u/WorthCaterpillar6990

I'm about 9 months into my first graduate software engineering role and I'm struggling to work out what my role should actually be now.

My company is extremely dependant on AI. Most engineers use Claude heavily, some to the point where entire features are implemented through agentic workflows. It's common for some seniors to have multiple Claude instances running at once, generating implementation plans, writing code, generating tests, reviewing PRs, etc.

The problem is that I'm starting to feel intellectually under-challenged and dissatisfied.

I consistently receive good feedback, complete my work to a good standard, and am trusted with important tasks. The issue is that many of those tasks can now be completed far faster than before using AI.

For example, a typical workflow might now be:

1. Understand the requirements.

2. Think through the architecture and implementation approach.

3. Have Claude generate a detailed plan.

4. Have Claude/sub-agent driven workflow to implement most of it.

5. Review, test and iterate.

The result is that I can get my work done while spending very little time in deep technical problem-solving. I'm worried that if I continue like this for several years, I'll end up with "5 years of experience" on paper but basically zero engineering growth.

I've recently had a conversation with a mentor at the company. His advice was essentially:

1. Use AI aggressively for implementation. Don't waste time manually writing code

2. Build strong foundations in architecture, DDD, system design, trade-offs, etc. Which, as a recent grad, I currently lack

3. Understand concepts deeply rather than blindly accepting AI output, and be curious.

That advice makes sense, but it leaves me with the question:

What should a junior engineer actually be doing to grow when implementation is increasingly automated?

Should I be focusing on:

Architecture and system design?

Reading books like Clean Architecture and applying the concepts?

Building personal projects?

LeetCode/interview prep?

I'm also curious whether others have experienced a similar feeling of being productive on paper (for example shipped several features) while simultaneously feeling under-stimulated intellectually.

For those of you who are senior engineers or tech leads, if you were a recent graduate entering the industry today, what would you be doing now to ensure that I grow over the next 2 to 5 years?

I’m 24M and I feel like I’ve become way too emotionally dependent on the idea of getting into a relationship, and it’s starting to affect how I see myself.

I’ve never had a relationship, never had my first kiss, and honestly being single feels like evidence that something is wrong with me. Even though, the truth is I'm just a late bloomer who focused on studying and setting up my career during college.

Every Hinge match feels like massive hope. I check the app too much. If a match fades, it genuinely affects my mood more than it should. I went on two dates with a girl several months ago, it ended badly after I made a mistake, and I still think about it way too much because it felt like my first real taste of romantic warmth and possibility.

A lot of the time, especially when I’m alone, I get this heavy feeling in my chest and thoughts like:

“What if I never experience real intimacy in my 20s?”
“What if I waste my 20s obsessing over this instead of actually living them?”

That second fear scares me more, because I know putting this much weight on a relationship is dangerous because even if I got one, I’d probably just become terrified of losing it.

I do have stuff going on in my life. I work, I see friends, I go to events, I recently pushed myself to go alone to a social/music event and even performed on stage there. It's not like I'm sitting in my room doing nothing.

But the second I'm alone again, the thoughts come back. It feels like I’m living life in anticipation of a relationship instead of actually living it now.

I guess my question is:

I still deeply want love, but how can I do that without obsessing over it?

Because right now it feels like I’m stuck between:

fear of missing out on love/intimacy in my 20s

fear of wasting my 20s trapped in fear of #1

And both feel horrible.

I’m 24M and I feel like I’ve become way too emotionally dependent on the idea of getting into a relationship, and it’s starting to affect how I see myself.

I’ve never had a relationship, never had my first kiss, and honestly being single feels like evidence that something is wrong with me. Even though, the truth is I'm just a late bloomer who focused on studying and setting up my career during college.

Every Hinge match feels like massive hope. I check the app too much. If a match fades, it genuinely affects my mood more than it should. I went on two dates with a girl several months ago, it ended badly after I made a mistake, and I still think about it way too much because it felt like my first real taste of romantic warmth and possibility.

A lot of the time, especially when I’m alone, I get this heavy feeling in my chest and thoughts like:

“What if I never experience real intimacy in my 20s?”
“What if I waste my 20s obsessing over this instead of actually living them?”

That second fear scares me more, because I know putting this much weight on a relationship is dangerous because even if I got one, I’d probably just become terrified of losing it.

I do have stuff going on in my life. I work, I see friends, I go to events, I recently pushed myself to go alone to a social/music event and even performed on stage there. It's not like I'm sitting in my room doing nothing.

But the second I'm alone again, the thoughts come back. It feels like I’m living life in anticipation of a relationship instead of actually living it now.

I guess my question is:

I still deeply want love, but how can I do that without obsessing over it?

Because right now it feels like I’m stuck between:

fear of missing out on love/intimacy in my 20s

fear of wasting my 20s trapped in fear of #1

And both feel horrible.

For some context, during my childhood/teens I was the videogames and YouTube kid and hence I don't have much experience when it comes to board games. It's limited to Uno and snakes and ladders.

As an adult, I have so much phobia around playing games with friends. It mostly stems from the fear that I won't understand the rules and slow everyone down, or making obviously bad moves and looking stupid, especially in strategy-heavy games. Any ways I can get over this? I know it’s not a big deal in reality, but it still makes me avoid any sort of "game night" like the plague.