2 midterms on Friday and Saturday of this week (aka tomorrow and the day after that). 2 next week. And then I have 5 finals. And 3 of those finals are on one day!! And that day is the first day of finals week (the Saturday immediately after week 10). Which also happens to be 6 days after my birthday, so I won’t even be able to relax, let alone celebrate on my birthday :(
The extreme emotions. Nothing makes it go away. Never. No amount of talking or “regulation” or any coping mechanism “fixes” the feeling. Like if I feel extremely hopeless and full of rage, all people can do is say “oh the feeling is not reality, it’s just a feeling”. Ok and? That doesn’t change anything? I still feel extremely hopeless or unfathomably angry and no amount of sugarcoating or distracting myself from the feeling changes the unbearableness of it in the moment or my awareness of the fact that the feelings still exist and will still pop up again and it will inevitably still feel unbearable and incredibly heavy and I’ll feel so helpless. This very cycle and the awareness of there being no solution and me trying everything but all of it just reinforcing my belief that there is no solution (like when someone tells me- “you just need to regulate.” ) All of it just makes me more hopeless. The more I try to fix it or find ways to feel better, the more I realise that there is no such thing and the more indescribably, unfathomably
hopeless I feel, stuck in a never ending loop that never gets better. And the more pointless everything feels.
Yet, here I am, hoping against hope that someone finally says something that feels like it breaks this loop and doesn’t just reinforce my belief and hit me with a wave of helplessness. So if you have a differing perspective or just anything you think will help, hit me with it
Small, narrow, dissatisfactory life. Like a horse with blinders on but in the worst way imaginable. Depressing, sad, colorless life. And there is no end to this at least for a few weeks straight. And then, for a few more years. The same scam and lie I’ve been sold my entire life. Oh, just a little bit longer. And before I know it, a third to fourth of my entire life has passed and we’re still here.
Anyway, depressing poetic phrases aside, how do people study? I feel so upset and incompetent (like there’s something deeply deeply wrong with me) everytime I see someone studying and managing to do so effortlessly.
anyone know how much he usually curves? I’ve heard a lot of people say that he curves quite a lot. But does anyone know by how many points/percentage?
Bruh. I am in a group with somewhat studious, seemingly dedicated people. And yet, no one talks or communicates or responds to messages or anything. No vague timeline yet and we’re so close to the deadline. This shit is stressing me out so much. My micromanaging stressed and control freak self is going to die of a heart attack trying to coordinate the details of this. And I’ll still get nothing done. Why are people like this? Literal fully grown adults and they can’t even do the most basic shit even after 10 reminders? My issue isn’t even that. My issue is that they don’t even communicate or say that maybe they haven’t completed or want more time or wtv???
I’ve had this exact same experience in clubs too. And I’ve seen teachers and TAs experience the exact same thing in pretty much every class. There has to be some fucking psychological theory that explains this. cause I’ve seen it so much outside of ucsd too. It’s everywhere.
Was I the only one who saw that? The police car pulling up at 1:20 am and then using a flashlight to check near dumpster facing the canyon. Then going towards the apartments for a few minutes to check soemthing and then leaving in 10 minutes. They did leave exactly after another car pulled out of the parking lot. So maybe they’re after him? Anyone know anything?
Nothing changes reality. No amount of talking or coping mechanisms are going to change reality or the feeling of an emotion, especially in that moment. And the awareness of that kills me. Because then what even is the point of anything? And then there is no solution of fix for anything. And there is nothing that can truly help or change things. And the helplessness and hopelessness is unbearable.
I’m a second year neurobio major and I’m looking for people with similar interests to have some interesting conversations and hang outs!
Curious if I’m the only one so sick of it. I feel so trapped when studying, I’d rather do anything else. I don’t understand how everyone just does it.
So on a scale of 1-10, how much do you love or hate studying. Like- love 7
Or hate 4
When I reached there at 5:30 after my midterm, the ferries wheel wasn’t on (the event is supposed to go on till 7). They were out of most food. The event was way smaller with way fewer people than expected too. Like there’s a free live concert with a somewhat famous artist, and it’s just 40 people there.
Why. Just why.
