u/ageozoega

Sou um usuário assíduo daqui do sub já há um bom tempo. Todo dia vejo incontáveis posts e comentários dizendo que como a vida do homem médio está péssima, que a mulherada não dá moral, não dão match, não conversam. Eu lia isso e já me vinha um desespero, pensava “meu deus, não posso ficar solteiro nunca”. O impensável aconteceu, acabei terminando recentemente e, por orientação da minha psicóloga, baixei o Tinder apenas pra ganhar uns likes e conversar despretensiosamente. Sem muita pressão, apenas pra me manter ocupado. Já fui preparado pro pior, afinal “hipergamia isso”, “ego inflado aquilo”, “gasto todos meus likes do dia e não dou match”, “garotas não respondem”. Até o momento, minha experiência foi o completo oposto.

Agora às 13h00 marca 24h desde que criei minha conta, nem usei todos meus likes de ontem e hoje e dei match com 5 garotas sendo que três delas estamos num baita papo legal sobre animes, política e pets. Se isso vai virar um date futuramente, aí é outra história. Sinceramente, nem estou preocupado com isso no momento, tenho nem cabeça pra passar por isso agora. Mas, fato é, a pista não está nem um pouquinho salgada, tá é um doce! Tenho provas, pra quem duvidar.

PS: Não tenho shape, não sou rico, não tenho 1,80m.

Yeah, you read that right. I want to go to the other side, but calm down, that's not what you think.

For as long as I can remember, I (31M) never wanted kids. When I hit 25—minimum age to get a vasectomy—I got a vasectomy. I've never regretted this decision, but as I grew older, I realized it was an extremely impulsive decision. But what's done is done, can't—and don't want to—reverse it now. I always thought "well, if I want to become a father, I can adopt or have a child through IVF". But like I said, I never wanted... "So why do you want to go to the other side?", you ask me. Well, the thing is, two years ago I met this girl and she dreams of becoming a mother. We've had a great 2-year relationship until the first days of April, when she pressed me and asked me to promise her that someday we’d have a child. She's 25 and wants to get pregnant no later than 30 to 31 years old. But I couldn't... I couldn’t promise her something I didn’t truly mean.. Can you imagine after five years waiting I still don't want kids in my life? It would break her, it would be the most vile thing I could have done: waste years of her life. So we broke up after many—and I mean MANY—conversations. Today I moved out of our apartment. But I can't stop feeling I'm being dumb in letting her go. I love her so much, why is this thing such a big deal that I would rather lose her for the rest of my life than giving her the family she wants so much and will make her happy and fulfilled?

I go to the therapy and I never touched this subject, because I always felt like "well, this is the way I am and there's nothing I can do about it, no big deal". But now I'm asking myself if I start to work through this and get to know me better, my upbringing and everything that makes me not want kids (financially, emotionally, etc), wether I can change my mind, so I can willingly give her that future and not only a fake promise I certainly wouldn't keep. We talked tonight for the last time and she said that if I can figure this out, we can totally get back together, but I have to really mean it! So I ask you to help me, please! Please share your experiences with parenthood.

I lost the love of my life, my best friend, my partner, my confidant, and the woman I was absolutely certain I would grow old with. Cheating? Growing apart? Toxicity? No. Our relationship was perfect from the very first day to the very last. We only broke up because she wants to be a mother someday, and I don’t. She knew from the very beginning that I had a vasectomy and that I never really saw myself having kids. We both believed that maybe, with time, one of us would change our mind. But eventually the ultimatum came.

I (31M) met her (25F) through a mutual friend who knew I was interested and introduced us. It took us a while to actually start talking, but once we did, we never stopped. And on our very first date, I felt something inside me saying: “She’s the one.” From that moment on, we were inseparable. We were always on the exact same page throughout every stage of our relationship. At the time, almost exactly two years ago (05/27), I was living with my parents to save money and, during those first few weeks, [sensitive content] >!my mother attempted to take her own life!<. And this girl, who technically owed me nothing, stood by my side through all of it. She supported me, believed in me, believed in us. I knew I couldn’t lose her, and from that day on I did everything I could to give her the best version of myself possible. Once things stabilized, I moved out to live on my own somewhere closer to her workplace so we could spend more time together during the week. The distance was destroying me. And, once again, everything worked out perfectly. We got even closer and grew so much as a couple. Not long after that, she got a new job and suddenly the place I lived in became inconvenient for both of us. We were close to completing one year together, and I suggested we move in together. After all, we were living what genuinely felt like a dream relationship. And once again, it worked beautifully. Of course we had arguments here and there, but always with respect and so much love for each other. Being with her awakened something in me I had never felt before. No previous relationship of mine had ever come close to making me feel this way. I realized that maybe I had never truly loved before, because what I feel for her is infinitely deeper. Making her happy became my greatest source of happiness. And far beyond gifts or grand gestures, I treated her like the princess she truly is. But unfortunately, even all of that wasn’t enough. And this story, one that honestly felt like a fairytale because of how beautiful it was, reached its final chapter.

