The biggest shock of my life: I had sex with a transgender person. I didn't know that. I asked her at first, and she said she was a girl. It happened in a dark room with dim red lights and in incomprehensible circumstances, as if I were blind. It was just a primal urge. It was my first time having sex; I don't know if it will be my last.
I’ve been looking into land recently and come across a few rent to own plots (1 to 10 acres each) all next to each other, some around or close proximity to a body of water). lots of plots had power to them as well already. there are rent to own cabins or manufactures in the area for a good price.
anyways! whats stopping people from all buying in the same area? we could all band together.
has this model of IC been explored yet?
If you answered yes to all of the above, The Olam Racham (Infinite Love in Aramaic) Community might be for you.
Detailed information can be found in the links below. There are 6 documents, the link to the next one is at the end of the previous one.
Since I am quite busy, I kindly ask that you read all the existing information first, before making questions individually. I will not answer questions whose answers I believe are in the information provided in the documents ;-)
Do not bother looking into this if:
Flier with Mission Statement
https://drive.google.com/file/d/12Gvs0Wy_WywPsjBJ03BOr-Fflz46cPgD/view?usp=sharing
Document 1: 1st things 1st
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1krumzWS5RD7l4LRKOBxwQWHNv4Xn6oiS/view?usp=sharing
Does anyone write or want to share about about how community living affects marriages and the nuclear family?
I've experienced a small taste of how sharing "kitchen table intimacy" with neighbors can blur what would elsewhere be firm emotional boundaries, and how sharing labor outside your own immediate household can shift the tone in "exclusive" relationships, whether or not there is also physical / sexual involvement outside the lines.
I'm interested in hearing others' insights and experiences on this, from both couples and singles living in community, as well as from both parents and childfree folks: does community living inherently challenge patriarchal relationship structures, at least on some level?
Thanks for sharing your own thoughts or any resources I might want to look into :)
Hello all!! I wanted to see if you guys can point me in the direction of a BIPOC community. I am 28 y/o and a licensed social worker, working in community mental health so my clients consist of those who struggle with mental health, addiction & homelessness.
I am a pretty spiritual person. I don’t believe in the bible but I believe in a higher power. I lightly study Buddhism, astrology & numerology. I am also interested in getting my Reiki certification in the next few months. I have some experience with gardening & I am open to learning how to properly care for farm animals.
Not interested in a Vegan lifestyle but open to a vegetarian lifestyle, as the only meat I eat is chicken.
My long term goal is to have a small hobby farm of my own, with a beautiful garden. However, I would love to start with a community of like minded people!
Some have referred to me as the "strange squatter"
I basically was asked to leave. And decided to stay in protest.
The protest was related to a BIPOC centered commune they were initially promising to give land to, and were failing to follow through with. There is also a building on the property that was named after a Zionist settlement, that they were talking about renaming, but hadn't moved forward with for months. For context they rename their communal cars in meetings that take like 10-30 minutes after a mealtime. I realize this is a political issue, but IMO to have a building named to honor a genocidal state says a lot about your positions and policies towards the most vulnerable. (for context I am Jewish and Arab, and was raised Zionist).
My hope was to leverage my position to help put pressure on them to actually make these changes. I was also exploring my legal rights and protections as a tenant in Virginia, while actively facing homelessness.
They hoped to evict me after one day and arrest me for trespassing. At the time, I had already been living on the property for over a month, and was on month to month agreements. I was also already accepted as a provisional member, only waiting for my turn on a waitlist, i think i was 4 slots away when this happened.
The cops did not arrest me that first day, and after my first trial the judge ruled i was entitled to a 30 day warning. This extended my protest way further then most expected. By the time it finally ended I made it to 3 months (with all the extensions for court date scheduling).
At the last trial the judge had ruled in favor of Twin Oaks, and refused to adhere to a recently passed amendment (Virginia code HB221) that is supposed to allow indigent clients to appeal to higher courts without needing to post bond. Technically it doesnt take effect until July 1st. The appeal bond was set at $6,000, essentially ending my stay there.