I understand that there’s some event at sixth so they’re using an alternative bus stop for that. But why have they changed the bus stops at muir?? It’s so confusing. They haven’t even clearly labelled the alternative bus stops. Nor does the website say anything (even though they tell you to refer to the website.) At least they should send out notifications/emails giving us a heads up and clarifying what the alternative bus stops are? They literally send emails for every other stupid thing
You say anything and people are ready to be extremely condescending and intentionally obtuse. I guess part of it is a reddit thing. Maybe the rest of it is a ucsd thing. There’s literally a whole flair for rant. And you’ll label your post as such and still get people telling you to “not complain” and “learn how to deal with life” and “some of us seem to be doing just fine. Suck it up and deal with it bruh. Skill issue.”
Like there was a time where I literally posted about losing a friend due to their poor mental health (partly due to the education system) and I was critiquing the system. And a bunch of people go “lol bruh suck it up. Some of us can manage and the system is just fine. Maybe you should learn to deal with life. You seem to be the only one struggling with something so basic lmao”
I’m often constantly in awe of this phenomenon
Just generally, the structure of college all over the country (and probably in a lot of other countries) sucks!!! What do you mean I have no structure or routine or a fixed schedule and it changes for each day of the week. And there’s no assigned slot for classes. One at 8 am, another at 10, another at 4, another at fucking 8 pm????
Like how pointless is this. The lack of routine combined with the amount of time wasted just going from one class to another and small pockets of time in between which are not enough for me to completely lock in. It’s fucking crazy. It feels like my day flies by so senselessly cause it feels like all I’ve done is go to another class, get back, barely do anything, and then repeat the cycle multiple times a day. As someone who needs to sit down for hours at once to study and get a fair amount done, not only is this extremely inefficient and overwhelming, I literally feel like I’ve done nothing all day. Because I don’t even get to sit and truly absorb and process once experience (learning in class or studying by myself) fully. It’s just start something, break your momentum, and repeat until all your days feel like a whole lot of nothing.
So you’re telling me that most healthy women are in the 25-30% body fat percentage range unless they’re actively working out a lot and controlling diet etc. And yet, the moment you go beyond 30, especially around 35 and above, you are officially in the “too high” body fat category and at a significantly higher risk of health issues?? Why is the margin so small. If you’re slim but don’t work out too much, you’re already around 25-30 and if you just put on a little bit of weight, you’re considered overweight and at higher levels of risk for health problems?
Either while choosing friends, or how you acted/reacted in the friendship. What are some things you look back at and think- ohh that explains a lot.
Cause I’m 19 and I keep befriending immature insensitive people. And this has very much been a pattern for the past 10 years of my life (I know, I’m only 19 and I was a kid. But still)
And I don’t understand how I keep choosing such people. People always suggest that maybe you’re drawn to unstable or insensitive people. But I haven’t noticed this at all. And I really don’t believe that’s the case. But I seem to keep ending up with them somehow. And then I feel like an awful person when things don’t go well or those relationships inevitably end. I think part of it is that I try to find other traumatised people (to feel seen and to be able to talk about this stuff) who can be tumultuous themselves. But that’s just a few of the friends I’ve had. There’s a lot more who weren’t traumatized but were still immature and insensitive. So I do wonder what I keep doing wrong.
Either while choosing friends, or how you acted/reacted in the friendship. What are some things you look back at and think- ohh that explains a lot.
Cause I’m 19 and I keep befriending immature insensitive people. And this has very much been a pattern for the past 10 years of my life (I know, I’m only 19 and I was a kid. But still)
And I don’t understand how I keep choosing such people. I haven’t noticed myself being drawn to instability/ tumultuousness or unempathetic people. But I seem to keep ending up with them somehow. And then I feel like an awful person when things don’t go well or those relationships inevitably end. I think part of it is that I try to find other traumatised people (to feel seen and to be able to talk about this stuff) who can be tumultuous themselves. But that’s just a few of the friends I’ve had. There’s a lot more who weren’t traumatized but were still immature and insensitive. So I do wonder what I keep doing wrong.
I search every corner of the world, only to be rejected and misunderstood again and again and again. And all I can think is how? How? How????
And all I can do is sit with the realisation that I truly have no one and no one would care even if I died from pain and distress.
Seems like most friendships are just hanging out for fun and conversation (but nothing too crazy about true feelings and fears and life). Is that true? Do you guys have friends you talk about that stuff with? How did you find/meet them? Do you believe most people have such friends and is it just a few?