u/X72-9

Five years into this BS. My ex opened with false allegations that were fully investigated and dismissed by both the police and sheriff five years ago accusing me of violence and trying to off her and the kid. These allegations never even made it to court.

Now my 10 year old daughter told the GAL that I hit her and grabbed her by the neck.

I’m completely lost. My daughter and I have an incredible relationship. She’s my princess. She calls me constantly, cries when we’re apart, and I treat her with nothing but gentleness. She draw me hearts and letters everyday, I am the world to her. I have never hurt her not once.

No she told the GAL “daddy was angry and grabbed me by the neck,” I had to take it seriously even though I have no memory of anything like that. When I asked her about it privately, her story changed three times. At one point she said I lifted her by the neck which physically doesn’t even make sense, and there were no injuries.

My honest belief is that something happened while we were playing maybe I held her arm too firmly during a game, something she didn’t think twice about and over time my ex shaped that into something else until my daughter genuinely believes it. I’m not calling her a liar. I think she believes what she’s saying, and that’s what makes this so hard.

I sacrificed everything to secure this 50/50 arrangement. Left a good job. Drained my entire retirement and 401k. Five years of fighting. And now that I’m broke and representing myself pro se, my ex is filing this, on top of claiming I don’t attend enough field trips and skip activities she enrolled our daughter in without my consent and that conflict with my work schedule.

How tf am I supposed to fight that.

Don’t explain yourself → you’ll look guilty
Don’t just deny it → you’ll look like you’re not taking it seriously

I genuinely don’t know which way to go with the GAL. Has anyone been through something like this? How did you handle it?

My daughter is 10.

So I learned from our GAL, that my ex has said that I hit my daughter once because she did something bad alleged I grabbed her from her neck and lifted her. she asked me to meet with her to explain it. That's the first time my ex made such statement, however I did ask my daughter (which I should not have) if she said that to the GAL, and my daughter don't remember but she said maybe I said you hurt me because you were mad at me and you lifted me.

My daughter really believe it. this was alleged that it happened few months ago. My ex never said anything to me about it until I heard it from the GAL and it's news to me.

when I asked her more she referred to a time I hurt her one time while I was Lifting Under Armpits and Spinning around and she did tell me that I hurt her.

I am so confused and I don't know what to tell the GAL, I want to be honest, not dismiss what my ex said but also that's not what happened and I am wondering if my ex maybe coached our daughter to say that? but our daughter is really confused about events and now think I pulled her from her neck. I also don't want to blame my ex and tell her she coached our daughter because I don't know what happen.

I don't know what's the best way to deal with that and not getting a bad report to take custody from me.

Daughter is 10

I learned from our GAL, that my ex has said that I hit my daughter once because she did something bad alleged I grabbed her from her neck and lifted her. she asked me to meet with her to explain it. That's the first time my ex made such statement, however I did ask my daughter (which I should not have) if she said that to the GAL, and my daughter don't remember but she said maybe I said you hurt me because you were mad at me and you lifted me.

So

My daughter really believe it. this was alleged that it happened few months ago. My ex never said anything to me about it until I heard it from the GAL and it's news to me.

when I asked her more she referred to a time I hurt her one time while I was Lifting Under Armpits and Spinning around and she did tell me that I hurt her.

I am so confused and I don't know what to tell the GAL, I want to be honest, not dismiss what my ex said but also that's not what happened and I am wondering if my ex maybe coached our daughter to say that? but our daughter is really confused about events and now think I pulled her from her neck. I also don't want to blame my ex and tell her she coached our daughter because I don't know what happen.

I don't know what's the best way to deal with that and not getting a bad report to take custody from me.

Divorced and need to do QDRO

My ex lawyer suggested to use same lawyer and plot the cost between of QDROs.

I am pro se so I don’t want o get screwed over. Does the lawyer who does QDRO calculate the amounts? Because market fluctuate everyday. And what we calculated last time is no longer accurate. Also my account has like 40k and my ex account has 200k. And I think because hers is bigger it QDRO is more expensive? But her lawyer says the cost of QDRO is the same regardless of the amount.

Should I retain my own QDRO lawyer?

My daughter is 10. Me and her mom have been going through a custody battle, and the court appointed both a GAL and a custody evaluator. They interviewed me and my daughter, and then interviewed her with her mom.

