u/andersondottir

Hi! I’m looking for events made for trans masc people (not necessarily exclusively!)
Preferably nightlife kind of things! Everything seems to be either ‘afab’ events (advertised as for women, transmasc, nb) or general queer things.
I do love those but I miss having a space like Haven that was made for us. Where you can be shirtless and not get eyeballed :|

Is there many that aren’t just like regular meetups/support groups? I don’t wanna craft or talk I wanna go OUT!! 😭😭

Preferably northern or western suburbs or CBD!

I’m finally switching from Apple and my iPhone 14+ (mostly because of the $$$$$, terrible camera and lack of software customisation)

I was looking at getting a refurbished samsung galaxy s23/24 but half the information about them is about their AI. From what I can see there’s no setting to 100% switch it off for good which is really putting me off

I’d really prefer a mainstream phone just so everything is a bit easier. My price range is up to $750 AUD for a refurbished phone.
I know that’s not a lot but all I need is a phone that has a good front and back camera (don’t care about zoom), is customisable/will let me install APKs and has NO AI or an option to completely opt out

It’s so frustrating that so many tech companies are pushing AI down everyone’s throats when, from what I see at least, the majority of people don’t want it :/

I’ve had my cat Rhubarb since last October and I love him to pieces. But I always feel constant guilt about his wellbeing and giving him enough attention.

He’s pretty playful but despite trying a lot of interactive toys he only wants to play with people (specifically me). He doesn’t care about any kind of cat tv either. I try to play with him when I can but I don’t understand how people say to get in 30mins to an hour of playtime a day split up. How does anyone have a schedule that allows that? Or energy?

He loves me so much and follows me everywhere.
Most of his entertainment is watching the pigeons outside that i scatter birdseed for, and he loves it!
But i just feel terrible about him not getting enough exercise. I think i play with him maybe 20mins a day all up?

He had a urinary blockage in january and i think it actually traumatised me a little bit. it was a whole ordeal that lasted about a month, the first night being 8hrs in an emergency vet waiting room until 5am. i lost all my savings and now play close attention to his habits and mood and everything- both because i care for him and i literally cannot afford for it to happen again
i just say this because it definitely adds to my guilt about it.

i barely leave the house because i don’t want him to be bored and get depressed. i hesitate to even go to the shops that are literally a minute walk away. i just think about the fact that he doesn’t know where i’m going, that i’m not purposely leaving him for no reason, he doesn’t know when/if i’ll come back etc etc

i know it’s unhealthy but i just don’t know how to get over this!
i know guilt is pretty common with taking care of any living creature but i feel like mine is way over the top

he’s my first cat, i’ve only ever had dogs and taken in friends cats for a few weeks.
i’d love to get another cat because i think he’d do really well with a friend but i just can’t afford to atm

I’ve been on vyvanse for a year now and i have very mixed feelings about it. i was on 30mg for about 8 months and then went up to 50mg because it felt like it wasn’t working well enough. I don’t know if this isn’t the right fit for me or if i’m just not doing it right. From all the advice i’ve read it seems like you need to live the healthiest and most organised life, take 500 supplements, drink so much water and eat perfectly for this medication to work properly. It doesn’t seem fair at all, how am I supposed to achieve that if I have ‘can’t do anything’ disorder??

I’ve gotten even more depressed. I used to play video games but I haven’t been able to since starting these meds. It just doesn’t interest me
Im also on Lamotrigine for depression/bipolar and have been for years, i love it. it works better than any SSRI i’ve ever had. But now i dont even notice if ive had it or not

My life revolves around the hit of energy i get around midday (that I spend cleaning)

It doesn’t make my brain ‘quiet’ like others say, my thoughts feel frantic and scattered. My ‘focus’ I get from it is intense hyperfocus that isn’t really productive. I’m more easily distracted because now I have the energy to follow each thought

I can’t rest during that time because I feel like i’m wasting my medications effects.
I’m pretty sure I have OCD and my compulsions are lot worse because I feel so on edge.
Since I started Vyvanse I have had zero interest in any kind of socialising, it just seems like a waste of time and way too much energy. I’ve isolated myself completely
I have ZERO impulse control/self discipline now. I have so much sugar later in the day

Everyone says it seems like it helps me a lot but they only see the midday activity. I cannot live like this but it’s so hard to tell if this is the vyvanse.
I have zero interest in anything.

My psychiatrist said non-stims wouldn’t work for me, not sure why. I have combined ADHD but it def leans toward inattentive (probably because of depression). I am in a state of constant decision paralysis/burnout, this was how I was before the meds as well.

I guess this is more of a vent because it seems clear that this isn’t working for me, I’m just looking for support.
I’m tired of being told to just sleep more, take supplements or that my dose is either too high or too low. It feels like no one acknowledges that vyvanse just isn’t right for some people
It feels like i’m just not doing this right but I have no energy to do all the things people say I need to

my partner has unmanaged health related OCD. It also pops up in many other areas of their life (like relationship insecurity, being overly concerned with safety etc)
I also have OCD but it’s more of the stereotypical perfectionist type. So i understand how they’re feeling to a point

Up until fairly recently I’ve provided reassurance about their anxieties, thinking it’s the natural thing to do. But the past few months I’ve been doing more research and now know that that just makes it worse

The issue is I don’t know how to not reassure them. They want to get better and know that reassurance is just feeding the issue but I’m not sure if they’re mentally stable enough to do the work needed. This isn’t me deciding for them, they have alexithymia and have trouble with introspection/identifying emotions.
I feel that if I did manage to say no I’d just be setting them loose to spiral alone

Even though we both know that this is the road to recovery it’s hard to enforce when they’re doing really bad and reassurance is a quick, temporary ‘fix’

How do I actually say no? Like how should it be phrased? For example if they ask ‘Do you think I’m ok?’ I should be responding in a way that encourages them to be ok with uncertainty. But it’s not that easy! They’d take that as me essentially saying ‘maybe you’re not ok’ which then translates to ‘if my partner says I might not be ok then it must be bad’. Which moves onto spiralling

Saying ‘I don’t want to give you reassurance because it will only make you feel worse/it doesn’t actually help’ feels like I’m just telling them to deal with it themselves. What support can I provide after refusing reassurance? Should I give in sometimes if it’s really bad or stick to it no matter what?

I’d ask them but they have a lot of trouble knowing what helps or at least verbalising it
Therapy of any kind isn’t an option right now :/