u/alidoubleyoo

he’s a chemical engineer, he doesn’t drink, and he likes to explore. i’m thinking something practical, like bear spray (are bears as big of an issue out there as i believe?) and then some good snacks for the drive out, but i want to really make sure the main portion of the gift is something he’ll really appreciate having. what sort of things are valuable to have in this part of the country?

it is a summer tradition for my boyfriend’s family to take a weeklong vacation together to a small town on a lovely chain of lakes. this will be my fourth time coming along, though my first time coming along since i developed what is probably (waiting on blood test results to confirm) lupus.

my boyfriend’s parents and grandma cover the cost of everything (though now that i’m out of college and have a real job i’ll be buying everyone dinner at some point on the trip) so i’m doing my best to not be ungrateful, but i don’t know how i won’t lose my mind spending a week living in the same vacation house as these people. i do sincerely love most of them, but they’re a bit much. these past few years, i’ve returned from this vacation feeling like i need another vacation. my boyfriend’s aunt, uncle, and cousins are not attending for the second year in a row in part because they realized that vacationing separately from the family last year was alarmingly peaceful and low-conflict.

my boyfriend’s older sister, who we’ll call S, is (putting it lightly) a very self-centered person. she’s a friend of mine for sure, but it’s her way or the highway. last year our vacation activities consisted of whatever she wanted. when we tried to go as a group to do one thing she didn’t want to do, she made us three hours late and complained the entire time we did the activity. she also likes to try really hard to tag along when my boyfriend and i make plans to do something couple-y. obviously we don’t let her come along, but we really have to spell it out for her every time that this is a ROMANTIC activity between me and boyfriend before she’ll stop begging.

my boyfriend’s mom enables S like crazy and bends over backwards for her constantly. that’s why we always do exactly what S wants to do and can never just leave her behind when she makes us multiple hours late to something. my boyfriend’s dad is the ultimate people pleaser, so he just sort of floats along doing whatever.

my boyfriend’s grandma was fine for a while, where we didn’t really have much in common but were cordial. recently she’s begun to straight up bodyshame me with those annoying little comments that women make where they’re obviously meant to be rude but are said in a way that if you respond as if they’re rude then you’re the bad guy. just this past weekend she hit me with “you have such a big appetite for a girl!” and “are you sure you don’t want a salad?” which like, fuck you! i’m at a perfectly healthy weight! she also has weird ideas about my boyfriend and i sleeping in the same bed (even though we literally own our own home and sleep in the same bed every night) because we’re not married, which means it’s still up in the air whether or not my boyfriend and i will get to do that on vacation.

all this to say, especially with me being sick, i want to ENJOY my vacation this summer. how can my boyfriend and i survive all this family bullshit and come out the other side feeling like we were actually on vacation? i’m already planning on leveraging my illness (or just straight up giving in to pain/fatigue) to get some alone time or maybe if things are going wrong just straight up go home early. also if his grandma says anything about how i look in a bikini i am going to scream at her.

babies and juveniles seem too small and fragile for my liking, so i’m only interested in subadults or adults. are these harder to find than babies?