Apparently my daughter told them that I hit her once when I was mad and either slapped or punched her. The problem is my daughter is very smart and well spoken, but she’s also extremely unsure of her own memory sometimes and very suggestible. If someone gives her a version of events, she starts second guessing herself and can end up believing it happened.

For example, I could ask her, “Do you remember when we swam with dolphins?” and she’d probably say, “Maybe, I don’t remember.” But if I keep adding details like, “Yeah, you held onto the dolphin’s fin and it pulled you really fast,” eventually she’ll start thinking it actually happened and repeat it to other people as if it was a real memory.

I have never abused or hurt my daughter. Like any parent, I’ve gotten frustrated before or sent her to her room, but I never hit her. After this came up, I had to ask her about it because I was completely confused. She told me things like, “Maybe I said that, I don’t remember,” and “I think I said you slapped me or punched me or something… I’m sorry daddy, I don’t remember.”

Now I’m stuck because the GAL and evaluator want me to explain this, and I honestly don’t know how to handle that conversation without sounding defensive or like I’m trying to blame my daughter.

After 6 years of continuous court. I am always in panic mode I can’t figure out how to function normally. I can’t sit down enjoy something as my heart start beating and I panic.

I reach for a drink or go on a drive and vape my way to bed. When the kids are here I am busy with them taking care of them. When they go I lose my campus. It’s like having two different lives. The house becomes empty and scary.

I work from home in a small town with no family around. I don’t have friends here as I move here when we got married and since I work home I didn’t socialize nor there is many social events. It’s a small town with mostly older retired population. The next big city is about 7 hours away.

I try to workout, but other than that! I don’t know how to take my mind from the stress and not live in the past and how my life is now ruined.

Any advise? things to do? people to follow? Youtube channels?

Anyone ever used an expert witness?

My issue is simple. Mom set up IOS parental control to not allow communication with my number unless approved. when I call it doesn't show up. when the children call me, a message comes up saying they need the parent permission.

The children shared all their devices settings, it shows they have no other restriction on any App or website except call to my number.

I showed evidence to the court, that it's has been a year and children have not been able to call me. showed devices settings, screenshots, and even mom admitted in her email that the kids devices have parental control and need her permission.

Our court order says that no parent should interfere between parent child communication and children should be allowed to call either parent at any time. it is not the case here.

I wen to court, and the hearing officer didn't hold her in contempt, as usual. she put in her judgment "father complaining about inconvenience, mother is correct on putting restriction on children devices as any good parent does"

The problem is mom doesn't have any restriction on anything, kids have no limits and I have screenshots of their screen time use, no restrictions on adult you tube, TikTok, adult website, video game, Roblox, other calls. zero. they have only one restriction. that is calling me.

I feel either the hearing officer hate me or just stupid ignorant. I objected to her stuff and I am going to the district judge. I need an expert witness who can explain to the judge how apple devices and parental control work. however all expert I found only work with lawyers and charge a lot and usually take big cases between large corporation not simple family court issue.

Any advise guys? anyone know someone who could help maybe?

I’m really sorry for these questions. I’m genuinely confused, disoriented, and have almost no one to talk to.

I married who I thought was logical and God-fearing. Worst mistake of my life. This custody fight is bloody nearly 5 years of accusations: dad’s lazy, doesn’t play with kids, drinks, hooks up with women while kids home, angry abuser. Lawyers, subpoenas, court hammering me nonstop.

Kids count days to see daddy, hug me, say they love me, beg me to teach them, take them to pool/park. I’m their hero. Yet in court I’m a monster.
Truth: I’m scared, broken, hungry. Never touched anyone, never raised voice at mom.

I could give up primary custody, pay support, find peace, travel, make money, rebuild. Or stay this lifeless shell babysitting homework, cooking, cleaning for kids while financially weaker, legally outgunned, emotionally exhausted, geographically trapped, career stalled, depression closing in.

50/50 with a demon ex who has millions is misery. I can’t do it. Is this what a man is? Kids will grow up and leave anyway

When do I say fuck it, throw the gloves, become destination dad quality over quantity and show them how awesome I can be? Am I fighting only from guilt? I love my kids but I can’t live anymore like this

I don’t even know why I’m writing this, but here I am.

I’m 40 years old, and right now I just wish someone would hold me tight and tell me it’s going to be okay. That’s how broken I feel.

