u/Zaros88

So here it goes. I’m 27 male Latino from the Bronx currently living in Brooklyn. I don’t have many gay friends. I sometimes feel isolated from my community. I was diagnosed with HIV about five years ago and since then put in a lot of weight from my meds and depression. Since then I find it really hard to make friends in the community. I’ve tried going to gay events and bars but it seems no one wants to talk to me. I would like to say I have friends who are outside the community but there are something’s they just don’t get. Any help finding community would be greatly appreciated. I promise I don’t give off as sad as this post sounds but this has been a growing concern for me.

So recently I’ve noticed there are people in my life that I will come to them offering experience in my life to questions they have had. Then they will flat out tell me I’m wrong even though I’ve experienced this in my own life.

1. a friend of mine asked if some one 18 or older can get adopted. I told him yes my brother was adopted at the age of 19. He dead goes I’m going to challenge you and say that you’re wrong. I’m like bro this happened to my brother. Then he was asking a lot of intrusive questions like who adopted him when where how. I answered and he still said I don’t believe that’s true I then looked up the law that states you can he still didn’t believe me. At that point I dead looked at him and said okay and walked away.

2. a friend of mine stated that she was frustrated that when she first came to the city no body could explain local slang to her so words like tight, brick, saying people who were dating were “talkin” she didn’t get and got frustrated that nobody had the language to explain it further. I was like well to be honest when you grow up only hearing the slang words and not being told there proper English equivalent you struggle to explain them so you use sentences like “ you know they not together they just talkin” and I tried relating it to some Chinese words use words that sound the same and look the same but under different context are different. She was like yea no you’re wrong you should be able to explain any word if it’s slang. I dead said okay🤦🏽‍♂️. I get her point but at the same time it’s the her not getting mine so I just smiled and said okay.

I know I’m not %100 right on this but I’m just frustrated at people who want you to so bad to hear their point of view while also denying yours. That’s it off my chest and all. What do yall think about it.

So as the title acts I had a weird day and I don’t know where else to share it on. Woke up both sad and numb. Had therapy before work. Thought to myself that this is the day I open up for real. Only to go to the clinic and then request I put in a wrist band to identify that I’m a client there. This triggered me as I spent time in a psych ward and was already feeling pretty bad. So I wait for therapist to come get me and after 15 mins she comes. First thing I do I try to remain calm and tell her firmly that I don’t like this new way of doing things. She then asks me why and what feelings it’s bring up to which for the first time in years I have an outward panic attack. I very aggressively took off my jacket and ripped off the wristband and balled my eyes out. Once I calm my self we had a productive meeting. I opened up about how debilitating my symptoms are and between that, me opening up about my childhood and my outbursts she cry’s. Which really felt validating because I have a habit dismissing my feelings before feeling them. I then went to work and went about my day like nothing happened. My work was filled with ups and downs I had to say good bye to a long time client if my own. My symptoms went haywire today which again was weird I’m usually more stable. Stood two hours past my time to help my coworkers sign up for company benefits and now going home. I… don’t know how to feel about today. Sorry I don’t know where to post this but just needed to tell some one.