Husband is overthinking my new career path
I (32F) very recently got fired after finishing my maternity leave. It was a job in a very toxic environment, that I wanted to leave anyway eventually so I took it as a “kick in the butt” to go find something that will finally feel fulfilling to me.
And I found exactly what I was looking for, only a few weeks later. It’s a job that is not directly in my field of studies - but very close to it. The only catch is, I have to go back to school for it (alongside work) to get the proper education level and credentials. The extra studies will take about two years to finish.
My husband (36M) knew about it. I never hid or lied or omitted the fact, that I will have to go back to school for a while. We had a long discussion about whether I should accept this opportunity or not and he pushed me to take it. He knew how much I wanted this job. He seemed and said he was very happy for me, to finally have a job that can become my career - not just something to make ends meet. I told him that he & our kids grandma’s will have to step up for the first two years - until I finish my studies. He agreed and said we’ll make it work.
I start in two weeks and I brought up the subject to him today, so we could start figuring out the arrangements about childcare and what not.
I told him my mom (who is still working full time, mind you) offered to take our eldest to daycare & asked him to ask his mom (his mom is a lot to deal with, but she’s retired so she’s the only one who can actually jump in when we need her) to take our youngest as they will have to go to different daycares. He got frustrated by this offer, saying how he doesn’t trust any of them to hold up their end of the bargain. Which is valid, they both have been known to have their moments where they back out of an agreement in the last minute. But at the same time, I am going back to work and school full time, and he also works full time. We can’t really afford a nanny and they’re both enrolled in daycare anyway.
Anyway it spiralled from there from 0-100. Considering how it turned out I am kind of glad I didn’t bring up the issue of daycare illnesses up along the other arrangements. It ended up turning into a screaming match about how “Two years is too long” and how I better make sure I get accepted for studies into a school that offers online courses as if I have a final say in the matter. My GPA from uni was good, but if there is to many people who apply, the online school will take the people with highest score first - and I don’t know what kind of scores other applicants have.
The fight ended up with him saying how I should’ve made this move before we had kids. He was the one who pushed to have kids as soon as possible. I was fine with waiting a bit longer, but he thought his biological clock was ticking or some shit. I was essentially a SAHM mom from 2024 to now (high risk pregnancy that pit me on bedrest + mat leave), so maybe a part of that plays into this whole thing?
Am I overreacting? Am I the JustNoSO here?