u/WrencherLady84

So while I can (and intend) to abstain from sex including masterbating for the rest of my life, I get those urges right after my period ends and right before it starts. I know it has to do with the body's "procreate" setting. It doesn't make me want to change my mind about singleness/celibacy but it IS really annoying and inconvenient. I couldn't care less about having sex with someone but I sometimes want to masterbate just to have the orgasm and not be annoyed anymore. But it violates my spiritual beliefs to do so. Do any of you ladies have the same problem I have and how do you deal with it?

Everyone is different. As long as the love and loyalty is there that's what matters. For me personally, I would prefer either sharing a bed or at least a room with the beds close together as kind of like our "headquarters". To me it's like saying, "We're safe, sis, let's recharge". What about y'all? I'm just making conversation tonight 😊

As a Christian I have been thinking about Proverbs 18:24 and how many people underestimate how serious it really is.

"A man of many friends may come to ruin, but there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother"

Typically, brothers and sisters are our blood peers. The closest form of sibling relations would be identical twins. Twins are known for their exceptional closeness. But let's think about all the many types of interpersonal relationships. They all have a title attached to them yes? And at the time that this verse was written, ancient Israel placed a high level of importance of brotherly obligation. So what is the exact title of a friend closer than a brother or sister? The Bible itself provides a description but no official name for it.

Ready for this? When we go back to Exodus chapter 3, Moses asks God what His name is, God replies in Exodus chapter 3:14, "I Am That I Am". Some translations have it as "I Will Be What I Will Be". God Himself gives us a profound description of who He is but in that moment, no official title or label. We see all kinds of supernatural occurrences throughout the Bible that show us exactly what "I Am" means. His ability to defy human logic is constantly shown.

Our culture does not know what to do with a friendship, especially a same sex friendship, that becomes a lifelong commitment, absent of sex and blood. There's no biological purpose for it so alot of people find it bizarre that a love that strong could exist. People are all about the idea of "more than friends". But Proverbs 18:24 trumps that tiresome phrase. So what is the name of a love greater than brotherhood or sisterhood?

It Is That It Is

Happy Wednesday everyone. I am eager to share something I learned recently. For those of you who don't know, there was a practice in the Hunan Providence of China called "Laotong" and it means "Old Sames". These were a friendship between 2 women that often times was even stronger than marriage. They would even have a contract and a shared fan.

I want an old same, too 🥰.

I just thought this was a really cool thing to share and it shows how our high capacity for deep friendship isn't weird.

Are there any Christian women in the USA who dream to be part of a freelance monastery? Our culture has become so spiritually polarized and I'm ready to quiet quit

The episode Birthday Blues, Season 6, Episode 14

I don't know what the main age bracket is here but this episode aired back in the early 90s. For those of you who are around my age and remember this episode, it pissed me off then and it pisses me off now.

DJ completely forgot about Kimmie turning 16 because she was up her boyfriend, Steve's ass. So she throws a last ditch effort party for her in 15 minutes and Steve accidentally spills the beans about it. Kimmie is highly hurt by this and at the end of the episode, Kimmie in a vulnerable moment admits she misses DJ and feels replaced. DJ's "apology"? It goes like this:

D.J.: “Kimmy, you’re my best friend, and you always will be. But there’s so many things I can do with you that I could never do with Steve.”

​Kimmy: “Like what?”

​D.J.: “Like, talk about Steve. Steve and I can't go through each other's closets, because he has nothing that's in my size. Believe me, no one could ever take your place.”

​Kimmy: “I guess I am one of a kind.”

Y'all, what kind of bullcrap was that? I remember feeling disgusted by that sitting on the living room carpet as a young girl but I had no one to talk to about it. I think alot of us have experienced a moment like that. Who remembers that episode?

As I was growing up, I noticed that on TV and pretty much in society around me, sexual relationships seemed to be the only kind of relationships conveyed that had any real depth, true verbal expression of emotion, or life giving power of it's own. In comparison, same sex friendship especially seemed extremely superficial and touch-me-not. I remember seeing this and wondering what was wrong with me, because I longed for the kind of intimacy I saw in sexual relationships, but the friendship version of it. I wanted the chaste, physical affection of hand holding and snuggling in bed and whispering but it was seen as "weird" by people around me. Feeling alone really took a toll on me for years until I started reading fairly recently about the history of how deep friendship actually was, sometimes even becoming life companions. Did anyone else go through anything similar?

The late C.S. Lewis described friendship as the most angelic of loves. He said that while lovers are depicted as looking at each other, friends are side by side observing the same truth. And why can that not be romantic in its own right? I am a woman who has had 41 years of living to learn who I am and what my soul is called for. I welcome the possibility of meeting a woman who sees what I see and I see what she sees. Imagine yourselves finding a friend like that. You each represent a butterfly wing, symmetrically knit to the same life at the center and you take flight for the mission ahead. And this is why I will advocate for friendship for the rest of my life.

I really believe our culture sees celibacy as a death sentence. Touch starvation is a real issue and we have been conditioned to associate deep physical affection with sex. Lies. Deep, chaste physical affection with your close friend(s) is essential to human flourishing. Ladies, yall got a friend who you see as a sister? Walk down the street holding hands, I dare you. Screw it, have a spend the night, share the bed and tell each other secrets like you're 10 year olds again. Fellas? Got a friend you see as a brother? Do the same thing. Let's make friendship look badass. Celibacy is NOT a tragedy. It's our superpower.