yell, but only at me. My boss doesn't yell at anyone else.

My sister has an intellectual disability. My dad has a medical condition that means he literally cannot work, so he receives disability pension.

My mum is a full time carer to my sister, so my mum receives centrelink carer payment. My mum doesnt work.

I don't want to marry or have kids.

I'm currently working full time and sometimes i even work overtime.

My parents are in their 60s, so one day I'm going to become my sister's carer.

If I find it tough to work while caring for my sister, is there any shame for me to become a full time carer and receive centrelink carer payments?

That's what my mum did, but I'm worried I'd be shamed for doing the exact same thing.

The other option would be to work part time and then receive part time carers payment.

My dad gets 30K from disability pension. My sister gets 30K from disability pension as well. My mum gets 30K from carer payment. That's 90K total (tax free). They dont ask for financial help from me.

I'm the intern in my 20s. This is a small independent business.

The boss (50yo) is also the owner.

The boss has yelled at me for all sorts of things. She has yelled at me at the top of her lungs in front of staff.

She's also nice and mean and nice and mean.

If she's not yelling, she also criticises, judges, nit picks, condescending.

She also calls staff "good girl" sometimes.

I'm the only one she yells at.

She is nice. She has nice phases. And then she's mean again.

She wants me to stay for decades.

I've been here for 10 months.

I've stayed here because I've given her many chances to see if the yelling is a once off. But she just keeps yelling.

Once, she went 2 weeks without yelling.

You'd think if I resign, I'd be doing us both a favour. Because why would she want me here if I make her angry.

She has fired 2 staff members this year. One staff member quit on the spot. She has fired other staff in the past.

So she can fire people without notice, but if i resign, she'll take it personally?

Oddly enough, she wants me to stay here for decades and she doesnt like it when people talk about potential job opportunities.

This whole time at work, I've been having a poker face when she yells.

The staff told me they've never heard her yell.

My boss is very good at convincing you that there's something wrong with you.

If I leave, the workplace will make drama out of it for a few days. E.g. omg so and so resigned!

And then a few months later, they will move onto new drama. And then a few years later they'll have forgotten about me.

Or are toxic managers only toxic at work, but are actually awesome people in their personal life (e.g. they are a fantastic family member and would be an amazing friend to have)?

For example, if you had an amazing friend of 15 years called Jimmy. But when Jimmy happens to offer you a job, Jimmy becomes your boss and turns out, Jimmy is a toxic horrible boss and you cant stand Jimmy anymore, so you resign.

And if so, why would someone be a toxic person at work but an amazing person outside of work.

Or is it more likely that a person is toxic at work, at home and in every other aspect of their life, too.

Managers treating you horribly and disrespectfully.

But then get shocked when you resign, and even get angry as well.

So the manager wants us to stay, but also wants to treat us poorly too?

https://ebay.io/m/ndhgPc

Is this ebay bidding legitimate?

If you dont want to press on the link, then type in "ooshie rare bullseye flocked" into ebay.

The highest bid is currently at $50 million AUD.

Which australian has $50 million and is also willing to spend this money on a woolworths rare ooshie.

The other listing's for this specific ooshie is also quite high, but no where near $50 million

I found this out through a news article.

I'm not from the northern Territory. I'm currently working in a metropolitan capital city.

I work for a small independent business, so the owner takes everything personally. I'm the only one she yells at. She also nit picks almost everything I do. And she yells at me in front of staff. She's nice mean nice mean. She fires people without notice.

She's going to be very angry when i resign. I've only been here 10 months. She's been the owner for 30 years.

I will have to provide 1 week notice, or maybe she'll get so angry that she will tell me to leave that very day.

She tends to criticise a lot. So I know she'll say things like I've wasted her time, she's disappointed in me, that i am being disrespectful, that she wasted time training me, she wouldnt have hired me if she knew id quit, im quitting at the worst time since we have just made a deal with other external organisations.

If I say "I'm resigning because I accepted a job offer in Alice springs". The owner would say why am I going to Alice springs (everyone thinks its a hellhole in the middle of nowhere), what is wrong with this workplace, why are you leaving.

Ive been to Alice springs and I loved it so much. The owner won't understand that I actually love Alice springs and i cant wait to go back to Alice.

And I'm worried the owner will make snarky rude critical comments at me. It's just a resignation, and its making me really anxious.

Or are all doctors outgoing and extroverted?

My dad has been abusive my whole life. But I only realised this year that he is actually abusive and that that's not okay. I wish i left home 10 years ago.

Anyway, I found a full time job at a small independent business. And the owner is only abusive to me. For example, she yells at the top of her lungs about once a week. She is nice, mean, nice, mean. I've never been yelled at so much by someone outside the family. Other staff choose to ignore it.

The manager is also mean to me, but not as much. When they are in their nice phase, it makes me think they are not so bad. But then they become really mean again. They also go out of their way to be nice to other staff. They go out of their way to be mean to me. So they are manipulative, even if subconsciously.

Anyway, my unemployed parents tell me to stay employed at this workplace, even if they yell at me.

I dont want to stay. I dont like how my dad yells at me at home and then I go to work, and I get yelled at work.

But what I'm most scared of is telling the owner that I will resign. At any other workplace, if you say you're resigning, they are okay with it. But this small independent workplace is like a cult. The owner is going to be infuriated and angry that im resigning. I'll need to give 1 week notice because I've only been here 8 months. So I will have to awkwardly work the 1 week with the owner being super angry at me. I'm not joking. The owner yells at the top of her lungs instead of just correcting me like a normal person. So she's definitely going to go berserk when I put in my resignation.

I know this is just a job. It's not a prison sentence. And I'm not being held hostage. But I'm really scared of what the owner's reaction will be.