I’m writing this while finishing packing my things to move out on Monday. We’ve officially been broken up for about a month and a half now (basically the time it took to sort out all the moving logistics), while still living under the same roof and sleeping in separate bedrooms. This past weekend, she decided to stay at her family’s house so she wouldn’t have to watch me packing everything and leaving. Every single day during these past months, literally every single day, we cried together. We questioned whether we made the right decision or if we gave up too soon, whether we should’ve waited longer and tried harder. I guess we’ll never know. It hurts so much knowing that in two days, everything we lived together will become part of the past. That little by little I’ll start forgetting our inside jokes, her voice, her scent, her touch. And that for the rest of my life, I won’t have her by my side anymore. It’s almost impossible to imagine a future right now because every single plan I had included her in it. Breakups always hurt, but breaking up while still deeply in love with each other feels unbearably cruel. I wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone. My world collapsed and I feel completely lost, and honestly, scared too. I don’t want Monday to ever come. I wish this was all just a nightmare and that I could finally wake up from it.

And I know you have a Reddit account, so if you somehow end up reading this: please know that I love you deeply, and I always will. More than anything, I want you to be happy. I hope you find someone who treats you even better than I did, and that together you build the beautiful family you always dreamed of, the dream I couldn’t give you. Please remember us fondly. Our time together was short, but it was magical.

Perdi o amor da minha vida, minha melhor amiga, parceira, confidente e a mulher que eu tive toda a certeza que viveria para sempre. Traição? Mudança? Desgaste? Não, nosso relacionamento foi perfeito do primeiro ao último dia. Nos separamos apenas porque ela quer ser mãe futuramente e eu não. Ela sabia desde o começo que tenho vasectomia e que não penso muito nessa ideia, nós dois acreditamos que poderíamos mudar de ideia com o passar do tempo, mas o ultimato chegou.

Eu (31H) e ela (25M) nos conhecemos por uma amiga em comum, que sabia do meu interesse e nos apresentou. Demoramos a começar a nos falar, mas quando começamos, não paramos mais e já no nosso primeiríssimo encontro eu senti dentro de mim: é ela. E desde então nós não nos separamos, sempre estivemos na mesmíssima página em todas as etapas do relacionamento. Na época, há quase exatamente dois anos atrás (27/05), estava morando nos meus pais pra juntar dinheiro e, ainda nas primeiras semanas, [conteúdo sensível]>!minha mãe atentou contra a própria vida,!< e ela, que nada era minha, me deu todo o apoio, ficou do meu lado e acreditou em mim e em nós. Eu não podia perder essa garota e, desde então, eu fiz de tudo pra dar a ela a minha melhor versão possível. Quando as coisas se estabilizaram, eu me mudei para ir morar sozinho num local que ficaria melhor para ela ir trabalhar, assim poderíamos ficar mais tempo juntos durante a semana, a distância me destruía. E, pra variar, deu tudo muito certo! Nós nos aproximamos ainda mais e crescemos muito como casal. Pouco tempo depois, ela passou num concurso e esse local que eu morava ficou ruim. Estávamos às vésperas de completar um ano juntos e eu propus de irmos morar juntos, afinal estávamos vivendo o relacionamento dos sonhos. E, de novo, deu muito certo! Claro que tivemos algumas discussões aqui e ali, mas sempre nos respeitando e nos amando muito! Vivendo essa relação, ela despertou algo em mim que eu nunca havia sentido antes, que nenhuma ex-namorada minha um dia conseguiu despertar. Eu aprendi que, na verdade, eu nunca amei de verdade antes, esse meu sentimento era (e é ainda) muito mais intenso! Aprendi que fazê-la feliz era a minha maior felicidade e, muito mais do que presentes e gestos, eu a tratei como uma verdadeira princesa (que ela é mesmo!). Mas, infelizmente, nem isso foi o suficiente e essa história, que mais parece um conto de fadas de tão perfeito que foi, chegou ao seu último capítulo, mais especificamente na penúltima página.

Escrevo esse texto terminando de encaixotar minhas coisas para me mudar na segunda-feira. Estamos terminados há cerca de um mês e meio (que foi o tempo de resolver todas as burocracias da mudança), morando sob o mesmo teto e dormindo em quartos separados. Nesse último fim de semana, ela optou por ficar na casa da família, pra não me ver encaixotando as coisas e indo embora. Todos os dias desses últimos meses, literalmente todos os dias mesmo, nós choramos muito e nos lamentamos, nos questionamos se tomamos a decisão correta ou se fomos precipitados demais, se deveríamos ter esperado e tentado mais. Jamais saberemos. Dói demais pensar que em dois dias tudo isso que vivemos se tornará passado, que aos poucos irei me esquecendo das nossas brincadeiras, sua voz, seu cheiro, seu toque e que pro resto da minha vida não terei mais a companhia dela. É difícil demais imaginar um futuro agora, pois todos meus planos tinham ela junto. Términos sempre doem, mas terminar amando muito a pessoa é cruel demais, não desejo a ninguém. Meu mundo ruiu e estou completamente perdido e até com medo. Não quero que chegue segunda-feira nunca, queria que isso tudo fosse um pesadelo e que eu acordasse logo.

