u/_caalypso-111

This album means so much to me y'all have no idea

+ monochrome never fails to make my heart ache🥹💔

Good job lovejoy!!

💔

mental condition: It felt to me as if i didn't belong anywhere. i didn't wanna stay at home and I didn't wanna go out either. i didn't want my family around me nor did I want my friends around me. but i craved human affection like anything. i ignored texts. talking felt like a chore. i didn't tell anyone about this because I've never been good at expressing my thoughts. I can't cry even when it hurts, I cant get the tears out. so it felt heavy on my chest I think.

physical condition: I have had a history of sometimes having low blood pressure but not that low that it makes me faint. i sometimes have low iron. recently I started feeling that 'dizzy when you stand's thing again. but other than that, physically I feel fine. My blood pressure has been normal as well

thing that happened that I need to go to a doctor for: So I was feeling bummed out again the whole day. Really lonely. i wanted to cry but couldn't get it out again. and then at around 9 pm my chest started feeling heavy and I was feeling nauseous.

That transformed into having trouble breathing. My body felt numb. my head was spinning so much that it felt like I was falling even though I was laying down. my head felt like it was being smushed around, I can't even describe the feeling. i wanted to tear my hair out to make it stop. my hands and legs felt restless, tingling, kinda like adrenaline. it felt like only hurting myself would calm them down. so i started scratching at my arms and legs to try to make it go away.

Slowly tears started coming out. It felt like if I cried my heart out for once, it would stop. i started lightly sobbing and it did feel good to cry. but i couldn't do it much with my mom with me. i didn't want to give her that sight.

An hour later, the rest of the sensations calmed down but my body felt extremely weak. i had to hold onto my mom for support while walking and i still had trouble breathing

Then came the migraine. i do have a history of migraines. it was at the back of my head. it made me feel extremely nauseous, like I was just about to vomit. but the vomit never came. I fell asleep 2-3 hours later.

It is the morning after right now and I feel weak, slightly nauseous and some trouble breathing

Age: 17, Height: 5'3, Weight: 60, On no medications, i don't smoke

So me and my best friend, we met on a SUBREDDIT last year. The way we met was, on a post I had commented my country and she got really excited to find someone from the same country as her. Then I got really excited and we started talking. We shared our instagram and instantly clicked. it was like we had known eachother for so many years. she was from a different state than me so we've never actually met eachother

And we have friend-ed so hard to the point that our periods have synced up despite us never meeting eachother😭😭

So me and my best friend, we met on a SUBREDDIT last year. The way we met was, on a post I had commented my country and she got really excited to find someone from the same country as her. Then I got really excited and we started talking. We shared our instagram and instantly clicked. it was like we had known eachother for so many years. she was from a different state than me so we've never actually met eachother

And we have friend-ed so hard to the point that our periods have synced up despite us never meeting eachother😭😭

if anyone remembers

"There's a shard of glass under your smile

And a shattered pane inside your voice"

From my perspective, it sounds like these lyrics are referring to the people that try and psychoanalyse people they have never spoken to (like some are doing with Wilbur). Going like "his smile looks like he's hiding something, there's pain in his voice". I've seen a lot of people on X doing this

"I hope you die before i do, i do"

After wedding vows, the couple say "I do". So these lyrics could mean that the person wants Wilbur to die before he gets to say "I do", before he ever becomes someone else's

"Medicate the cogs that turn too well

Dulled teeth can't drive the carousel"

Medicating the cogs could tie to altering the cogs of a clock, the cogs that turn too well, making time pass, making Wilbur age

The aging thing also comes in the next line

Dulled teeth, you get from aging. Wilbur's career is entertainment, almost the same category a carousel falls under. It's for public amusement. Dulled teeth not being able to drive a carousel leans towards: If Wilbur continues aging, he won't be able to amuse his audience, amuse obsessive people. So

"I hope you die before i do, i do"

'I hope you die before i get to see you old enough to not constantly amuse us'

The lyrics relating to parasocial relationships between CCs and the audience are chilling. Wilburs vocals are wonderful AND the production is absolutely amazing!! Favourite song from the EP

Edit: did a deeper look into the lyrics and i genuinely got chills. Also after watching what Wilbur had to say about the meaning of that song is just.. i haven't got much to say, it's a really creepy and well written song with amazing vocals

sad💔

is the studio version actually FINALLY gonna have the "in sickness in health" thing? that's absolutely sick

the live gig is at 1:30 am for me

I'll probably have to miss it :(

When I first heard touch i 100% remember hearing it before. I genuinely thought it was a cover they did and the original song was someone else's. I remember doing the dance as well but now I can't find the "original" touch or where I got the familiarity from. Does anyone else feel this way?