Weed is mental in that it facilitates creativity or deep introspection. Meth's defining characteristic on the other hand is an overwhelming physical stimulation.
I'm looking for a new place - like I have countless times in my life across multiple borders and continents - and what I assumed to be a universal ease of undergoing the process with the advent of the internet, the Philippines is reshaping my entire perspective on the matter (and even of life as a whole) by taking that simple process and making it as painfully complicated as I have never thought a self-preserving-instincts-equipped human could ever willfully attempt to do.
In a rational world, the process is a streamlined machine. You scan listings for two primary data points: photos and price. If those align with your budget and aesthetic, you move forward. If not, you move on. It's quick and efficient - allows you to incinerate like probably 50 ads in 5 minutes. If you're contacting a seller, you're already 90% sold as all the relevant info, you'd already gotten, and the reason you're reaching out is simply to hammer in the final nails. It's a win for everyone; you get what you were looking for faster and with less effort, and the same goes for the seller - they get to sell what they're offering quicker and easier. Logical, right?
Well, apparently logic is a flaw in the Philippines.
Here, the prevailing philosophy seems to be that efficiency is a lack of character and that true fulfillment is only found through unnecessary hardship. The most basic details of the item being sold are treated like state secrets. No price, practically no photos - and specs?? What are those even? Like a game of crystal maze, the whole process is designed for you to jump hoops to unlock the most basic details that back in the rational world you would have blazed through in .5 secs.
It begins with the ritual: Your comment, "hm?" (How much).
They respond with "PM po", which is essentially an invitation to enter a labyrinth of digital bureaucracy.
Time spent: 2 mins - 2 days (on average). If you asked within an hour of them putting up the ad, it would be closer to the lower end. If you asked more than 10 hours later, it would be closer to 2 days.
You DM them "hm po?" (again), and...wait. Wondering the whole time why would they not at least just tap on your name and send you the price in 0.2 secs? You then answer your stupid question with "because that's efficient dumbo."
If you managed to DM them within seconds of their "PM po" reply, then you're in luck because it's the only time you'd most likely get a quick reply. HOWEVER! After you DM them, you have to go back and reply to their "PM po" comment to let them know that you DMed them, otherwise they wouldn't reply until a week or so later.
Time spend: 5 mins - 1 week.
They reply back to your DM with "Yes po?"
You take a screenshot of the conversation crop, attach, send, and... wait.
If you're lucky, you've unlocked the price. If not so lucky, they ask you a question instead, like "how many pax?" (How many people?).
You answer.
If you're lucky, now they tell you the price. If not so lucky, they ask you yet another question, like "for when?"
You answer.
Finally they give you the price.
Time spent: 2 hours - 2 weeks.
Congrats! You managed to finally know the price of a whole ONE ad 🥳
If you're still interested, naturally you'd want to know more details, like more pics of the place and the address - you know, the basic details you should have gotten from the first 2 seconds of seeing the ad. This is when the real game starts.
Oh you thought the game was over?? 😂
My particular favorite part is asking for the address. It's like trying to zoom in on a satellite map with a broken mouse. You ask for the location, they give you the province. You ask for the "exact location", they give you the city. You beg for the "specific location!", they grant you the barangay.
And all this is if your stars were perfectly aligned, because more often than not, they won't even reply, and if they did, they won't mid convo.
When it's all said and done, you'd have spent 2 years worth of mental wear and tear, 20,000 calories and -1 year of progress.
They speak English though! (well, at least on paper) 😅
Today on my way home I remembered this ad I saw yesterday that I took a mental note of. I change course and what I thought would be a quick detour turned out to be almost an hour (probably even more) of agonizing crawling in traffic. I finally make it there, put my hazards on to hop out real quick, place the order and then come back and wait - But nope! Soon as I stop an enforcer approaches to tell me to park ober der - only there was no parking ober there so now I'm back in traffic waiting at the light. I make a u turn looking for a spot I can slot into, but nothing! Turn right but now I'm at another freaking u turn, traffic, right, left... I'm finding no parking! I'm back across the street from Domino's and end up at a paid parking. Park there and walk for several minutes to cross the road and make it to Domino's. I take a picture of the ad on my way in to say "can I have this?" (Because it's easier that way), but just like you've probably guessed would happen... Not available!