Eu sei que você tem conta aqui, então se você acabar lendo isso aqui, saiba que eu te amo muito e sempre vou te amar. O que eu mais quero é que você seja muito feliz, encontre alguém que te trate ainda melhor do que eu te tratei e que vocês tenham uma família linda juntos, pra realizar esse sonho que eu não pude te dar. Lembre-se de nós com carinho, por favor, nosso tempo foi curtinho mas foi mágico e maravilhoso.

Hey y'all! I'm a new player who has been grinding the game HARD for the past couple of weeks (or maybe a month now, idk). You may have seen me here in the sub lately.

So far, aside from the Main Story and Living World Seasons 1 and 2 (I'll keep playing through all of them, I just need a quick break), I've been doing mainly World Bosses and Dungeons when I see a group running any of them. I'm currently using a set of Ascended gear I got from the Wizard's Vault and Exotic accessories I bought from the Trading Post and that's it (I don't know how to get Ascended accessories lol). The thing is, it's starting to feel kinda repetitive... I mean, it's a easy gold but it's just a blitz through with a group of strong people, there's no sense of accomplishment or reward, if you know what I mean. And kind of along the same lines, I've been just hoarding gold, karma and materials and not having anywhere to spend them, since I can't buy other Ascended (the accessories I'm missing, for example) from the TP and Legendaries are too damn expensive and I don't even know how to grind and craft them.

I don't like PvP so I don't want to engage in this kind of content. WvW I've never played anything in any game before tbh, so I don't know what to expect—I'm not in any Guild either, idk if that matters. And Raids and Fractals are two types of content I really want to try out because I'm in love with this game's PvE, but I'm very afraid of messing up and ruining the group's run, because I know absolutely nothing about them—and I don't want to study guides and spoil the fun from the first experience.

So, to finish this already, I'm in this limbo of playing the same thing over and over again, either not knowing how—or being afraid—to engage with harder content. When do I know I can safely jump into harder content?

It's been three days that I'm just wandering around and doing events here and there. I even installed this Blish HUD mod that one guy here recommended me to keep track of the bosses and all of that. But please don't get me wrong, even though I'm 100% loving it, I want to move forward in the story, I'm at this part where I have to complete The Tower of Nightmares, but people simply don't care about this event. I've tried to join in three different times of the day and it's always empty—mostly because there are always better/easier events to complete at the same time. I've tried to solo it but it's too damn harsh.

So what do I do now? Should I just give up on this story and move to the next Chapter? I really don't want to do this, because I'm really invested in the story and I really want to complete all the chapters.

I'm new to the game and since I finally reached 100% world completion and finished the main story, I've been kinda lost on what to do in the game, so I decided to start Living World S1. I've already finished the first three chapters and got stuck on a part in Chapter 4 that I had to complete a couple of events in Kessex Hills in order to move forward in the story. Now I understand why this game is so appraised.

I was roaming around trying to trigger any event and in the span of 30 minutes I was bombed with so many things to do: first I did an event where I had to explode some giant venomous spore tree; then I was walking around and a freaking legendary ostrich almost one-shotted me and 4 or 5 guys showed up and we managed to kill it; finally I was again just wandering carelessly and this rift thing appeared, I caught some crystals flying around and then entered and fought this giant crystal spider monster and that fight was SO MUCH FUN god damn! It was only me and one other dude and we worked our way through it! I completed the mission and now I'm back to the story, but oh boy do I had a blast right now. I guess Open World PvE is my thing, I definitely want more of these, how can I stay up to these kind of events to join them?

Hey y’all, hope you are having a good day! I started playing GW2 a couple of weeks ago and so far I’m loving it. Not only the game has everything I like in MMOs, this community is really something else—recently I made a post about a dude that followed me in Straits of Devastation and two other guys messaged me here giving me expansion codes for free lol.

I’m still on my quest to 100% the world map, mostly because PvE is what I like the most to do. My endgame goal after that is to do Dungeons, Raids and Fractals, but I face two problems: 1. I have zero experience and can’t find any groups in LFG to learn; 2. I don’t think I even have the required gear—I’m using full Devona’s. Now I don’t know what to do in order to get better gear to venture into more challenging contents. I looked into the Achievements and felt extremely overwhelmed by the amount of stuff to do; I joined some map events here and there by complete coincidence because it happened that I was at the right place at the right time. I’m lost on how to transition from a complete rookie to a slightly more experienced player. I don’t know how to craft—since I can’t buy Ascended stuff; don’t know how to unlock some neat skins. I don’t know anything about how to progress my character.

So what do I do? Should I continue playing through the next stories? I enjoyed a lot the main story—even though the last couple of missions were dragged a bit too much, but I also want to participate in more group contents, because I’m not quite feeling the MMO aspect of the game by playing it all alone.