u/_forum_mod

Do you agree or disagree with that?

You're important beyond measure, you are a force to be reckoned with! Our important role as strong men in our families AND communities cannot be overstated and we are excellent dads despite any narratives to the contrary. Keep being a pillar in the community and our families. For those who are not fathers, I implore you to be a mentor or role model to a child who needs it.

Anyway, did anyone do anything or has anything planned? My son's team just won our flag football championship today - undefeated, so I couldn't ask for more!

Lemme show you what the wife and kiddies got me! XD

https://preview.redd.it/67syy5nzao8h1.jpg?width=3060&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2d9df45cdbfc92fbd43edc43cd37413cbf5b8091

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On a much lighter topic and to cleanse my palette of all the b.s. going on... 😮‍💨

As I shared a few months ago, I started a new job after [a human gestation period] of looking! Currently, I am working at a hospital. I won't vet myself too much for obvious reasons. So far, so good. I have a quiet office in the corner. I get a lot of foot traffic because it's right next to an isolated, discrete, bathroom that people sometimes like to use.

Anyway, being in a major black city, this particular hospital seems to have a lot of black folks as employees. There is a Jamaican woman who is the cleaner. I will call her *Ms. Barbara as an alias. She is nice, frequently asks me about my day. Sometimes a bit hard to comprehend, even for me who grew up around Jamaicans 😂. The first week, she brought me a plant (she tends to give them to people). She told me "as you grow here, may this plant grow with you!" and it was one of the kindest moments to me.

Ms. Barbara will constantly "look out" for me. She'll bring me extra supplies and snacks. She told me that she's happy to see a black man in my position and how much harder we have to work to be here. She got me the fridge from the past employee and said something like: people are cool here, but this will limit your encounters having to leave your office/be around folks.

There is another black woman who I met recently. Let's call her *Michelle. She'd smile and greet me whenever she'd pass my office to the restroom and I'd smile back and wave. We've been doing the pleasantries for months, until recently I had my door open. Afterwards she asked, why is the restroom so dirty, has Ms. Barbara been here? (There was paper all over the floor).

She said, it's never because of "us..."

https://preview.redd.it/nudbtcjftj7h1.jpg?width=266&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5e57e8df09cf6975837b88e19fa37c37079af0d9

She might've been testing what kind of brotha I was. I laughed. The topic transitioned to race, and I love when we have the "family talk." She spoke about how we have to work to get to where we are and how other black people have self-limiting beliefs as well as how she tries to encourage her staff to get out of that mindset. She then told me how happy she is to see me there and how the patients need folks who look like us. She also liked my "natural hair" (dreads).

A fellow brotha saw me who I didn't remember I met during the interview process and he was like "good to see you made it, man!"

Other than that, the job is okay so far. I will be out in the community soon educating, but for now I am in the hospital. I speak to patients bedside. I have a natural non-threatening, warm demeanor that a lot of them appreciate. I like being there for a lot of the black people (everyone in general, but especially US), especially the men because they are usually not in the best state (since they're obviously in a hospital). We know how racist healthcare can be, and even if the healthcare professionals are providing satisfactory service, there's just... a sort of a clinical coldness you'll get from a lot of white folks... and y'all know exactly wtf I mean!

I mainly stay to myself. And generally, it is opposite of my friendly personality. I keep my office bare and (other than Ms. Barbara's plant, my room is non-descript. They don't know much about me other than where I'm from and that I have a family. It's easy to do because most people can talk about themselves and never ask you anything... especially when you're a master at getting folks to only talk about themselves like I am! 😂
To avoid being too Dexter-like, I do greet folks, ask how their weekend went and make a joke or two every so often. I've generally never been the "keep co-workers at a distance" guy, myself, but (at least for now) I sprinkle interactions on very rare occasions and just sit in my office.

What's most important is my boss, white lady, (so far) is not a b*tch, which has been a problem before. This one is a bit weird/quirky, paces to and fro often... the "always busy" type, but is approachable. There are nurses and doctors. Anyone in healthcare can tell you they usually are very chill or so arrogant they seem offended you're breathing their air and nothing in-between! 😂 Some will not even say hi if they're 2 inches from you, but it's whatever... my superiority complex happens to be a natural antidote to imposter syndrome.

Other than that, I dress well, speak loud and clearly, and walk with my head up. Some of it takes an active effort, as I naturally speak low (unless I'm presenting, I sound like Obama) and catch myself slouching, but soon, conscious effort becomes second nature. I also wear a white coat so I actually look like a doctor to anyone who does not know who I am. So I'm getting the hang of it.

I know this was long-winded, but just wanted to share.

During cases like this, I am glad I have this sub and the people in it. It can be frustrating, and there really aren't any safe spaces. During tragedies yt folks vent and talk without worrying about being heckled by black people or any other racial group. Do you think brothas would be sitting around mocking Sandy Hook victims? Hell, truth be told... we aren't even disparaging Austin Metcalf, just advocating for Karmelo Anthony.