The fuck you have the sign up for then!!
They say it hadn't been available for some time. I ask them why not take down the sign then - but of course, no answer!
What do you call that?! How are people OK with this bs?! I feel I'm the only one that this is pissing off and that a local would just meekly and oh so politely say "salamat" and walk away barely bothered. But you spent so much of your time, energy and money! How do you not let that bother you?? And why would you even chose to be OK with it since your complacency just guarantees that it will keep happening and never change!
They could have easily just turned the sign but they rather say not available 100 times a day everyday than do that!
Now I'm just sitting here with that feeling of anticipating food/drink you'd been looking forward to but get zilch at the end 😭, stomach growling, about to pay parking fare and spend more time in traffic - all for nothing!! Swear to God I'm sure wars were started in history because of shit like this (or at least this is a classic making of a vilian 😂).
IDK if that's a net positive, or negative, as it just means I now have lowered standards and I am not only accepting of just mediocre and sub par, but I've also come to expect it in every undertaking, and noticed that I genuinely feel surprised and super happy when even the most mundane things just work out from the first attempt.
I come across a lot of foreigners (well, I don't come across a lot of foreigners, so let's just a lot from the ones I do come across) who are oblivious to the culture. Many here for decades and don't speak a lick of the language and have zero clue about the basics of the culture, ways and etiquette of the land. They just hold stereotypical views of someone who as just arrived. Or just surface stuff that is commonly regurgitated between foreigners. But why thoough?! Why the total disinterest to learn and understand your host, if not out of respect then just to make your life easier? Have you ever spend one sentence googling a question about the culture? No? Why not?
I'm really curious why this is.
I was sitting at the lobby, then approached the front desk to charge my phone. Right then a foreigner and his guest approach to sign in the guest. As soon as he leaves, oral diarrhea commences. I get told his name, what floor he's at, where he's from, how long he's been here, insight on his character, his living arrangement...all in rapid succession and without asking a single question. Pretty sure they would have shared his ID as well as his guest's if I didn't escape. I didn't ask for any of that information and I really didn't want to know any of it. One of my pet peeves living in a condo here - absolutely zero sense of privacy!
For some reason I assumed they categorized them visually - like someone just randomly grabs an egg from a batch and goes "yeah, this one is large"😅 Turns out it's a bit more advanced than that.
I was chit chatting with a seller and made a joke how it must be a serious job someone sitting there and being able to consistently tell the difference between jumbo and super jumbo (I had always wanted to weigh them because I always assumed there definitely was a scam going on, but I just never got to it). They go nah it's by weight, and then show me the chart. Whaaat? 🤯 Now how have I never noticed the chart, or known about this?? Funny though, after learning this I've been to numerous "egg shops" and when I asked, they were oblivious to weights and never had any chart. So turns out it was just luck it happened to be that the first time I asked, the place had a chart.
And then I pop into another place for some fruit, see eggs, and decide to weigh the eggs I'd gotten from the place with the chart to compare with the same size this place was selling - same weight. I'm chatting with the seller about this and they give me another mind blowing info - they (the supplier) actually have conveyer belt type machines that weigh and sort the eggs! Whaaaaaaaaat?? 😂 They shows me a video of how it's done, although I'm pretty sure most probably do it like this.
And guess what? The weight categorization is standardized by the government. So the weight range and sizes you're seeing above, it's universal.
I then I think, you know what, let's experiment. I buy a single egg from every size and weigh each one, and the results were...pretty interesting.
