u/_rigatoni_pasta_

New here so sorry if this has been said already.

So sick of people flying into me when I'm on the ground to get kills. Way too easy to do and just not realistic at all.

I met my now wife five years ago - from the moment she met my dysfunctional and enmeshed family (Mum, Dad and 5 siblings), she was almost universally disliked. We went on to get married a few years ago and things sort of blew up. I had siblings collaborate together and send me voice notes explaining in detail all the things they didn't like about her while encouraging me to break up with her. (p.s - my wife is an absolute angel - a wonderful, gentle, funny, and sweet human and the absolute love of my life).

After this, I confronted those involved asking them to take accountability and apologise. My youngest brother (29M) did and we still have a relationship and my sister (37F) (who was not involved) was somewhat supportive of us and we have continued to have a relationship. The other 2 siblings involved refused to take any accountability and justified themselves. Word of all that bad happened then spread to all remaining family members who have not taken my side in all this - I am now very much the black sheep.

While I've come to a level of acceptance on this, I'm growing increasingly frustrated with the two siblings that I still have a relationship with. I might see them once or twice a year and get occasional messages from them, often initiated by me. Meanwhile, they are regularly making plans and hanging out with family that I don't have a relationship with, people who they know have caused us an immense amount of pain. They are constantly prioritised over us and we are an afterthought. Recently, I have intentionally pulled back and stopped making effort but that hasn't changed anything either.

At the core of it, what I really want is justice. I want them to recognise how unfairly we're being treated which should motivate them to make our relationship a far greater priority.

The debate in my mind is, do I say something to them? The obvious and simple answer is yes and it would feel great to tell them exactly how I feel. However, I want change to come from an authentic place on their part. I really don't want them to change just because I've said something and they then feel guilty or pressured.

On the other hand, I wonder if I should just continue to pull back, stay excluded and say nothing. Let them continue on this way and I can turn my focus to other relationships in my life. The downside to this though is that, I may just be reinforcing a longstanding family dynamic where we avoid conflict, difficult conversations, and being direct and honest with each other.

Appreciate any advice on this 🙂

TL;DR - only have relationships with two siblings left and they're deprioritising me. What do I do?

I met my now wife five years ago - from the moment she met my dysfunctional and enmeshed family (Mum, Dad and 5 siblings), she was almost universally disliked. We went on to get married a few years ago and things sort of blew up. I had siblings collaborate together and send me voice notes explaining in detail all the things they didn't like about her while encouraging me to break up with her. (p.s - my wife is an absolute angel - a wonderful, gentle, funny, and sweet human and the absolute love of my life).

After this, I confronted those involved asking them to take accountability and apologise. My youngest brother (29M) did and we still have a relationship and my sister (37F) (who was not involved) was somewhat supportive of us and we have continued to have a relationship. The other 2 siblings involved refused to take any accountability and justified themselves. Word of all that bad happened then spread to all remaining family members who have not taken my side in all this - I am now very much the black sheep.

While I've come to a level of acceptance on this, I'm growing increasingly frustrated with the two siblings that I still have a relationship with. I might see them once or twice a year and get occasional messages from them, often initiated by me. Meanwhile, they are regularly making plans and hanging out with family that I don't have a relationship with, people who they know have caused us an immense amount of pain. They are constantly prioritised over us and we are an afterthought. Recently, I have intentionally pulled back and stopped making effort but that hasn't changed anything either.

At the core of it, what I really want is justice. I want them to recognise how unfairly we're being treated which should motivate them to make our relationship a far greater priority.

The debate in my mind is, do I say something to them? The obvious and simple answer is yes and it would feel great to tell them exactly how I feel. However, I want change to come from an authentic place on their part. I really don't want them to change just because I've said something and they then feel guilty or pressured.

On the other hand, I wonder if I should just continue to pull back, stay excluded and say nothing. Let them continue on this way and I can turn my focus to other relationships in my life. The downside to this though is that, I may just be reinforcing a longstanding family dynamic where we avoid conflict, difficult conversations, and being direct and honest with each other.

Appreciate any advice on this 🙂

TL;DR - only have relationships with two siblings left and they're deprioritising me. What do I do?

I'm not just saying this cause we're out and England are through (although that doesn't help).

But FIFA got their wish of keeping the top 4 seeded teams apart til the semi finals. From their POV (and definitely from a commercial POV) they'll be delighted but for me, it's just boring when it's somewhat scripted like this. Part of the draw of the world cup is the unpredictability of it all, rather than setting it up in a way that privileges certain teams.

I've never felt less invested in a major tournament in my entire life and I can't wait for it all to be over so that the domestic football can start again.

EDIT: I'm not claiming there is a conspiracy ffs 🙈 when I say "somewhat scripted", I'm referring to the fact that FIFA changed the rules to make it harder for the top 4 seeds to get drawn together before the semis. They want 2 big 'blockbuster semis' (eyyyyy oh) and they've got it due to this rule change.