Now certain cretins can't leave good enough alone! They got the verdict they wanted, you think they'd be satisfied? No, they want to take to social media to rub it in further.

All of the "tourists" we have now, are agitators who likely typed the Karmelo Anthony case in and stumbled on this sub (as well as our resident trolls who already knew about this sub).

Like, whose first instinct is: "Boy, now that the case is over, let me go online to talk even more shit!"?? This is how these people live. They see everything as a "I got one over you" and keep score over everything. They'll also take any and every "win" they can get. Human vermin...

TLDR: Are boycotts effective? And how plausible is "buying black owned"?

Ever since the successful Montgomery bus boycott in 1955, boycotts have been seen as the gold standard of fighting racism. In recent times, many have used the boycotting playbook as a way of exerting our economic power over oppressors or those who have done harm.

With that said, I wonder how effective this approach is in modern times. How often has a successful boycott occurred? During the boycott to desegregate busing, black people moved as a unit... even if it meant walking miles to work, a critical number of black people stayed cohesive enough to hurt their pockets.

Today, we hear talk about boycotting Asian businesses after Asian store owner Rick Chow shot a fleeing Cyrus Carmack-Belton (and got away with it). But this is nothing new, when Peter Liang shot and killed Akai Gurley (for no apparent reason, really) Asian Americans went out and protested because a Chinese cop should have the same rights to kill a black guy as their white counterparts, apparently. During this time black people talked about boycotting Asian businesses. Hell, every time the news had stories about Korean hair and nail salons in black neighborhoods beating the breaks off of black women, black folks talk about boycotting. And do these stores go out of business? No, they have a line around the corner the next day... folks keep going back like a battered wife to patronize these places. Hardly the same level of commitment as we had in the 1960s. My question is, why would this be any different?

At the current moment, Black consumers have enough collective buying power to seriously impact many businesses overnight! Whether local mom-and-pop shops to major national brands. The question is: when was the last time we demonstrated the unity and discipline necessary to actually do it?

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Now my second thought is... how plausible even is boycotting all non-black businesses? All of the "you should only be dealing with each other" sometimes comes across as virtue signaling to me. First of all, even if you live in a pre-dominantly black neighborhood, a lot of your businesses are not even black owned. You still have plenty of Arab, Puerto Rican/Dominican (unless you wanna count them among us), Korean, Chinese, Indian etc. businesses in black neighborhoods. It will be hard to do commerce with exclusively (or even mainly) black businesses. Let alone those who do not live in black areas. The rapper Killa Mike in his Netflix series did an episode where he tried to patronize only black owned businesses and he struggled... and this was in Atlanta, the so-called Black Mecca!

Now I think we should try our best to patronize black businesses when we can, but we can't always criticize with the "you should be doing business among your own" anyway.

And my last question is: When was the last time you saw Jews making consumer boycotts their primary strategy for exercising collective power? Just food for thought.

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I saw a post from Paris Jackson (Michael Jackson's daughter discussing being proud of her biracial roots). I was like: 🙄 The comments were saying she's black. I also was in another thread where people were passionately debating this.

Michael also said in an interview that Blanket is his son. With a slight smirk on his face he said: (MJ voice) "Black were called colored people because we come in ALL colors 🤍💙💛🧡❤️💚🖤 from as white as my hand to as black as your shirt!"

Now clearly the person who raises you and takes care of you is your parent, biological or not, but do folks really think these phenotypically white kids came from his loins? 😂

In advance since there's always someone who complains about these "light-hearted" threads. No, this doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. Yes, there are more pressing issues... but this isn't that thread. You're free to discuss those topics elsewhere.

Dear moderators,

I'm just wondering why this thread was locked.

I know sometimes it gets locked when too many folks say stuff that can get unwarranted attention or when there is a lot of bickering in the comments, but this did not seem to be the case at all. Commenters were in agreement and the thread seemed civil.

This case mirrors the Latasha Harlins killing, and this sub often feels like the only corner of the internet where we can talk about stuff like this without racist non-blacks interjecting their bull shit 🐂💩. Where else are we gonna talk about it?

Anyway, I love the mods here, just a bit confused, that's all.

Obviously without incriminating yourself! 😂

For me, Hyundai and a few other dealerships used to offer $50 to test drive a car. It was the same principle as timeshares who would pay for your trip to Florida, the goal being they spend a bit of money upfront and make a lot more in return. I'd go into the dealership and tell them upfront "Look, just to let you know, I'm not buying anything, I'm only here for the money." The first time it was a Nigerian dude who chuckled, said "at least you are being honest," and we chatted while I drove a Sonata around the town. The second time I said it and the brotha just said: "You're not buying...? Whatever, just take the money."