My dad is scary. But my boss is even scarier. My boss criticises me a lot. Im really scared.

I'm the intern in my 20s. The owner has been here for 2 decades.

Edit: i just read my post again. I'm a quiet person but I do talk a lot at work (e.g. owner and manager told me to talk less). I also got first class honours in college and I have a masters degree, I got second highest score in year 12. I just wanted to give you an idea of who I am, as I dont know how I come across in this post.

I made a post a few days ago saying im the intern and i want to quit because i get yelled at so much.

The owner is nice and mean and nice and mean. We were in the nice phase and now it has become mean again.

This time it's worse.

I made a mistake. Im the intern. A senior staff member wrote a huge paragraph in the group chat, called me out by name, and so now all staff know about it.

I'm really worried about going to work now. I'm so ashamed and sad.

I'm in the process of finding a new job but I'll still be here for the next 6 weeks.

I can't take it anymore. I made the mistake and I know making a mistake is wrong.

Other staff make mistakes but they never get called out for it, especially not in the group chat lol. And most of the time, when other staff make mistakes, they don't even get told off.

So I'm the punching bag.

What happens when the punching bag resigns. Does someone else become the punching bag.

Edit: i sound like a terrible intern. But the owner wants me here for decades. She knows i have value, but clearly treats me abusively

Edit 2: I just finished fixing the mistake. Turns out, this mistake was already in the paperwork from a few years ago, but the staff have been overriding it, but didn't fix it from the source.

So me and one of the other staff ran the code from the source and obviously that was the mistake everyone was freaking out about.

So i had to call the external provider to fix the coding from the source. And now it is fixed from the source and not just superficially overriden. So now all providers have the same source code. But of course, I am not shouting this from the roof tops or writing a message in the group chat to announce my revelation lol. So only me and another staff member know that I had to fix it from the inside out.

I'll just let the other staff continue thinking I'm such a horrid person who makes mistakes.

I've been to Alice springs for a few weeks for a study trip. My sibling also went to Alice springs for a few months for a Uni placement.

We both loved it. We didn't witness any crime.

I thought Alice springs only had houses that were single story and just looked like normal Aussie suburban houses.

But when I went on real estate the other day, there are actually a lot of nice two story mansions in Alice springs. For example, a nice mansion for 900K only.

Is it still not worth it to move to Alice?

My dad has literally been yelling and angry on and off for my entire life, starting from my earliest memory of him yelling at me when i was 4yo. He is now in his mid 60s and his verbal abusiveness and self centredness and delusions have gotten worse.

And yet I'm now almost 30yo and realised how verbally abusive and toxic he is and mentally damaging he is.

And yet we all stuck together because "family". But now i know my quality of life matters, since I have lots of mental turmoil and mental clutter in my brain. That even though im 1 in 8 billion people in this world, I matter and my quality of life matters.

Anyway, I was so naive when I was younger. All my scholarships went to my dad. All my income and welfare payments going to my mum and dad. And I even took out some student loans (im not in the US) and gave it to my dad, which my dad absorbed and now i have to pay it back.

I also helped my dad pay off his $30K credit card debt because he said it's better if I help him pay it off rather than him accumulating interest.

After all that, my dad has taken my mum's insurance payout too, which is a few thousand dollars. So my mum hasn't seen any of that money.

And my dad asks me about once a fortnight about how much money I have in the bank.

I wish i could go back in time 10 years ago and left this house.

I thought I was helping my dad out financially because I didn't want to see him or mum suffer. Actually, that is ironic because technically mums and dads don't want to see their kids suffer.

Now I can see all that money went down the drain, when it would have been a lifechanging amount to me.

I've got a full time job now. But it feels tiring to have to start again from zero dollars at almost 30yo.

And my dad has never once wanted to help me.

Despite all of my dad's selfishness and abuse, one thing he can't take from me is time. No matter what, he is 65yo and I'm 30yo. I literally have youth on my side.

My dad might not be here in 10 or 20 years. And yet he can't choose to live his life happily. What a sad existence.

Small independent business. I'm making $34 an hour. I'm the 6 month intern. After my internship I'll make $45 an hour. Someone at my work with 40 years experience and working here for the past decade makes $57 an hour lol.

I made a post recently asking if I should quit because my boss yells at me a lot (https://www.reddit.com/r/auscorp/s/7aeyASu78o). Since making that post, I realise that even if the yelling stops, they are still going to assume the worst of me, micromanage me, and make condescending judgemental comments at me.

I have given them many chances and the yelling and verbal abuse and condescending comments still continue. I will not tolerate verbal abuse and yelling. I can't take it anymore.

I have made the decision to resign after I find a new job and sign a new job contract.

I'm now making this post to ask how do I resign professionally. I don't have a written contract for this current job because the independent owner never wrote one up. So that means the owner might ask me to leave immediately or give 1 week notice. I'll have to resign in person and not via email. The most I'm willing to give is 2 weeks notice.

I'm worried about the exit interview. The owner and manager tends to talk to staff privately in an office and it can take 15 min. I will keep it professional and not mention that I'm leaving because of verbal abuse, yelling, condescending comments. The owner will ask me where I'm going, why I'm leaving, don't you like us, we've invested so much in you, the owner will be disappointed in me, the owner will think this whole time I've been here has been a waste of time. A lot of guilt tripping but remembering the times I've been treated poorly will not make me feel guilt tripped. I have never been yelled at and criticised so much in my life than at this workplace.

The owner always talks about everything at this workplace being intellectual property. So I'm worried the owner will try to get me to sign an NDA. I'll just say I dont need to sign it, i will respect the intellectual property at this workplace and not carry it forward to new workplaces.

And then when I leave this workplace, I dont have to look back and i dont have to answer calls from this place anymore.