games i added to my collection since the start of may: darkest dungeon 2, pragmata, MHS3, MK World, and labyrinth of galleria.
currently playing MHS3 and enjoying it a lot! also started pragmata. never played the demo and am happy to discover that the hacking and shooting combat system is something i find really fun.
looking to get a few more games before the month ends!
acquired these slings over the past week! loving the toshi rework 6L so much. thought it would be too big but it's perfect for my use case and im enjoying using the straps to secure a small umbrella haha. the other is a gouache harvey waxed canvas camera sling. it's a local, philippine made bag brand and i just found it interesting. it has adjustable dividers inside but im not going to use this for a camera.
just wanted to share my new stuff!
my new aer slim pack 2 in cordura arrived today! decided to get it since i wanted a smaller backpack for lighter work days out when i only really want to carry my tech and some notebooks and pens. found that while the able carry daily plus was perfect for my usual loadout, it did feel a tad too big when I didn't want to bring too many things. i was deciding between this and the able carry thirteen and ultimately went with aer for the aesthetic and the familiar layout (i had the OG slim pack but gave it to my sister).
it's aer, so it's comfortable, and one thing i really wished the OG slim pack had was back padding. this one has it and it's really nice and cushiony. I haven't taken it out for a spin yet and have just been walking around at home with the bag packed out, so the real comfort test begins when i take it out over the next few weeks, but I'm familiar with aer's products and how cushiony the harness system is. it feels (or is) basically the same as the CPP2 in terms of that. i did read a comment once saying the sternum strap isn't necessary for a bag this small, but i don't mind. i think I'll definitely use it often just for stability and additional comfort.
I don't take good photographs so apologies for the quality but here are photos of the bag. i already attached my heroclip and some knick knacks there. i also included a photo of what will be my usual load out whenever i use this bag: my 14" MSI modern laptop, a kindle paperwhite 11th gen with a case, a few pens, a traveler's notebook-style journal, a pouch (put it in the document sleeve -- it contains letters, polaroids, flat keepsakes from my girlfriend essentially), and my nintendo switch 2 with a savage raven faceplate and the savage raven mission grip on. i think i can definitely orient the switch 2 horizontally. it's also the thing I'm most likely to leave at home, so depending on whether or not I feel i need to have the console with me, my bag can definitely potentially have more space.
not seen in the photo, but definitely in the bag, are my laptop charger and a 20k mAh powerbank (dumped them in the front sleeve, the one behind the admin panel), a type c to c cable, my keys (it's in the zipped pocket with the key leash), and some other essentials (wipes, alcohol, some meds, lip balm, microfiber cloth for my glasses -- all of them are in the quick access pocket).
a ton of reviews have already noted that it's a pretty tight fit, and it is. i personally don't mind (and i did get this because of its small footprint) and can orient things so that they "stack" together in the bag.
excited to go out and have some "real-world experience" with this bag in the coming weeks!
would appreciate recs. trying to make a playlist!
hi G,
i love you. i keep thinking about a lot of things lately. no time to open them up. i know you don't really have energy on your end to listen to my intrusive thoughts and help me out and reassure me. so I'm writing this and not sending this to you as a way to maybe just give myself some room to acknowledge im feeling what im feeling.
i feel like an intruder in your life. i feel like i have no place in it. i think ive been realizing it more and more lately, especially after i lived with you and your family for a bit. i know you have to keep me in the closet around them. but i felt so invisible. and so lonely even when i was sitting beside you. like i didnt have a place in your world. didn't have a place as someone you consider important.
and i learned something recently. you only vaguely told me about it, about a falling out with someone from your childhood. but i found out that maybe you weren't just best friends, that you were a bit more than that but it went bad. you only told me about the falling out, never really talked about how bad it went, and i never asked about it because i could tell it hurt you deeply.
but i was listening to "willing and able" by noah kahan and i kept thinking about you and that person. and what if there was an opportunity for past conflicts to be made right and fixed, to take back all the pain. how would your life be? i keep thinking about that and that maybe you wouldn't be here with me. maybe you wouldn't be here loving me. you would be elsewhere and i would be trying to find half of my heart hoping it's not a fruitless search.
there's something hollow in my chest right now. i feel like i stole part of your life because i showed up, and you met me. that maybe you settled for me. to me you're the one i would look for in every lifetime. but what if to you i just happened to be the next person who made you feel safe and felt that that was it, that was love now?
and i have to paint myself in a corner because I can't take up too much space in your life. because i have to make sure i dont take up your energy that's already spread too thin. i can't ask for time. I can't ask for affection. because you don't have anything to give right now.
and maybe in another life someone else would be lucky to be loved by you anyway. that if they told you they loved you and meant it, you would run to them.
i know these are intrusive thoughts but i can't help but feel hurt. i feel that you've kept me at arm's length -- or more, really -- emotionally lately. you've been so distant. and I'm just this person who happens to add to your burdens.
i keep thinking what if you ask me to let you go? i know i should because i want you to be happy.
and some nights i feel like you're not really happy with me anymore.
i love you but i feel like that's a burden to you. so im sorry for loving you. please tell me if im too much already.
A
im so fucking tired and i feel awful. realizing a lot of what's been triggering me is my girlfriend's distance, absence, general lack of presence. i am in a relationship but I feel alone most of the time. ive brought things up already but im always met with " i don't know what to do/say" and for things i havent brought up yet it's because im being sensitive to her time and energy and what her emotional bandwidth can take, which isn't much. her life is more chaotic than mine and i know that. but i feel the dismissal and the loneliness so so fucking much it hurts. i keep overthinking everything. i feel so fucking sad snd in pain. i feel stupid
and it sucks. I've tried. i just get seen/left on read or be given one word replies by my friends in real life. i feel lonely. im in a relationship and i feel lonely and i know i shouldnt even feel this way. i feel like an idiot. i suck. i feel like i keep begging. i feel stupid.