u/after_initiative

Thinking back into my childhood, I definitely showed signs of OCD that nobody ever saw. Interestingly enough, they were physical compulsions instead of mental ones (turning the light on/off a certain amount of times or else "i would get cancer" type of OCD.) It wasn't horrible, nobody ever noticed and if they did, they probably thought I was just a quirky 9 year old kid. Never got a diagnosis, never got treated.

As a teen, I also had my compulsions, like reading an essay at least 7 or 8 times before printing it for my teachers because in my mind, I had written something wrong and I had to check again and again and again... lol. But i have to admit, I thought it was normal! Again, nothing too horrible or tiring, so I never got a diagnosis.

But now, as an adult... WOW. My (finally diagnosed) OCD is hooooorrible. It manifests mainly in ruminating. Like, crazy ruminating that drives me insane, I can't lie. It is so incredibly debilitating because my brain makes up problems that don't even exist and my OCD doesn't let me live without a solution to those "problems." I need an answer now, so... you can imagine how my day-to-day life is when fighting my own thoughts ALL day long.

My question is... Has anybody experienced this? Your OCD being way easier to manage as a kid and teen and then "coming back" (I will guess that maybe it was never gone to begin with) awfully strong and debilitating as an adult? I feel like I am losing my mind. It is every single day that I deal with this. Maybe I will need medication because no amount of meditation or hobbies to occupy my mind gets rid of the

rumination...

Thinking back into my childhood, I definitely showed signs of OCD that nobody ever saw. Interestingly enough, they were physical compulsions instead of mental ones (turning the light on/off a certain amount of times or else "i would get cancer" type of OCD.) It wasn't horrible, nobody ever noticed and if they did, they probably thought I was just a quirky 9 year old kid. Never got a diagnosis, never got treated.

As a teen, I also had my compulsions, like reading an essay at least 7 or 8 times before printing it for my teachers because in my mind, I had written something wrong and I had to check again and again and again... lol. But i have to admit, I thought it was normal! Again, nothing too horrible or tiring, so I never got a diagnosis.

But now, as an adult... WOW. My (finally diagnosed) OCD is hooooorrible. It manifests mainly in ruminating. Like, crazy ruminating that drives me insane, I can't lie. It is so incredibly debilitating because my brain makes up problems that don't even exist and my OCD doesn't let me live without a solution to those "problems." I need an answer now, so... you can imagine how my day-to-day life is when fighting my own thoughts ALL day long.

My question is... Has anybody experienced this? Your OCD being way easier to manage as a kid and teen and then "coming back" (I will guess that maybe it was never gone to begin with) awfully strong and debilitating as an adult? I feel like I am losing my mind. It is every single day that I deal with this. Maybe I will need medication because no amount of meditation or hobbies to occupy my mind gets rid of the rumination...

Hello everyone :)

I wanted to ask something. I recently got diagnosed, and I have a new upcoming appointment on August. With that being said, as many of you could relate, one of the worst symptoms is the inevitable and stubborn weight gain. You can eat like a little bird and someway, somehow... You just don't lose weight. Everybody thinks we are making it up or "not trying hard enough", so I am glad they classified it now as a metabolic and endocrine disease. I was never making it up, neither I was not trying hard enough!

I was wondering... In which ways has getting a diagnosis helped you lose weight *without* taking glp-1 like ozempic, mounjaro...? See, I am not against those drugs at all. They have gotten such a bad reputation because there are people without pcos/diabetes/obesity who use them. I would actually take them if they were affordable or accesible through my country's public Healthcare system. Maybe one day things change, but as of now... You need to pay around €300 per month and well... I just can't justify it. I didn't choose this disease, ya know? 🫠

I don't know, maybe I am just traumatized by all the dietician appointments I have had since I was a teen, all the diets I have tried (fasting, no carbs, no meat, etc) and in general, all the attempts to lose weight "the natural" way, which ended up resulting in gaining it right back on... But honestly, I kind of doubt I will be able to lose it just by diet. Has anybody received any other medication for it? What is there to do? I gotta be honest, I am lost, but I am reeeally interested in solutions because being obese causes so much pain and pressure in my joints, hairloss, being out of breath all the time... Overall, feeling horrible!

Thanks in advance for the help, everyone. 🙏🏻

Hello everyone:)

I was first diagnosed with ADHD back in 2018, my last year of high-school. For some strange reason, doctors in my country don't offer treatment right away, therefore, I have gone through all these years without medication since "I didn't need it."

Around last summer I started experiencing what at first sight seems to be OCD. I have had theee worst obsessive thoughts. My brain grabs a problem, a concern, a situation... and replays all the horrible things and outcomes about it for around 2 weeks. After those 2 weeks, my mind finds a new topic to obsess over. It has been happening for basically a year sooo... Imagine how tired I am. My brain feels like a speeding car with no breaks. It is so debilitating not being able to control my mind.

