u/Various_Zombie_7059

This might be long, so bear with me.

I grew up in the church and was very involved when I was in youth. I took part in just about everything I possibly could, and most of my social life was shaped by church, events, and church people.

When I came out at 19 years of age, it didn’t go well… It didn’t go well in my family or in my church. I was basically told not to bring my gay friends to church and that I needed to not be gay. Two of my three siblings disowned me and told me they did not want me around their children because I had an evil spirit. My mother attempted suicide and my father stopped talking to me like he always had. Eventually, all of these relationships were mended, but it was years of painful interactions.

The church that had been there for me through some very difficult times suddenly forgot I existed.

Seven years later, I returned to the church and decided I wanted to be single permanently because it was the only way I could think of to reconcile my faith and my sexuality. I pursued a theological education and spent 12 years single.

While doing a work term during my masters degree, I met the person who is now my husband. He ruined my plans in a good way. I hadn’t held somebody’s hand in 12 years and I had no intention of things ever progressing with him, but they did.

He moved in with me and the church once again was quick to let me know I was not welcome to volunteer anymore.

For the past seven years, I have had no church to call home. The feeling of rejection and the sadness I feel because I’ve repeatedly been forgotten by people who claimed to love me has been very painful.

A month ago I applied for a job in a Christian organization. It is an organization that has mixed opinions on same-sex marriage.

After being informed, I got the job. I reached out to one of the people in the hiring committee, and I asked very plainly if they were aware, I am a married gay man. His response shocked me and I burst into tears when he said… We just want you to be exactly who you are.

I don’t think I was ready for it… Given my experience, I fully expected something else… Not to be told I should be who I am.

I don’t know how I feel, but I’m really hopeful that this is the beginning of a road that will lead me to truly being able to reconcile my faith and my sexuality.

TLDR: grew up in the church and was shunned, ostracized, and forgotten. Returned as a celibate, gay man, got a theological education… Then I met someone. The church did the same thing again. Several years with no church family later I’ve landed a job with a Christian organization that is giving me hope because they’ve told me they just want me to be who I am, and I am hoping it’s the road to healing.

The memories will be as if you experienced them. You will not inherit any of the coping strategies or emotional healing they have experienced.

The memories could come from anyone in your circle of friends, acquaintances, and work connections. You don’t get to choose, it’s entirely random.

Hey there! it might sound strange, but one goal I had when I first started eating better was that the fridge door doesn’t bump my belly when I open it.

We have a double door fridge and there is an island fairly close to it. In January every time I open the door, it would brush against my belly… And my brush I mean, I could get wedged there lol

This morning, I realized the door had not given me a hard time in a while, and I hadn’t really thought much about it. So I walked over to the fridge and opened the door and looked down to see about 2 inches of clearance between me and the door!

I have lost 66 pounds since January and of course, I’ve noticed many things but this one really showed me how big the difference has been.

A simple Facebook post turned into a breeding ground for hateful comments.

Hey all, I see a lot of posts about people losing weight but hating the process or hating how they are eating. OR a lot of posts about dread over having to track or eat in a certain way.

I started at 350 lbs and today dropped under the 300lb mark and it hasn’t been hard or miserable at all. The biggest change? My thinking.

I spent 3 months conditioning my thinking before I ever started meal planning or healthy eating. I took time to think about my emotional eating, where it started, and why it worked. And I took time to think about what tools I have now that work better than food.

I plan my meals 1 week in advance. I make my grocery list, I follow my plan 90% of the time. I eat foods I LOVE and portions that make me feel full. I track calories, macros, and fibre. I love taco night 😊

No foods are off limits. No foods are bad. And sometimes I plan to eat more than my deficit and that’s ok too!

For anyone with a lifetime of dieting like me, don’t hate it… figure out what is driving the food relationship and work with it. I’m actually loving my food and not controlled by it… honestly it’s made it easy for the first time ever.

I’m excited about the fact that my planning for vacation eating (and returning to a regular routine) was extremely successful and wanted to share in case it helps anyone else.

I track my eating every day on an app and that habit is essential to me losing weight, and I was really worried vacation was going to throw me off my progress (down 31 lbs before vacation). So, I had a rule… I had to record my food on vacation even if I was over, even if I didn’t think it was perfectly accurate… recording was the goal.

The second thing I did was adjust my calories to maintenance, plus exercise (we walk a lot on vacation), and I even decided I’d be ok if my weight went up 2 lbs over 2 weeks on vacation, so I added 500cals to the budget per day.

Lastly, I meal prepped 3 meals for when we got home and froze them, did my planning for the return weekend and made a grocery list to have ready for the day after we got back.

After vacation I was only up 1.5 lbs and now, a week later my progress has continued and down 31.5 lbs! I feel like I hacked a major challenge in my life by being prepared because vacations used to always throw me off!

TLDR: With some planning and prep and freedom to eat on vacation I stayed on track after returning and within a week am lower than my pre-vacation weight.