u/_Bookkeeper_07

I thought I was good at reading people until now lol. I had this scenario with a man at his workplace who I’m heavily suspecting he is an INTJ/ISTP (or something very similar) based off of his mannerisms.

He was calm, calculated, extremely aware of his surroundings, and had low key wit/dead humor.

To avoid boring you with the entire story, I’ll summarize it to this:

he seemed to pay more attention to me than anyone else before we even spoke (not words, I caught him looking at me A LOT), I initiated the initial conversation (after weeks of this tension), his responses were measured but included dry humor, and slightly more information than what was necessary, but not rambling at all. It seemed calculated but not stiff?

I asked him a semi-flirty question (with plausible deniability because he was on the clock), and his response was measured with no indication whatsoever of what was on his mind when he responded.

It wasn’t until after I left and looked up said answer to my question that I found out it was a sensual response lol.

I’ve never had such a hard time figuring out what someone was thinking before, yet feeling like I already have the answer.

So, my question to you lovely people is: what do you think is going on here? And, what is your typical flirting style?

tl;dr: A mysterious-acting man is living rent free in my head for the first time and I have no clue if he was flirting with me or not. LOL.

I thought I was good at reading people until now lol. I had this scenario with a man at his workplace who I’m heavily suspecting he is an INTJ (or something very similar) based off of his mannerisms.

He was calm, calculated, extremely aware of his surroundings, and had low key wit/dead humor.

To avoid boring you with the entire story, I’ll summarize it to this:

he seemed to pay more attention to me than anyone else before we even spoke (not words, I caught him looking at me A LOT), I initiated the initial conversation (after weeks of this tension), his responses were measured but included dry humor, and slightly more information than what was necessary, but not rambling at all. It seemed calculated but not stiff?

I asked him a semi-flirty question (with plausible deniability because he was on the clock), and his response was measured with no indication whatsoever of what was on his mind when he responded.

It wasn’t until after I left and looked up said answer to my question that I found out it was a sensual response lol.

I’ve never had such a hard time figuring out what someone was thinking before, yet feeling like I already have the answer.

So, my question to you lovely people is: what do you think is going on here? And, what is your typical flirting style?

tl;dr: An INTJ-acting man is living rent free in my head for the first time and I have no clue if he was flirting with me or not. LOL.

EDIT: You guys won’t let me live this down, so I will give you A TAD more context to a part of the conversation. I asked him (during the conversation) to give me a song recommendation so I could update my playlist. He then asked if I liked the genre he listened to, and when I confirmed he murmured “Alright.” Paused and thought for ~20 seconds, and then delivered a song title straight faced. I listened to the song AFTERWARDS and it was sensual/sexy. Not raunchy.

There you go.

Hey, for context, I’m an extroverted, college-aged woman. I wouldn’t typically ask this type of question, but I could genuinely use the advice.

I feel things deeply internally, and lately I’ve been realizing as I get older and more secure in myself, I also feel loneliness and desire for connection much more than before.

I’ve never been in a relationship, and I’ve focused on my education and career, hoping that I’d encounter someone who shares the same standards as I do. It’s a rare thing when I encounter a man who seems to be compatible with me. But due to circumstances, nothing ever advances past initial chemistry. I get looks, some general flirting, but nothing develops into something serious.

I sometimes ponder if it’s something I’m doing to delay my relationships. Essentially, this has been my love life for a while now.

With all of this, I’ve found myself struggling to ignore my feelings within the past year. I know it isn’t wise to jump into any relationship out of loneliness either.

So, I’ve been balancing wanting closeness, intimacy, and someone who I can confide in, and simultaneously refusing to settle for toxicity or shallow relationships just because I’m lonely.

I’m curious if anyone else relates to this, or how you handle it without becoming emotionally shut down?

Thank you.

Hey, for context, I’m an ENTJ, college-aged woman. I wouldn’t typically ask this type of question, but I think that other ENTJs would have the best advice/suggestions for something as complex as this.

I feel things deeply internally, and lately I’ve been realizing as I get older and more secure in myself, I also feel loneliness and desire for connection much more than before.

I’ve never been in a relationship, and I’ve focused on my education and career, hoping that I’d encounter someone who shares the same standards as I do. It’s a rare thing when I encounter a man who seems to be compatible with me. But due to circumstances, nothing ever advances past initial chemistry. I get looks, some general flirting, but nothing develops into something serious.

I think I might unintentionally intimidate people even when I try to be charismatic. I’ve been told that I can sometimes come off as “put together”, and that makes people intimated. I sometimes ponder if it’s something I’m doing to delay my relationships.

Essentially, this has been my love life for a while now.

With all of this, I’ve found myself struggling to ignore my feelings within the past year. I know it isn’t wise to jump into any relationship out of loneliness either.

So, I’ve been balancing wanting closeness, intimacy, and someone who I can confide in, and simultaneously refusing to settle for toxicity or shallow relationships just because I’m lonely.

I’m curious if anyone else relates to this, or how you handle it without becoming emotionally shut down?

Thank you.