u/WoodpeckerWestern874

My sister is one of the most judgmental and highly critical people I’ve ever met, she always has been. Our relationship has been on the rocks recently so I figured she would be on her best behavior at my bachelorette. Instead, she talked shit to me about almost every single person there. Calling several of my friends dumb, materialistic, and full of themselves. She said something bad about 80% of them. I even told her on the first night to please stop judging them and she didn’t. The trip was less than 48 hours and she couldn’t even hold it together for that long. If I bring this up to her, she will get defensive like always and put it back on me in some way. There’s no winning when I tell her something she did/said hurts me. What do I do?

Usually when you remove a bridesmaid, the friendship is over. Has anyone removed one and remained friends with them?

I’m getting married soon and I’m having my bachelorette party in a few weeks. I have a friend of 18 years who has been struggling with social anxiety for probably the last 7 years or so. We live in different states so I don’t see her very often. Whenever I’m back home visiting family, she will only hangout with me if it’s 1:1. I invite her to my family parties, and she will ask to bring her sister or a friend (that I’m not friends with) 100% of the time. She got invited to my nephews birthday party and asked to invite a friend that nobody knows. She will not go to social gatherings alone. When I texted her inviting her to my bachelorette, she replied saying yes and then immediately asked if she could invite her sister. My bachelorette party is only very close friends and my sisters. I am friends with her sister, but we’re not on the level where I’d invite her to my bachelorette. I said her sister could come because I knew she’d have 5 times more fun if her sister was with her. Her sister can no longer attend so she’s coming alone.

I feel a lot of empathy towards her situation and as long as she’s struggled with social anxiety, I’ve tried to make her feel comfortable and be there for her. She’s isn’t currently seeing a therapist and isn’t on medication. She has been on and off with medication for years. Without getting into detail, she ruined a huge party I threw several years ago when I was moving across the country. I am now stressed that she will ruin my bachelorette. When she’s anxious, she’ll get super drunk and puke everywhere 75% of the time. She will be breathing down my neck and making comments that I haven’t given her enough attention. I’m speaking from experience. I don’t want to be anxious all weekend because of her anxiety. I also don’t want to deal with her comments about not hanging out with me enough 1:1 when I have several other girls to talk to as well.

She is a bridesmaid in my wedding and I’m nervous about that as well. It just feels like she makes big events in my life about her and her social anxiety. I do feel for her, but it gets to a point. Any advice?

I’m getting married soon and I’m having my bachelorette party in a few weeks. I have a friend of 18 years who has been struggling with social anxiety for probably the last 7 years or so. We live in different states so I don’t see her very often. Whenever I’m back home visiting family, she will only hangout with me if it’s 1:1. I invite her to my family parties, and she will ask to bring her sister or a friend (that I’m not friends with) 100% of the time. She got invited to my nephews birthday party and asked to invite a friend that nobody knows. She will not go to social gatherings alone. When I texted her inviting her to my bachelorette, she replied saying yes and then immediately asked if she could invite her sister. My bachelorette party is only very close friends and my sisters. I am friends with her sister, but we’re not on the level where I’d invite her to my bachelorette. I said her sister could come because I knew she’d have 5 times more fun if her sister was with her. Her sister can no longer attend so she’s coming alone.

I feel a lot of empathy towards her situation and as long as she’s struggled with social anxiety, I’ve tried to make her feel comfortable and be there for her. She’s isn’t currently seeing a therapist and isn’t on medication. She has been on and off with medication for years. Without getting into detail, she ruined a huge party I threw several years ago when I was moving across the country. I am now stressed that she will ruin my bachelorette. When she’s anxious, she’ll get super drunk and puke everywhere 75% of the time. She will be breathing down my neck and making comments that I haven’t given her enough attention. I’m speaking from experience. I don’t want to be anxious all weekend because of her anxiety. I also don’t want to deal with her comments about not hanging out with me enough 1:1 when I have several other girls to talk to as well.

She is a bridesmaid in my wedding and I’m nervous about that as well. It just feels like she makes big events in my life about her and her social anxiety. I do feel for her, but it gets to a point. Any advice?

I’m getting married soon and have 7 friends standing up in my wedding. I asked my two childhood best friends to stand up as bridesmaids. Ever since I asked them to stand up, I’ve had a lot of anxiety over it. Both of my friends have made some horrible decisions and aren’t very ambitious. One of them was an absolute wreck in her early 20’s (we’re 27 now) and did some hurtful things to me that people in my life know about and I forgave her for. But within the last year, she got a good job and lives on her own. The other friend is still very lost, has zero ambition, and makes bad decisions. In my early 20’s, their lifestyles didn’t bother me. I just thought to myself, “well we’re young, isn’t this just part of life? They’ll eventually get it together.” Ever since I was about 25 (probably when my frontal lobe developed lol) I have been getting increasingly more annoyed and embarrassed by them and their lifestyles.

Even with all of this being said, I still asked both of them to stand up in my wedding. I laugh harder with them than most of my friends and it feels like childhood friends know you on a completely different level. I only see them a few times a year since we don’t live by each other, and it’s always good to see them. I still felt anxious asking them to stand up because they’re different than the rest of my friends. The rest of my friends live normal lives and have their shit together. I knew I would be an asshole to exclude them from my wedding party with all our history and just because they’re not on the same path as me.

Until other friends/family members started making comments about them to me. Telling me they’re bums, weird, dumb, and questioning why I’m friends with them still. Now my anxiety is on 100. I have been thinking that for the last couple of years, but still have love for them. Other people making comments makes me feel embarrassed and like I’m keeping friends I have outgrown/don’t respect. Is it normal to keep childhood friends like that? How do I not let those comments get to me? Has anyone gone through something similar?

Do you feel like you put up with a lot with your long term childhood friendships? I’m talking about 15+ year friendships. A few of my childhood friends don’t really have their lives together and live like bums, and I find myself still friends with them even though I wouldn’t put up with that with a newer friend. Is it just loyalty?

I’m a 28 year old female getting married in 5 months. Long story short, I asked one of my childhood best friends who has been in my life for 15 years to be a bridesmaid. Our friendship was rough in our early 20’s and she did a lot of shitty things that I shouldn’t have forgiven her for. I picked my bridal party way too quickly and regret asking her. All the things from the past that I forgave her for are giving me anxiety and I’m beating myself up for still being friends with her. That being said, there’s no going back now. Has anyone gone through something similar? How do I get through my bachelorette party and wedding knowing I have way better friends who should be in her place?