For context on why I was asked to leave, it is long and winding, but in short, I am trained as a therapist, and was involved as a volunteer on the mental health care team of an individual experiencing a crisis. That individual made a serious threat towards myself and another individual, including threats of arson while in a manic state. I reported this to the magistrate and they were taken into psychiatric custody.
It was traumatic for all involved, and a last resort for me personally that I never want to use. After the incident, I, along with the entire volunteer care team, was essentially scapegoated for what happened, and given i only had guest status (i had not officially started my provisional membership yet) it was easier to target me, and i had fewer protections of processes.
In an unrelated incident there was a fire at one of the housing unit onsite, it was casually suggested people with my housing status (long term guests) be removed from the property to make room for others whos rooms were burnt down. A week prior it was also suggested I leave (unrelated to the fire, the excuse was "we don't call the cops on eachother.") I attempted to defend myself in a group chat, saying that this was "not how to show gratitude" considering my report essentially was protecting those who lived at Twin Oaks. I was asked to leave within an hour of sending that message.
Given the real dangers i saw, it was my ethical duty to report. I am technically protected by a law called "Retaliatory Action" that defends tenants from being evicted after testifying against their landlords in court. In the tenancy trial, the judge did not even entertain this, given my tenant status overall (with basically a verbal month to month agreement) was on thin grounds. Without the ability to appeal i could not bring this to higher courts. The appeal itself could have bought me 3-6 more months at least.
The conditions of my living during my protest were awful. They removed everyone from the building i was living in, leaving me isolated. It was heated by wood fire that was hard to keep going on my own especially overnight, and I quickly ran out of matches in the dead of winter. I developed blood circulation issues in my toes from the cold.
They also cut me off from food and laundry. As well as any rides into town (which was especially problematic when i needed to get to the pharmacy for medicine). I was able to access SNAP for food and get more food from a local food bank, and there was a free ride service called JAUNT that was a life saver for me.
Twin Oaks also instituted a policy of social isolation, they barred anyone from chatting with me, leaving me basically in some form of prison/torture inside of the building i was staying in. Technically i could have left whenever, but this would have effectively ended the protest.
The protest seemed to create some movement on the BIPOC communitty project, but ultimately it failed to materialize, and at this point the Racial Equity Team of Twin Oaks (in a recent post here) is recommending BIPOC individuals not come to Twin Oaks. The discrimination i witnessed there is and was very real.
I'd highly recommend BIPOC stay away. Honestly anyone stay away. This place is fully enmeshed, passive agressiveness is the norm, and their are really problematic power dynamics throughout. I am highly considering the possibility this place is also run by a small group of actual sociopaths. It was awful to experience. IMO stay far away from Twin Oaks.
The basics:
How decisions get made:
The big picture goal: Long-term, we're aiming at space - potentially a moonbase - through federated, self-sufficient communities that each specialize (agriculture, engineering, medicine, design, etc) Short-term, we're focused on buying property, pooling resources, and building real quality of life: labs, gardens, entertainment venues, healthcare.
If you leave, you get back up to half your contributions (capped at $10k).
Still working out details around education incentives, ramping up dues gradually, and whether the moon is really the right north star or if "happiness index" is a better mission.
Curious what others think? I have offered similar ideas before and some people like the idea of a technological community. However, I modified it to be accepting of all kinds of people, rather than just those who are technically inclined. I am only in college now, but this is one of my dreams, in an effort to prove a better model for society.
Hello all. I'm looking to get a gift for a friend. She's mentioned an interest in moving to/ starting an intentional community. I'd love to get her a book on the topic. Are there any books that you could recommend?
Thank you!
PS: I'm not sure if her husband is quite as gung ho about the idea. With that in mind, the more accessible the book, the better. Something she would love, but he might casually enjoy - an introductory text with many photos, etc - would be ideal.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the gap between the life I’m living and the life that actually feels aligned with my values.
