u/WestQueen

If a company has a 12-month maternity pay clawback clause, how is that usually calculated where additional leave is taken afterwards, such as Parent’s Leave, annual leave, parental leave etc.?

For context, my employer topped up my maternity pay for 6 months, but due to a combination of additional leave entitlements I won’t actually be returning to work until over a year after going out on leave.

Would those additional leave periods count towards the 12-month return requirement, or does the 12 months only begin from the date I physically return to work?

EDIT - it’s not stated in my contract or the employee handbook

If a company has a 12-month maternity pay clawback clause, how is that usually calculated where additional leave is taken afterwards, such as Parent’s Leave, annual leave, parental leave etc.?

For context, my employer topped up my maternity pay for 6 months, but due to a combination of additional leave entitlements I won’t actually be returning to work until over a year after going out on leave.

Would those additional leave periods count towards the 12-month return requirement, or does the 12 months only begin from the date I physically return to work?

My employer has refused my part time request, I am devastated to be leaving my child for 5 days only to have 1 hour an evening with them and weekends cleaning, cooking, meal prepping, laundry… How do people cope with the emotions?! I have literally been crying for 3 days straight over this

The only reason I am going back is because they pay full pay for maternity leave and I would like to have another child

My employer has refused my part time request, I am devastated to be leaving my child for 5 days only to have 1 hour an evening with them and weekends cleaning, cooking, meal prepping, laundry… How do people cope with the emotions?! I have literally been crying for 3 days straight over this

The only reason I am going back is because they pay full pay for maternity leave and I would like to have another child

Returning to work part time query

Just looking for experiences/advice from anyone who’s been through something similar returning from maternity leave .

I’m due back to work next month and requested a four-day week, with one day per week taken as parental leave due to childcare arrangements. We have childcare for four days only.

I submitted a formal written request and my manager has verbally come back to say it’s been declined after discussions internally. They did suggest I could instead use one day of annual leave per week.

What I’m finding confusing is that other colleagues in the company have been facilitated with part-time hours/flexible arrangements, including taking one day per week in this way.

I’m trying to understand:

- has anyone else had a request like this refused?

- were you able to take parental leave in this way?

- and generally how flexible were employers when returning from maternity leave?

Just genuinely trying to understand what’s normal and what options people found worked for them.

Thanks 🙂

11.5 month old baby girl, healthy, active, social, crawling/pulling to stand/climbing, currently teething. Sleep has become extremely difficult over the last few weeks and we are completely exhausted and looking for advice.

History:

- She used to be able to fall asleep independently at times throughout infancy.

- Day naps are usually much easier than bedtime.

- Recently bedtime became a 2–3 hour battle every night.

- Main issue is once placed in the cot she immediately:

- rolls

- crawls

- pulls to stand

- hangs off the cot

- treats the cot like a play gym

- If we try to soothe in the cot she gets more stimulated/wired.

- If we repeatedly lie her back down it becomes a game.

- If we leave the room she cries/escalates.

- We are NOT willing to do cry-it-out.

What we’ve tried:

- Putting down awake

- “Drowsy but awake”

- Sitting beside cot singing

- Patting/shushing in cot

- Letting her roll around and settle herself

- Repeatedly lying her back down

- Rocking/walking/singing until sleepy

- Short consistent bedtime routine (bath, bottle, books)

- Earlier bedtime

- Adjusting naps

- Capping naps

- Leaving room

Current schedule:

- Wake: usually 6–6:30am (we stopped resettling after early morning wakes because it pushed naps too late)

- Nap 1: around 9:30am

- Nap 2: early afternoon

- We were previously letting first nap go 2 hours but now cap it around 1h15–1h30

- Second nap usually capped around 45 mins–1 hour

- Wake windows generally around 3–4 hours

Current situation:

- She often seems exhausted (eyes closing, rubbing eyes) but still physically fights sleep.

- She now often resists rocking/holding too.

- Sometimes she will fall asleep in 15 mins, other times naps/bedtime take 40 mins–3 hours.

- We are spending huge amounts of time bent over the cot singing/shushing and our backs are wrecked.