I’m not perfect. Far from it. But for over six years I’ve been dragged through hell in this custody war. I’ve been accused of everything under the sun, kicked out of my own house, and stripped of nearly everything I built. And still, she’s trying to take the kids from me.

For twelve years I worked two jobs, every single weekend, no days off unless I was sick. I’d come home as late as midnight or 3 a.m. haven't traveled or enjoyed any vacation except few days at the beach with the kids, grinding so my family could have the life I thought they deserved a $2 million house, nice cars, everything she wanted. I built that from the ground up.

Then she started a secret affair with a divorced guy. then I was served with divorce papers and hit with every abuse accusation possible. I had to fight like hell and win most of it, but the damage was done. She drained our finances behind my back long before filing the divorce, her then boyfriend told her exactly what to do, I lost everything I couldn’t protect. I walked away with $750k in house equity and ended up paying her $109k for her lawyers because she hired a whole team of sharks. I paid her car, her mortgage all while I was living in my car after she got a restraining order against me.

I burned through every dollar I had. She took half my 401k and spent what left on lawyers. Today I have no house, no retirement, no savings just credit card debt I don’t know how I’m going to pay.

I stayed strong for six years. I hit the gym, kept my head up, and tried to be the best father I could for my kids. But I’ve got nothing left in the tank. I just want to cry.

As soon as the money ran out, my lawyer dropped me. Now I’m representing myself against her team of attorneys, and every time I open my mouth they come after me with everything they’ve got. I lost my career, my entire field got crushed by AI. Now I’m making $50k a year in a town with no real opportunities, all so I can stay close to the kids. I do DoorDash after work just to keep my head above water with three children and 50/50 custody.

I’m exhausted, man. Completely drained.

Everyone keeps telling me to give up on the kids, move away, and rebuild my life. But my boys are only 8 and 6. I can’t walk away. I’m trying to pour as much of myself into them as I can while I still have time so they’ll remember who their father is if she ever manages to take them.

Life can be brutally unfair. I wish I can hear some positive stories, those of you who also went through hell and were able to come back strong and better. at 40, it seems everything is lost, starting from nothing seem impossibly and pointless to ever recover.

I know a lot of you have been out of the dating scene because most of you were obviously married for some time. things have changed and I don't want you to make those mistakes.

lol some of you already been smashing on the side so we aren't gonna pretend y'all don't know what going on lol

Anyway, in the last 4 years those AWDTSG groups have been popping out everywhere like mushrooms.

If you're on any dating app chance are someone already is asking about you on AWDTSG, there are many of these groups. these sour bitches don't need to match with you or have a bad date with you, if they see you on a dating apps they want to know everything... and bitches post all kind of shit.. my ex was on those groups and I got posted 3 times lol 1 of these girls didn't even match with her, she just wanted to know about me and find out my social because she thought I was cute.

I know how lonely it feels after divorce, we all want some action and feel like we are worthy of something, get some validation. I fell into that mistake, and the big issue is those dates, food, and shit end up costing a lot of money over time. not worth it.

If you're out there, be smart about it, use some google phone, don't post a lot of your pictures, try to fly under the radar, fuck one bitch at the time, keep records so if your ass is listed on all AWDTSG pages like a criminal, you have an idea who posted you and how to get in touch with that person. anyway, happy hunting motherfuckers

I am trying to get a job at and many people told me that It's so damn difficult to get hired nowadays for whatever reason idk.. I was literally told by a friend who works there "It would have helped if you were a cute girl" I am a guy lol

what's the culture like? also I would appreciate if anyone can share some resources on how to learn sales tactics in that field or in general or some link how to prepare for interviews at intuitive

Thanks,

Hi Y'all, I am a software engineer and with ai the field is slowly dying, my work is decent about 100k/year work fully from home/couch. realistically I only spend few hours actually working, rest is meeting or side things. It is becoming increasingly difficult to break into 150k-200k salary. however it is a relatively comfy/couch career. mostly coasting with my experience.

I work in healthcare software, so I have a decent understanding of healthcare system and devices. I have no experience in sales but I have done two years in customer service rep.

I am highly interested in joining intuitive, idk but I am being very ambitious thinking maybe I can become Ion Clinical Sales Manager and make something like 300k

how realistic is this path? am I being too naive thinking it's something I can reach within 3-5 years? I am sure it is very competitive. or should I just stay where I am? thank you