EXTRA SMALL was sold as SMALL
Small as medium
Medium as large
XL as JUMBO
and JUMBO as SUPER JUMBO
So basically every size in actuality was the smaller size. An error if one or two, but probably not when every single one.
If the eggs were actually according to the chart, then MEDIUM would be the best value per tray. This is assuming midpoint of each weight range and accounting for shell weight - which is 9% (looked it up).
If we however go by the actual weight based on the samples I got, then SMALL would be the best value.
The affected areas:
I find the process to be extremely daunting. There are a few very nice real estate listing websites particularly for the Philippines market - Rentpad, Lamudi, DotProperty. You upload pictures of your place, specs, price, and post. Then the websites list your place for the public to see in a really ergonomic way with a nice UI - you know, how websites basically functioned since 1997 - but hardly anyone uses them. They'd rather post on FB with one ambiguous picture, barely any details, no price, a comically protracted process of back and forth to get the most basic information about the place when you message them, and then let the place sit for literally years without being rented. I'd pay to know why this is the preferred method. Like, really, I'd literally pay right now to know the real answer why that is.
And if you somehow managed to circumvent all those hoops, there is the foreigner price markup issue. Yes, you can make a fake FB profile pretending to be Filipino and use AI to translate, but Jesus is that such a daunting process. And in the end, you're likely to still fail because you have to really be Filipino to know how to deal with Filipinos, especially since they are actively sizing you up the whole time and AI can only help so much because you really can't tell how off the translations are. And all this is assuming you managed not to get suspended from FB for using a fake profile, which FB is good at detecting and then keeping you from making another profile by blocking all your devices, numbers, IPs, etc.
So yeah, considering all these obstacles, how do you find a place?
I've never been in a country where it is so difficult to buy things - not because things aren't available for sale, but rather because for whatever crazy reason people like to make it super difficult for you to buy what they are selling 🤯
Thank God for Airbnb, but it sucks knowing that there are tons of more options available that are not on the platform, and for much lower prices. I don't understand why it has to be difficult to get them. Like, you have something for sale, you display it, I see your display, if I like it, I pay the price, and that's it. I mean, it's not rocket science, is it? Why the need to put so many absolutely unnecessary obstacles between point A and B? You're getting the same result at the end of the day, so why waste so much time and energy to get to the result if you can get it much sooner and with a fraction of the energy? If you did the bare minimum, you would benefit more. It seems to me that people are literally going out of their way and fighting to not do it the easier, more lucrative way. Also, how is it not realized that you're actually losing much more money because the time you've wasted with it not being rented out is money you could have been making? Even if you gave it for less than the marked up price you wanted, you still would have come out on top. What am I missing here? Like, really, no guesswork. I'd like... no!.. I'd LOVE to know the actual answer. Just trying to learn.
I know the majority have a crutch wife or a girlfriend to manage these basic life things for them, but what about those who don't? How did you find your place? BGC and such could be easier because of the sheer volume, but what about off the beaten path places? Somewhere by the beach or in a picturesque area? A lot of areas I am interested in aren't even on Airbnb, but I know there are tons of places available.
I hear the best way is traversing the barangays and asking people - that's what locals do. But besides "why tf would you do it like that when you could do it from the comfort of your bedroom?", that's an impossible method to undertake as a foreigner. Between nosebleeds and involuntary instantaneous 🤑, it's an absolutely futile exercise. I once asked a trike driver, exchanged numbers, he never called me but I went to him a few weeks later. He said he found a place for me, which happened to be just a few feet from where they post up - weird he never called if he'd found a place. Anyway, we link up with the owner or caretaker or whatever and I get a tour of the place - an absolute dump for Makati condo prices. Obvious rip off. What's funny is how I noticed that people would actually rather not give it to you than give it for the regular price they would to someone else. I don't know what that's about. Same at the shops. I know what the real price is. I was literally watching you sell the same item for the price seconds earlier. But when I approach and ask and get the expected jacked up price and then politely counter with the real price, it's as if I insulted their mother. They would literally get upset and clam up and not want to sell it to you anymore. So being out there in your true alien form looking for a place I just can't see working out.