$50 in 5 minutes.

Other than that, if I've ever done background work for a show, it's 90% sitting around doing nothing and probably 10% scene work... and that's if they use you at all! My dad's first production I was cast in a small, independent, production. I went in front of the camera for 30 seconds and that was it! I made like $220, which for a kid (and in 1990s money) might as well have been 10 grand!!!

That's pretty much it. I've done a lucky parlay before that gave a big return, but I don't think gambling or bets should count.

My question is do you like the current way barbershops are ran?

Pre-pandemic, barbershops were largely walk-in. You'd walk in, sit on a cushioned bench, and wait until the barber points to you. Sometimes you'd have a preferred barber so you'd wait on them.

Of course, this systems wasn't always perfect... sometimes you'd think you'd be next and an appointment would walk in or someone hooks up their boy and gets in quicker. Sometimes you'd be waiting for a hot minute for a cut and if you were unlucky, it'd be while you tolerate blaring music... (unless you like that stuff).

When the pandemic happened they made everything appointment only due to social distancing, maximum occupants, and allat stuff. I loved it. There was no more uncertainty and far less waiting.

This is one of the things that remained after the pandemic, pretty much all places use some sort of appointment system like Booksy. With that said, walk-ins were clutch though. It was good to at least have the option of a walk-in. Now, if I want to book a barber I have to look at a calendar and schedule like a month and a half in advance in some cases. Idk about you, but I'm not sitting at home like: "I think I need a cut on June 17th at 4:15pm." 🤔

Not to mention, the cuts are very expensive now! How much are cuts around you guys? I pay $35 for a "haircut" which is mainly tapering up the sides because I have dreads, and shaping up my goatee... and tip.

Anyway, what are your thoughts? I feel like getting a haircut in many shops is a bit harder to do. Generally if a barber has too much availability it isn't a good thing. Lol

Not another teen movie eccentric topic.

Dogs have been mankind's "best friend" for most of humanity, but they are a thing whose significance and importance varies from culture to culture. With some cultures looking down on them to others that treat them borderline like gods.

I notice this is another thing Black folks have in common across the diaspora. Dogs are not highly elevated... particularly amongst old school thinking. Whether Caribbean, American, or others... some dogs aren't allowed on furniture, some dogs aren't allowed in the kitchen, and some dogs aren't even allowed in the house!! (A bit too far in the other direction, in my opinion).

Now let us contrast that to white society. Dogs take a deity-like status. White people consider dogs like their kids, with (in my opinion) absurd phrases like "dog mom." They'll share an ice-cream with them, or kiss them on the mouth, to say the least 😰...​

I've personally never cared for the high premium they place on dogs lives while being so inhumane to others... particularly Black people. But to be fair, they place higher emphasis on dogs than even each other.

The internet (even this very site) is teeming with white folks talking about how little they care about human death or suffering and how a dog getting hurt or dying will make them spiral into depression. Backwards IMO. With subs like rchildfree constantly berating children and heralding mutts as a better substitute. I also notice they get personally OFFENDED if you don't like their dogs. Like if they're dog is roaming off leash and runs up to you, they'll get mad if you complain... remember the Amy Cooper fiasco in Central Park? She isn't some anomaly, she was one of countless examples that happened to be caught on camera.

Personally, I like dogs and am an owner of many, but at the end of the day, they are animals to me. I think a lot of Black folks share a similar sentiment. However, I've seen some black folks who share the stereotypically white position. I've seen them say "I like dogs more than people," "I fast forward a movie if a dog is dying," or say tacky shit like: "Is the dog okay?" 😰 After hearing a family was murdered in their home.

I know folks here like to say "we are not a monolith" so of course there will be some variety in thought, but also living in a Eurocentric society and some of their values will naturally shed (yes shed) unto you.

Anyway, with all of that said, what're your thoughts on dogs, or pets in general?

I'm posting this here because a lot of us have kids in the same age range.

First off, shout out to us... we put in a lot of work parenting. Furthermore, millennial dads are more involved than any other generation of dads. Self-patting on the back over...

Between working full time jobs and side hustles in many of our cases, being involved as "sports parents," I realize there are birthday parties 🎂 every cot damn weekend!!!

Most kids come to ours and it's nice that they invite us, so of course I take the kids, but damn, sometimes it gets exhausting, Lol. Plus it's better than the alternative (no one invites them anywhere). And unless the parents are friends with you or you are close with other guests, it becomes another "small talk gathering" while your kids run around and play.

Anyway, do y'all recall getting invited to so many parties as kids? Because I (1987er) don't... 🫤 I don't even think those were really a thing (unless I was just never invited and you all know something I don't). Right now, mine are young so I think they usually invite the entire class.

Anyway, any other millennial parents have to go to tons of parties? Very little free time anymore I keep a stash of fairly nice gifts that we can grab like car keys on the way out! 🎁

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