I am not looking for a diagnosis. I am aware of the fact that this is a problem I will have to consult with a specialist. I also know that having ADHD and OCD together is definitely possible. But I was wondering... Could this just be my untreated adhd? Has anyone who went without meds experience obsessive thoughts that went away after starting medication? Also, is anyone dealing with something similar as we speak? It feels sooo isolating. 😵‍💫

Anyway, thank you all in advance for your help!

Hello everyone, quick question: Did you use to struggle with edema in your ankles and feet while being overweight/obese and then it ended up going away when losing weight?

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I am considered obese now after being overweight for many years, and looking forward to being able to work out again after a long health issue I've had. I've had a mild edema in my right feet for yeaaaars now. Doctors have just told me to use compression socks since all my blood and urine results show no clear cause as of why it happens. Is it a horrible worry of mine? Not really, mostly a cosmetic issue since well, having a feet a little swollen isn't the prettiest look. Sometimes it feels more swollen than normal but overall, it rarely happens and it doesn't hurt either.

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But I am wondering... what if this is just my body telling me that I desperately need to lose weight and then, it will go away? For all of you who dealt with something similar, did it get better or has it fully gone away after losing weight? I am curious about your experiences. Thank you!

I am honestly so picky... All vanillas smell either synthetic or too warm and spicy. I am not sure how to explain it, but I'd love to find a cold vanilla. Does that make sense? I live in a warm climate with humidity that reaches 75% and more on a daily basis and some cupcake and straight out of the oven pastry vanillas are too heavy. I still want to enjoy a good vanilla, since it is my favorite.

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I would love a vanilla that feels like this: You are going to a fancy café near the beach. You don't know what to expect because it is an expensive place and it might just be too hyped up and not actually good quality. You order a vanilla milkshake, and turns out that when the waiter brings it out to you, a trail of vanilla surrounds the whole table, hitting your nose right away. It is a super cold milkshake, and you can tell that the vanilla is not like the ones used at fast food restaurants, this one is just so special and unique. This milkshake isn't actually that sweet compared to those cheap milkshake fast food chains, everything about it feels intentional and very well-made. All of your sense are overstimulated but in the most perfect way: the beach and its salty smell, that fresh and strong wind, the fancy vanilla smell, the sun hitting your table making the milkshake melt a little... a whole experience.

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Does anyone know of a vanilla like this? I don't care about the price and I also don't mind the presence of some florals and citrus or even some greenery. I just don't want pepper, musk, heavy sugar/caramel, wood... Just delicious, fresh and fancy.

EDIT: wow, everyone, thank you soooo much for the recommendations. Y'all are the best! Trust me, reading each and every single one of your comments. I had no idea there were so many options because I had such a hard time looking for perfumes all by myself. I will make sure to check out all of the amazing perfumes you shared with me. I am sure I will find one that I like! Sending you hugs 🙏🏻

The trigger warning is just because death is being discussed.

For all of you whose narcissistic parents died, how did you feel? Part of me thinks I would feel an immense sense of peace, part of me thinks many feelings would arise and I would feel an immense sadness.

My situation is a little different, I am actually adopted. Yes, adopted by narcissistic, what a life I've had. I am in my mid 20s but they are in their 70s. They adopted me very late, around their mid 50s. They do have two other biological kids. My sister is a mess, just a byproduct of her parents. Haven't talked to none of us since 2017. She got away but we are stuck. My brother is a nice person, just another innocent victim of his bio parents. I am basically the black sheep of the family. My disgusting mother makes sure to remind me she loves my brother (her bio son) more than me. Mind you, she treats him like sh1t.

Honestly, I dread the elderly phase they are in/are about to enter. Because they want us to be like a full-time caregiver, or more so like a slave. They don't know how to turn on the oven, they don't know how to navigate the TV controller, nor to program the washing machine. They also don't want to learn, because we do it for them. Imagine.

I wish I was more loving, but they are so incredibly disgusting that it is impossible for me to feel called to help them. Again, I know this sounds mental. It is horrible to wish this upon your own parents, but after all the mental and physical abuse I have been through, which has left me with 2 autoimmune conditions... I just hope they pass away soon.

My brother needs a break from that crazy lady and that emotionally inept man. I need a break too. Over 20 years of putting up with abuse, mental tricks, gaslighting...

What did the death of your parents arise into you? Do you live more at peace? Did you ever feel regret for "not doing better" while they were alive (you know, victim's guilt)?

I don't know, sometimes I think I will regret wishing them death, but... I think that's just the way they have manipulated my brain into believing they are worth the sorrow. They have massively messed me up... I don't know why I still feel bad about them. If anything, I should feel bad about myself.