Pray tell, how did those who have succeeded manage?
Got these 2 days ago. I was at the same store last night and by chance I noticed the price was for 1/2 a kg and not 1 kg. I got them thinking it was for 1 kg. All the other produce - or all the ones I got - were for 1 kg. So basically their tactic to fool me worked. You think you'd catch a break at a major retailer but nope! Everyone can be the same. The sadder part is locals see nothing wrong with this - like it's a normal part of life and probably that the only thing abnormal in this equation is me not knowing and being fooled, or worse yet, that they would not see it was a nefarious tactic. But I guess that answers my question. Because the majority are complicit. Because it's normal.
Love the country still but it could be quite tiring being on high alert ALL the time 😔
I'd honestly be happier if there were separate price tags/signs for foreigners. Same as what they have at tourist sites. Psychologically it would be much better than the arbitrary price increase, which usually comes after a pause when you ask "how much"
It's not really about the money even. It's about that nasty feeling of being ripped off, with a smile, that you're supposed to reciprocate 😞. So I got cheated (let's just call it what it is shall we), but I'm expected to respect the one who cheated me? And if I didn't, I'm the bad person who is insensitive and racist? How does this one work, exactly?
Anyway, thats not the point of this post.
On several occasions, I've engaged with locals leaving the store with the item I was looking to get. Wanting to stay ahead, I’d casually ask them how much they paid for it, after breaking the ice with some small talk about the item or whatever. Every time, without fail, they would say "just ask." Uhhh, "why can't you just tell me though?' I think to myself. But of course I don’t push it and make things awkward. So I just smile, say thank you and proceed to get overcharged.
They know that I'm most probably going to get ripped off, but they would rather happily lead me to the slaughterhouse than save me from it. Why though??
There is no monetary gains in it for them, the store isn't theirs, they don't know the seller and they probably won't even visit again. Yet, they feel it's better that I am ripped off then not. It's a humongous learning curve for me, because it seems that morally people generally behave the opposite of how I or the average person in a different culture would. So you can't depend on your instinct to predict things.
In a situation like this, I would think the natural instinct would be of camaraderie and a desire to seize the chance to be a good Sam and help out a fellow human. That your conscious would detect the overcharging as a wrong and you'd be driven to correct it. I thought that would be the natural human inclination. But apparently, it's not. I feel like there is some moral imbalance, so much so that I am beginning to wonder if the things I've done which I thought were good were actually perceived as bad.
Again this post is not really about "how do I avoid paying tourist prices?” and the inevitable comment of using a local attaché to do the shopping for you - "I just have my gf/wife do the shopping"
It's more about the societal normalization of scamming, deceit, cheating, lying, stealing. It's so prevalent that it seems that partaking in it is expected and respected, and being honest and fair is "Ugh! Look at that dummy"
Try it! Next time you go out shopping at the market, or the millions of non-mall typish stores, hang back and just when someone is leaving with their purchase, ask them how much they got it for, and then observe the pause, reluctance, hem and haws, and the inevitable "just ask"
I could hear their dog walking around, I could hear their quiet conversations, I could hear their TV, their singing, their plates - but today, today was special. Lying in bed, it was queit, I couldn't hear anything, just scrolling through my phone, then out of no where I hear a deep, reverberating rumble break the serenity. I don't think I could be the same anymore! I just moved my bed to the opposite wall, always wanted to do it but just kept on holding off out of laziness and because now the bed is just awkwardly in the middle of the room and blocking the entrance, but I just can't do the uncomfortable feeling of my head laying a mere 1mm (seemingly) from someone else's.
