u/Wd40chronicles

I could hear their dog walking around, I could hear their quiet conversations, I could hear their TV, their singing, their plates - but today, today was special. Lying in bed, it was queit, I couldn't hear anything, just scrolling through my phone, then out of no where I hear a deep, reverberating rumble break the serenity. I don't think I could be the same anymore! I just moved my bed to the opposite wall, always wanted to do it but just kept on holding off out of laziness and because now the bed is just awkwardly in the middle of the room and blocking the entrance, but I just can't do the uncomfortable feeling of my head laying a mere 1mm (seemingly) from someone else's.

I've been to a lot of condos in the Philippines and it seems that the walls are made of lasagna sheets - absolutely no sound proofing at all. Thank God I'm just Airbnbing and can just up and leave at any time. I can't imagine buying and ending up with a permanent place of abode inside a drum 😭 Is this not a concern to people???

So we were feeling egg sandwiches - just fried egg in whatever bread, nothing fancy. Walked up to this burger stall and asked if they had egg sandwiches. It took a ridiculous amount of time for them to get what I meant but eventually they do, "oh like this" she asks, grabbing a fried egg she already had lined up on the grill in one of those metal ring thingies and puts it in a bun she had lined up as well. I go "yes exactly!" and ask how much. She goes "40 pesos." Erm, I'm looking at the menu and it says 40 pesos for a sandwich with a burger pattie, egg AND cheese. This is just an egg, but the same price? Puzzled, I ask "oh same price like the hamburger with cheese?" "Yes" she replies. I show a faint "Asian shy smile" surprise and then pausing a bit to see if she would reconsider - she doesn't - so I say thank you and walk away.

We go to another joint we happened to come across - same setup, but totally different location, different part of town. Burger with egg (and cheese? Can't remember) - 30 pesos. Eggs only (not on the menu) - 30 pesos. This one was even the actual owner, as I later came to find out.

I display the same surprise on my face when she quoted me the price and ask the same "oh same price as with the burger (and cheese)? She responds "yes", the same way as the previous one. This time I ask "what about for 7 sandwiches (we were 3), still 30 or less?" At this point I'm just trying to understand the mentality and it's not about the sandwiches anymore. I'm trying to see if she perhaps quoted the 30 as an impulsive desire to take advantage without putting much thought into it, in which case I figured I provide the opportunity for her to put some thought into it, and subsequently rescind, recalibrate realizing that she would have much more to gain if she was more reasonable. But nope! She insists "yes 30", she confirms. I smile and feign like I am leaving in a last ditch effort to see if she would prevent the business opportunity from slipping. She went right back to doing her thing - couldn't care less. I thank her and walk away.

Idk but if it had been me, I would have seized the opportunity, 3 people, 7 orders, probably would sell drinks too, or possibly other things, chips? I would gain new customers, word of mouth, potential to get more customers through them, and more still through those customers - just compounded perpetual profits. It's a win win! EVEN if I give the sandwiches away FOR FREE, I'm only losing a few pesos but for returns that are MUCH greater. Why is it difficult to see it that way, especially when you are operating a business? How is it even possible to NOT think that way? I find the same way of thinking (or lack thereof) to be very prevalent in the Philippines, almost across all classes of society. It doesn't matter of it's your local vendor or the biggest establishment in the nation - it's the same mentality, the same counter productive way of doing business. "No problem, you can buy elsewhere" is the moto. Is it pride? But then how come no problem asking for money, and then not proceeding to pay back? How come the pride is OK with scamming 10 pesos when you'll subsequently be loosing a 1000. It just doesn't make sense.

I was getting in a Jeepney riding shotgun. I had two tote bags. I placed one next to the driver (or on the floor, can't remember) and turner around to grab the other one I had on a table nearby. But as soon as I turned, I noticed someone else about to get in. I let him know, politely of course, that we are two people, with the whole gesture with my hands pointing at me and 1 more saying "2 people" (I was going to take both seats and pay double), but I noticed he looked a bit puzzled and proceeded to get in still. I got my other bag and I'm standing at the door now like "where the hell am going to put the bag now?" He's looking all confused scooting over closer to the driver for me to get in, like going from 10 inches of seating space to 9 is going to make a difference. Putting it on the floor is not an option because there is barely any leg space even with nothing there. I mumble "I said there will be 2 people." Can't get in the back because it has already filled up. Can't get a taxi because there'd been none for over 30 mins. So I ask "Can you hold the bag?" He IMMEDIATELY obliges extending both hands to take my bag. He puts it on his lap and I initiate the process of deflating myself to fit in. I finally somehow manage to close the door which took several tries because half of me is hanging out, and then sit there curled up, slow cooking.

About a minute later, I jump out of the "I said 2 people dammit" metal hole I had inadvertently fell in, to realize dude is silently hugging my 3 acre tote bag and scrolling his phone with one hand, seemingly unfazed. I immediately realize how wrong that was and the irritation instantly gets replaced with guilt. I apologize and grab my bag, and get this! He says "its OK" 😭😭 I then sit there beating myself up the entire ride.

I start realizing that had it been anywhere in the west, there is probably NO WAY IN HELL that I would have even though of asking someone to hold my bag in this situation, let alone EXPECTING them to hold it. Like thinking about the situation, my subconscious KNEW that he would oblige. It knew because it has come to learn and expect people to be humble and non-confrontational. And the most fucked up part, I took advantage of it! Zero chance people would just sit there holding your bag in their lap in the west. Zero! They would have been like "you wanna take your bag?", or if they thought I meant carry it for me "tf fuck you mean 'hold the bag''?!" 😂

People are absolutely nice here regardless of whether it's "genuine" or not. They are TANGIBLY nice. It's on you if you are illiterate in the culture and can't read between the lines. When it comes to social harmony, Filipinos are one of the absolute nicest people in the world!

OK, now let me see if this has worked in shaking my guilt 😂

Besides "who tf has a wallpaper of themselves?? 😂", it makes me automatically just assume every IG type of photo I see online now for the person in reality to completely look different. Must be a lot of catfishing going on too 😆

Particularly:

1. Is this an expats forum (as in foreigners living in the Philippines) like the name of the sub says, or is it just free for all?
2. What's your stance on Filipino participants? A place labeled expats but with non-expats could be a bit contradictory, tantamount to a bathroom that says for women but then its got loads of men using it, as an analogy. So could you clarify your position on that?
3. What's your stance on complaining? Are you 100% OK with that and will it always be like that in this sub?
4. What's your stance on accurate generalizations? Are you OK with people generalizing based on their experience if the generalization is factually accurate?

Appreciate your forthrightness!