- She has also started waking more frequently at night.

- Early evening “false starts” happen sometimes (waking shortly after bedtime).

Important context:

- She is very active developmentally right now (climbing/standing constantly).

- She is teething (top teeth recently erupting).

- Feeding is a bit picky at the moment too.

- She is otherwise healthy, happy, attached, playful and developing well.

Main questions:

1. Is this level of sleep resistance normal at 11–12 months?
2. Does this sound overtired, undertired, separation anxiety, developmental, schedule-related, or something else?
3. Should we persist with cot settling or fully assist to sleep for now?
4. Has anyone else had a baby who physically could not switch off despite being exhausted?
5. Any realistic advice that does not involve cry-it-out?

11.5 month old baby girl, healthy, active, social, crawling/pulling to stand/climbing, currently teething. Sleep has become extremely difficult over the last few weeks and we are completely exhausted and looking for advice.

History:

- She used to be able to fall asleep independently at times throughout infancy.

- Day naps are usually much easier than bedtime.

- Recently bedtime became a 2–3 hour battle every night.

- Main issue is once placed in the cot she immediately:

- rolls

- crawls

- pulls to stand

- hangs off the cot

- treats the cot like a play gym

- If we try to soothe in the cot she gets more stimulated/wired.

- If we repeatedly lie her back down it becomes a game.

- If we leave the room she cries/escalates.

- We are NOT willing to do cry-it-out.

What we’ve tried:

- Putting down awake

- “Drowsy but awake”

- Sitting beside cot singing

- Patting/shushing in cot

- Letting her roll around and settle herself

- Repeatedly lying her back down

- Rocking/walking/singing until sleepy

- Short consistent bedtime routine (bath, bottle, books)

- Earlier bedtime

- Adjusting naps

- Capping naps

- Leaving room

Current schedule:

- Wake: usually 6–6:30am (we stopped resettling after early morning wakes because it pushed naps too late)

- Nap 1: around 9:30am

- Nap 2: early afternoon

- We were previously letting first nap go 2 hours but now cap it around 1h15–1h30

- Second nap usually capped around 45 mins–1 hour

- Wake windows generally around 3–4 hours

Current situation:

- She often seems exhausted (eyes closing, rubbing eyes) but still physically fights sleep.

- She now often resists rocking/holding too.

- Sometimes she will fall asleep in 15 mins, other times naps/bedtime take 40 mins–3 hours.

- We are spending huge amounts of time bent over the cot singing/shushing and our backs are wrecked.

- She has also started waking more frequently at night.

- Early evening “false starts” happen sometimes (waking shortly after bedtime).

Important context:

- She is very active developmentally right now (climbing/standing constantly).

- She is teething (top teeth recently erupting).

- Feeding is a bit picky at the moment too.

- She is otherwise healthy, happy, attached, playful and developing well.

Main questions:

1. Is this level of sleep resistance normal at 11–12 months?

2. Does this sound overtired, undertired, separation anxiety, developmental, schedule-related, or something else?

3. Should we persist with cot settling or fully assist to sleep for now?

4. Has anyone else had a baby who physically could not switch off despite being exhausted?

5. Any realistic advice that does not involve cry-it-out?

11.5 month old baby girl, healthy, active, social, crawling/pulling to stand/climbing, currently teething. Sleep has become extremely difficult over the last few weeks and we are completely exhausted and looking for advice.

History:

- She used to be able to fall asleep independently at times throughout infancy.

- Day naps are usually much easier than bedtime.

- Recently bedtime became a 2–3 hour battle every night.

- Main issue is once placed in the cot she immediately:

- rolls

- crawls

- pulls to stand

- hangs off the cot

- treats the cot like a play gym

- If we try to soothe in the cot she gets more stimulated/wired.

- If we repeatedly lie her back down it becomes a game.

- If we leave the room she cries/escalates.

- We are NOT willing to do cry-it-out.

