u/VegetableProof926

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WARNING [this is a very severe and long rant featuring self harm, physical and emotional trauma] ⚠️⚠️⚠️ Just like the title says , i have lost my highschool years doing nothing but studying and neglecting my mental health and being neglected of any care , having my parents give me the reply of "oh everyone is a bit depressed or [insert mental health issue] sometimes", "you just have to pray more!", "you dont have a good relationship with god". For context: im a closeted atheist in my country which makes it even worse being paranoid of everyone , my parents and friends i even got harassed into removing my pride flags in my profile by irl people so i dont seem like i'm a heretic of any sort. I have been an atheist since 2024, why do i mention this? Because this is an added pressure to trying to chase good grades, despite having EXTREMELY ALARMING SIGNS of severe mental health issues, i've had months of hallucinations and false beliefs causing me to fail my As level math exams (ALL 3 OF THEM) , ive done severe self harm to my left arm till it was completely green and my scars took a year to heal. I have reached stages where i got temporarily blind and lost all control of my body harming my mother physically AND STILL NOT GETTING ANY FUCKING HELP . I was the only one in my school to actually take the 3 required alevels as well as the 8 gcse subjects. And i used to travel 2 hours to and 2 hours back TO EVERY SINGLE EXAM I EVER TOOK because the exam center was IN ANOTHER FUCKING STATE AND SLEEPING ON MY WAY DUE TO EXHAUSTION OF 3 DAYS IN A ROW BACK AND FORTH AND CRYONG DUE TO COMPLETE EXHUASTION. the financial burden that got put on me for choosing anything other than the national system is ABSURD. And I WANT TO SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY FUCKING LUNGS, BECAUSE ALL OF THIS AND MY MOTHER CHOSE TO SAY THAT IM CURSED, I HAD TO RETAKE SUBJECTS AGAIN , I HAD TO RETAKE ALL OF ALEVEL MATH AGAIN AND I STILL CANT FUCKING KNOW IF ILL GET THE GRADES I NEED AND I CANNOT HELP IT I AM TIRED BECAUSE I HAD 10 TIMES THE EMOTIONAL WEIGHT OF MY CLASSMATES AND STILL I GET MADE FUN OF AND CALLED MENTALLY ILL AND WEIRD. BUT ITS NOT FUCKING FUNNY I NEED HELP AND NO ONE CARES NOT EVEN MY OWN MOTHER WHO SAW ME CRUMBLE. I TRIED SO HARD , FINISHED ALL MY PAST PAPERS, PRACTICE PROBLEMS AND RESOLVED THEM AGAIN I DID DOUBLE THE EFFORT I WA SSO GOOD I KNEW I WAS REALLY GOOD, I FEEL SO IRRELEVANT, I NEVER SLEPT BEFORE AN EXAM I HAD HEART PALPITATIONS AND PANIC ATTACKS THE WHOLE NIGHT BEFORE EVERY EXAM I FUCKING HATE LIFE TRAPPED IN A ROOM ALL BY MYSELF. all of that while i see classmates taking less classes not even fucking competing and just sticking to going to national colleges. I was the school's first achiever ever in a subject they never even fucking offered. Im tired as an international student all i see is these crazy standards and everyone doing OLYMPIAD , ISEF , OLYMPIAD , RESEARCH , OLYMPIADS ,OLYMPIADS, OLYMPIADS, not to fucking MENTION i was peer pressured to pursue CS and got my science dreams kicked out of the room only until i was a senior did i realize i didnt even want to fucking do this . I truly have been ruined by chasing anything close to this shit, my ambitions are high, but i know i probably will never get there, no matter how unbearable anything is to me all those top or even good US colleges won't care. They dont care, and they wont fucking care. I hated highschool i had insulin resistance , IBS, an ovarian cyst fucking any issue keeps popping up, shitty hormonal changes, i had 2/12 periods in 2024 just because of the stress i experienced. No one will ever care about my story, nor am i ever relevant to them if i dont have major achievements.

I am sorry if i ranted too much or said too much. Thank you.

اللي لاحظته في السور اللي علينا اصلا ، ان حرفيا كل اللي بيقوله

المؤمنين جامدين فشخ، يروحوا جنه

الظاامين ولاد متناكه يروحوا نار كخ

المؤمنين بيصلوا و مش بيرتكبوا الفاحشه

مفيش حد يدخل بيت صلعم او بيت مش بتاعه من غير اذن

هو انا نسيت اقلك ان المؤمنين ليهم جنه و الكفار كخ؟

لا لا شكلي مقلتهاش كفايه

تنوع مواضيع آيات سور القرآن اقل من تنوع مواضيع بوستات الصب ده. بالمعني الحرفي

لدرجه انه خلاص انا بقيت اخمن بقيه الآيات عادي و بجيبها صح، عشان باين انها معموله من انسان نيك 😭

Bro didnt even fucking try, و آه نسيت، dont do zina

Can someone please for the love of potatoes send a link to a pdf pf the entire solutions manual cus ive been surfing the internet 10 billion t8mes and i cannot find it.

Thank you

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT P4?????

EDEXCEL U MADE IT HARDER THAN LAST JUNE FUCK YOU EDEXCWL YOU FUCK ASS PAPER CANT BELIEVE IM ENDING THIS SHIT WITH AN ASS P4

امي كانت هماله تسأل انا صليت ولا لا و انا في ليله امتحان و بحل امتحان بالوقت يعني معرفش اقوم ، الاقيها بتقولي انت مصلتيش؟ طب مش مكلماكي تاني، انا بعد مخلصت هي بقي حطت الاكل لكن حتط ٤ اطباق بدل ٥ ، و قالتلي بنبره صوت ، كأنها يعني مستأرفاني بقا و ازاي مصلتيش خخخخ، من اسخف حاجات هي عملتها، حركات عيال صغيره لول

حد عارف الجامعه دي كويسه لينا الا حد ما كتقبل او اقرب للAUC ولا هي جامعه عاديه بنفس النظام الاسلامجي ؟.