My family and I all have a shared grocery list on our phones. Before I went shopping, I asked the family group chat 3 separate times if there was anything else we needed and each time, they said no.

I came home and unpacked all the food and put all the groceries away. Not 30 minutes later my mom opened the fridge and said, “wait… you didn’t buy any sour cream?” I reminded her that it wasn’t on the shared grocery list. She said I “should have known because we always buy sour cream.” I pointed out to her that I had literally asked 3 times and sour cream wasn’t mentioned any of those times, nor was anything else.

Her response? “I didn’t realize we were out.” I asked how I was supposed to realize she didn’t realize. Apparently, that was the wrong answer.

Girl Court, should I have anticipated the missing sour cream, or is this a self-inflicted grocery crime?

Creamy coconut gochujang shrimp

I have a friend who frequently cancels plans. Usually she cancels the day before, but sometimes she cancels only a few hours beforehand. She always has a legitimate reason, so I never really feel like she’s lying. The problem is that she gets SO upset if I make other plans after she cancels.

Last week, we were supposed to meet for dinner. She canceled 4 hours before saying she felt tired. I understood and made plans with someone else because (hello? Obviously) I still wanted to go out. Later that evening, she called saying she actually felt better and asked if we were still on for dinner. Uhhhhhh… I told her I was already out with someone else so I couldn’t meet her. At first she was okay and just hung up the phone. Later that evening, though, she texted me saying she felt hurt that I had “replaced her so quickly.”

I reminded her that she was the one who canceled. She said that she didn’t expect me to make other plans so soon, and I told her I didn’t expect her to cancel so soon and change her mind in the first place.

Girl Court, who is guilty here?

I’ve been having absolutely abhorrent sleep hygiene lately and have consistently been sleep deprived. Even if I spend the end of my day by myself and doing things I love that serve me, I still somehow end up not falling asleep until 5 am.

Last night I was so tired from the lack of sleep that I went to bed around 2:30 am instead, which was a big accomplishment for me! Imagine my surprise when I woke up and received this notification. How the heck did prioritizing my health/sleep give me a lower score?! Isn’t that what I should be doing, going to sleep earlier??!! I hate this place.

Kinda looks like rhizomorphic mycelium

Hi everyone!

With permission from the mod team, I wanted to share a little parody project I’ve been working on:

r/isthissafetoeatcj

It’s a lighthearted satire subreddit inspired by all of the classic “is this safe to eat?” moments we’ve all come to recognize. If you’ve ever thought, “this belongs in a circlejerk sub,” well… here it is.

Think microscopic mold, suspicious leftovers, tiny dents in cans, foods that may or may not have gained consciousness, and absolutely terrible advice. Original parody posts are highly encouraged! Bonus points for food items, but inedible non-food items are allowed, too.

The goal is to celebrate the wonderfully recognizable food safety discourse that has become part of Reddit. If you’ve ever laughed at a post before scrolling down to read 200 comments debating a yogurt that just expired, you’ll probably fit right in.

Posts are satire.

Comments are worse.

Advice is questionable.

Hope to see some of you there!

Under every sub, it tells you how many visitors and contributors it has had that week. On some subs, I’ve seen it say something like, “3M cat lovers, 84k online right meow.” How can I change mine to something fun and creative? Is it a simple setting or is this a coding thing?