What we’ve tried:

- Putting down awake

- “Drowsy but awake”

- Sitting beside cot singing

- Patting/shushing in cot

- Letting her roll around and settle herself

- Repeatedly lying her back down

- Rocking/walking/singing until sleepy

- Short consistent bedtime routine (bath, bottle, books)

- Earlier bedtime

- Adjusting naps

- Capping naps

- Leaving room

Current schedule:

- Wake: usually 6–6:30am (we stopped resettling after early morning wakes because it pushed naps too late)

- Nap 1: around 9:30am

- Nap 2: early afternoon

- We were previously letting first nap go 2 hours but now cap it around 1h15–1h30

- Second nap usually capped around 45 mins–1 hour

- Wake windows generally around 3–4 hours

Current situation:

- She often seems exhausted (eyes closing, rubbing eyes) but still physically fights sleep.

- She now often resists rocking/holding too.

- Sometimes she will fall asleep in 15 mins, other times naps/bedtime take 40 mins–3 hours.

- We are spending huge amounts of time bent over the cot singing/shushing and our backs are wrecked.

- She has also started waking more frequently at night.

- Early evening “false starts” happen sometimes (waking shortly after bedtime).

Important context:

- She is very active developmentally right now (climbing/standing constantly).

- She is teething (top teeth recently erupting).

- Feeding is a bit picky at the moment too.

- She is otherwise healthy, happy, attached, playful and developing well.

Main questions:

1. Is this level of sleep resistance normal at 11–12 months?

2. Does this sound overtired, undertired, separation anxiety, developmental, schedule-related, or something else?

3. Should we persist with cot settling or fully assist to sleep for now?

4. Has anyone else had a baby who physically could not switch off despite being exhausted?

5. Any realistic advice that does not involve cry-it-out?

11.5 month old baby girl, healthy, active, social, crawling/pulling to stand/climbing, currently teething. Sleep has become extremely difficult over the last few weeks and we are completely exhausted and looking for advice.

History:

- She used to be able to fall asleep independently at times throughout infancy.

- Day naps are usually much easier than bedtime.

- Recently bedtime became a 2–3 hour battle every night.

- Main issue is once placed in the cot she immediately:

- rolls

- crawls

- pulls to stand

- hangs off the cot

- treats the cot like a play gym

- If we try to soothe in the cot she gets more stimulated/wired.

- If we repeatedly lie her back down it becomes a game.

- If we leave the room she cries/escalates.

- We are NOT willing to do cry-it-out.

What we’ve tried:

- Putting down awake

- “Drowsy but awake”

- Sitting beside cot singing

- Patting/shushing in cot

- Letting her roll around and settle herself

- Repeatedly lying her back down

- Rocking/walking/singing until sleepy

- Short consistent bedtime routine (bath, bottle, books)

- Earlier bedtime

- Adjusting naps

- Capping naps

- Leaving room

Current schedule:

- Wake: usually 6–6:30am (we stopped resettling after early morning wakes because it pushed naps too late)

- Nap 1: around 9:30am

- Nap 2: early afternoon

- We were previously letting first nap go 2 hours but now cap it around 1h15–1h30

- Second nap usually capped around 45 mins–1 hour

- Wake windows generally around 3–4 hours

Current situation:

- She often seems exhausted (eyes closing, rubbing eyes) but still physically fights sleep.

- She now often resists rocking/holding too.

- Sometimes she will fall asleep in 15 mins, other times naps/bedtime take 40 mins–3 hours.

- We are spending huge amounts of time bent over the cot singing/shushing and our backs are wrecked.

- She has also started waking more frequently at night.

- Early evening “false starts” happen sometimes (waking shortly after bedtime).

Important context:

- She is very active developmentally right now (climbing/standing constantly).

- She is teething (top teeth recently erupting).

- Feeding is a bit picky at the moment too.

- She is otherwise healthy, happy, attached, playful and developing well.

Main questions:

1. Is this level of sleep resistance normal at 11–12 months?

2. Does this sound overtired, undertired, separation anxiety, developmental, schedule-related, or something else?

3. Should we persist with cot settling or fully assist to sleep for now?

4. Has anyone else had a baby who physically could not switch off despite being exhausted?

5. Any realistic advice that does not involve cry-it-out?