I've been to a lot of condos in the Philippines and it seems that the walls are made of lasagna sheets - absolutely no sound proofing at all. Thank God I'm just Airbnbing and can just up and leave at any time. I can't imagine buying and ending up with a permanent place of abode inside a drum 😭 Is this not a concern to people???
Image is obviously a meme but the heading on the left is true, like you can see here, here, here and here - how the Philippines ranks top globally for internet usage and social media usage and (this one is funny) AI. But if you stopped to think about it, internet basically = Facebook here. And Facebook controls EVERYTHING!
Want to call someone? Facebook messenger! Want to buy used items? Facebook marketplace! Want to hire a carpenter? Facebook groups (and marketplace)! Want to rent a place? Facebook marketplace & groups! Want to contact a company? Facebook! Want to look up a company? Facebook (no website)! Want to look for a job? Facebook! Want to contact your mayor? Facebook! Want to make an appointment at the hospital? Facebook! News? Facebook! Watch a game? Facebook! Get Information? Facebook!
Facebook has so much data on the Philippines and Filipinos, if it wanted to take over the country, it'd be able to in a single fortnight! The whole country would collapse if there was not Facebook! It's crazy how much people depend on a single (foreign mind you), proprietary, private company!
So we were feeling egg sandwiches - just fried egg in whatever bread, nothing fancy. Walked up to this burger stall and asked if they had egg sandwiches. It took a ridiculous amount of time for them to get what I meant but eventually they do, "oh like this" she asks, grabbing a fried egg she already had lined up on the grill in one of those metal ring thingies and puts it in a bun she had lined up as well. I go "yes exactly!" and ask how much. She goes "40 pesos." Erm, I'm looking at the menu and it says 40 pesos for a sandwich with a burger pattie, egg AND cheese. This is just an egg, but the same price? Puzzled, I ask "oh same price like the hamburger with cheese?" "Yes" she replies. I show a faint "Asian shy smile" surprise and then pausing a bit to see if she would reconsider - she doesn't - so I say thank you and walk away.
We go to another joint we happened to come across - same setup, but totally different location, different part of town. Burger with egg (and cheese? Can't remember) - 30 pesos. Eggs only (not on the menu) - 30 pesos. This one was even the actual owner, as I later came to find out.
I display the same surprise on my face when she quoted me the price and ask the same "oh same price as with the burger (and cheese)? She responds "yes", the same way as the previous one. This time I ask "what about for 7 sandwiches (we were 3), still 30 or less?" At this point I'm just trying to understand the mentality and it's not about the sandwiches anymore. I'm trying to see if she perhaps quoted the 30 as an impulsive desire to take advantage without putting much thought into it, in which case I figured I provide the opportunity for her to put some thought into it, and subsequently rescind, recalibrate realizing that she would have much more to gain if she was more reasonable. But nope! She insists "yes 30", she confirms. I smile and feign like I am leaving in a last ditch effort to see if she would prevent the business opportunity from slipping. She went right back to doing her thing - couldn't care less. I thank her and walk away.
Idk but if it had been me, I would have seized the opportunity, 3 people, 7 orders, probably would sell drinks too, or possibly other things, chips? I would gain new customers, word of mouth, potential to get more customers through them, and more still through those customers - just compounded perpetual profits. It's a win win! EVEN if I give the sandwiches away FOR FREE, I'm only losing a few pesos but for returns that are MUCH greater. Why is it difficult to see it that way, especially when you are operating a business? How is it even possible to NOT think that way? I find the same way of thinking (or lack thereof) to be very prevalent in the Philippines, almost across all classes of society. It doesn't matter of it's your local vendor or the biggest establishment in the nation - it's the same mentality, the same counter productive way of doing business. "No problem, you can buy elsewhere" is the moto. Is it pride? But then how come no problem asking for money, and then not proceeding to pay back? How come the pride is OK with scamming 10 pesos when you'll subsequently be loosing a 1000. It just doesn't make sense.