The more clearly I see how much of modern life is shaped by systems that prioritize profit over human well-being, the more I find myself drawn toward alternatives centered on shared resources, meaningful relationships, mutual care, and a more human way of living.
I’m a licensed therapist specializing in couples, relationships, and trauma-informed work. I maintain a stable remote practice and have dual US/Canadian citizenship, so I have some flexibility in where and how I live.
I’m not looking for fully off-grid living. Realistically, I would need reliable internet and some form of private office or workspace so I can continue practicing therapy remotely. That income could provide stable financial contribution to the community while also allowing me to offer mediation, crisis management, communication skills, and relational support.
I’m not at the “packing my bags tomorrow” stage. This is exploratory. I’m trying to understand whether there are intentional communities that would value someone with my skill set and mindset.
I’m happy to work hard, contribute practically, and be part of the less glamorous parts of community life too. I don’t need extravagance. I need enough space to work, a place to rest my head, love, and a strong community built around something more meaningful than endless extraction.
I’m also not looking for ideological rigidity or moral superiority. I value open-mindedness and believe people should be free to pursue meaning in ways that work for them, whether spiritual, secular, or otherwise (as long as it is not at the expense of others).
US and Canada are my primary areas of interest.
Would genuinely appreciate perspective, reality checks, or hearing from people who’ve found something like this.
I was wondering if there’s any places in Europe that would allow you to join and acquire your own piece of land if available? I have a budget of around 45k £. Would that be enough to buy enough land enough for a single person (minimalistic lifestyle) and still have enough money to maybe get started on the “dwelling”? I don’t intent to just buy the land but obviously also be an active member of the community, but the desire to primarily have something that I could call my own is strong.
Curios to hear from you guys even with alternatives, any suggestions are welcome.
Thanks
We are a 55+ community…built in 2017….28 homes.
We have a monthly newsletter and use it to educate readers about how we live together.
When we have a home to sell,we announce it in the newsletter.
Check our webpage at www.quimpervillage.com.
I've lived in several intentional communities in the UK. I spent a healthy part of four years among progressive communities. This concept is a pathfinding hypothesis to many of the trouble-in-paradise wrinkles of alternative living, issues of consensus, scaling, informal power, and alternative systems. At the ambitious end, it may be a scalable, decentralised, modular alternative to institution-led governance. It concerns itself with provisionality, subjectivity, transparency, and self-governance, using direct sampling of community sentiment, representation and equality of opportunity. All of these are tradeoffs. It's agnostic to any individual group's why. It's more like an API for communities and connecting communities.
I'm floating this here as thought space. It's free to use or iterate independently. I'm looking for and receptive to any form of criticism, feedback, collaboration, refinement, or perhaps it's a false start entirely.
Github: https://github.com/Alexisnthere1/Distributed-Inference
Has anyone ever offered an unhoused individual or family, space on your property and if so, what was your experience?
Hey y’all! I’m hoping this type of post will fly in here ❤️. Apologies as it’s rather lengthy. I’m Lara Lea from Alabama, born and raised. Here’s the nutshell version.
I returned to Alabama in 2014 after living 16 years collectively in the mountains of Mexico and Lima, Peru. I carry a deep understanding of the healing that humanity is calling for, and fully committed to becoming the clearest possible vessel through which that healing can take form.
After being thankfully ejected from the bowels of corporate America in October, I returned to my family’s estate with 2 intentions: One was to revive the 12 acres that nature was reclaiming since my father died three years ago to its former farm glory, which I succeeded. I plowed and planted and bushhogged, fattened up the animals… all the things. The second was to mirror the healing that I have worked SO HARD FOR to my mother, who clearly hasn’t evolved since high school, and hopefully heal some generational trauma. In this I have failed. She has called me a witch and a blasphemer, and asked me to leave.
I had asked for the universe for a shove in the direction of my highest and best, and that’s what I got🤣.
