I don't fkin know
I don't know what to choose, i am really stressed out and i only have so much time left for the decision
Repeat in brilliant pala or take admission in private college like scms
When I decide one , I feel like the other is better
At first before seeing my options I was thinking I don't want to repeat at all
But when I saw my options and realised I only have really bad ones and I'll have very good ones if i repeat
So i decided to repeat and took admission in brilliant pala, but just in 2 days , thinking about what I am going to need to do , i.e the how the 10-12 months is gonna be i started stressing , getting sad , scared and all.
Then I realised I don't want to do it , and i started looking again at the private ones , and was thinking this isn't that bad , if I don't want to repeat from my heart than i should choose this itself , and like if u develop good skill and work hard and all ,the college won't matter that much , but it will indeed to extend...
And i feel that if being realistic, I won't get anything from jee and keam is my only hope , and even in keam , because of my pcm mark , it is really hard to get the top most colleges like cet
But still it's one year , I'll probably get tkm ,CUSAT , maybe mec if i work hard and even cet if do very well .
But the thing is i don't like / hate this one year isolation without phone , outside world , and keep on studying everyday.
But at the moment, from what I have heard, I am thinking the pala one is what I might need to choose.
Like most who finished btech says the ones other than the tops are not worth at all , it's useless.
The defence against that is ofc that if u work hard in these privates it'll be enough, but I don't think I'll do that good either.
Between the private ones I have right now and tkm like ones which i probably might get , obviously the top colleges are wayyy better and maybe/probably worth a year. But the only thing is the hate I have towards the pala life.
Online and the kannur brilliant are also not an option. The reason i have in hating pala shows that I won't study much at all/ i won't get much better options in these ones , bcz of the freedom they offer .
So yeah the decision is between wether to take a repeat year even though I hate it , it is really difficult for me. Or to go to the private calmy/happily and most probably destroy ( to an extent)my future.