In light of this, I would like to get as far as possible from Ala fucking bama. I’m eyeing Northern California and the Pacific Northwest. I come with my dog Tallulah, plenty of skills, and loads of charm and intelligence.
This is my Hail Mary 🙏 let’s see where it lands!
My partner and I have been fighting our way through this capitalist hellscape just trying to stay afloat — literally, since we’re currently transitioning out of liveaboard life. During all of this, I’ve spent a lot of time reading through r/urbancarliving, r/urbancarlivingfemale, r/marriage, and r/intentionalcommunity, and one thing keeps standing out to me: People are lonely. Exhausted. Financially cornered. Families are being forced together out of survival instead of connection, and every time someone talks about starting a community, there’s always a chorus of “broke people shouldn’t start communities.”
My question is: Why The Hell Not!?
Should people do their homework first? Absolutely. Read the fine print. Understand zoning, finances, interpersonal dynamics, legal structures, all of it. But historically, hard times are exactly when people need each other most. Mutual support isn’t a luxury. It’s survival.
I’m a NYC native, and while I’d like to stay relatively close to home, I also want enough distance to build something resilient and less dependent on systems that are becoming increasingly unstable. (While maintaining proximity to NYC job markets and farmers markets.) We’ve found a 30+ acre property under 2 hours from NYC with seller financing under $10k a month.
Our vision is to build an intentional, working community with people who genuinely want to contribute and grow something together over time. The property will be placed in a land trust, with time equity as well as financial ones during assignation of shares.
-permaculture and bokashi composting
-ranching/farming
-grass-fed and finished cattle
-shared labor and shared responsibility
-collaborative building projects (yurts, tents, tiny homes, skoolies, etc.)
Between us, we have experience with electrical work, desalination systems, and growing food in tiny apartment spaces, which any NYC grower knows is its own kind of survival skill.
We’re not pretending this would be easy. We know community takes work, patience, communication, and structure. We also understand the legal and social realities involved. What we’re looking for are people willing to share the load, bridge knowledge gaps, and genuinely invest themselves in building something sustainable.
The land can eventually be divided among the community, though formal subdivision isn’t currently in place. The intention is shared ownership of both the labor and the financial responsibility. We’re open to discussing both financial equity and work equity, with clear limits and agreements for both.
Most importantly, we want people who actually want to know and care about their neighbors — and who want to build a life where community is more than a buzzword.
If any of this resonates with you, drop a comment and I’ll DM you.
And to the naturally unhappy folks out there: pour yourself a glass of sweet tea and go watch The Boondocks.
How do you feel about a community that does not allow wifi within the village (and there is no mobile internet due to it being exceptionally rural)? Instead, there would be a building specifically for internet use at the edge of the village, and maybe landlines for telephone usage.
I like the idea of being entirely disconnected from all things digital, people interacting instead of staring at cellphones, but curious if I am alone in this?
If you’re interested in tagging along and chipping in for gas I wouldn’t be mad, gas is a bi**h right now. 28M with dogs. You can bring your pet as well.
Hi. I'm facilitating a security task group for an urban cohousing community of 45 condo units. We are exploring ways we can improve security in our building while maintaining our neighborly vibe. Would you mind reflecting on these questions and replying?
Do you have a security camera(s) in your community? If so, has it been useful? How do people feel about it? If not - why? Has there been an incident where a camera would have been useful?
What security policies have been enacted that you feel have really made a difference?
What security measures do you wish would be put in place?
If you have a way of keeping a log of security incidents, I'd love to direct message with you so we aren't reinventing the wheel!
Thanks!
Hello!
I'm starting a rent based community house. Idk what the exact term is, if there is one. All of us will pay equal rent. Our equal share rent will cover utilities and house essentials. Everyone is physically and financially self supporting. Weekly house meeting, all democratic. All profits go to upgrade house and opening more houses.
I'm really looking for brains to pick on problems or tips, interview and intake suggestions. I'm hoping for people with experience with a similar rent based model with single home.
Thanks in advance. I'd love to talk on phone.