u/anxiousanxiousgirly

I’m 27, I earn $123k per year, spend about $2200 per month on rent + food + hobbies. I max my Roth 401k plus a 6% employer match, I have biweekly recurring investments of $900 (so $1800 per month). Is there anything I’m missing? I’m not committed to retiring super early but it would be nice! I currently have $270k in investments (Robinhood), $30k in high yield savings, and $215k in my Roth 401k.

Edit: okay gathering I should switch to traditional 401k.

Have y’all noticed that more and more guys aren’t marking their politics on dating apps? I tend to swipe left if I don’t see politics indicated cause it’s important to me and I assume that people who don’t state their politics in the Bay Area are republican but I have a hard time believing that THIS many college-educated Bay Area men aren’t liberal!

Do y’all give guys who don’t mark their politics a chance? I’d just rather not waste time on a date with someone who turns out to be conservative

Edit: Thanks for vindicating me, fellow BWT! Also, if any liberal men are stumbling across this, mark your politics! Please!

I’ve just had a realization that I like the way my fridge looks. Which feels like kind of a breakthrough.

I’ve had a rough month: my close work friend got a new job, my ex/fwb has started seeing someone new, my sister has been busy dating someone new and I’ve just felt a little…stuck. I found myself having less joy in little things, and it’s a really painful feeling. I felt like I was watching myself become depressed, without any control over it. This weekend I went on a cruise with my mom and aunt and sister over the weekend. And it didn’t start great. I was glum, I noticed myself being reminded of my ex when musicians on board played Tennessee Whiskey (we’d had a romantic moment in a bar to that song). My mom asked me what was wrong and I couldn’t really explain. My sister was busy texting her guy and I felt jealous and then hated myself for the jealousy.

On Sunday, I decided to finish my book. I was reading the Midnight Library for a book club I’m technically a member of but haven’t attended this calendar year. It starts sad, a main character moving through life feeling that no one cares for her, that she doesn’t have love, that she wants to kill herself. And I can’t say I fully related, but I related more than I was comfortable with. I deeply felt that loneliness, despite my less tragic life. The arc is predictable, yet when she eventually realizes that her life is worth living not because it’s amazing but because of the possibilities, it tapped into a worldview that I had recently lost hold of. I sat on a cushy chair, looking out at the ocean with a blanket on my feet, and I felt emotionally raw, but at peace, for the first time in a while.

My life really isn’t that bad; I’m lucky in a lot of ways, but I’ve never been in love and I’ve never had as many friends as I’d like. That’s always been the case, but I’ve always hung onto a hope, some root confidence that my life would end up good. And I lost that faith this month. But today I looked at my fridge, and I liked it. I liked the collection of magnets, the photo strips, the postcards from my best friend and from my brother, the out-of-season Halloween magnets I’d made during my brief polymer clay phase. I thought, I’d like the person who owns this fridge. So I guess I like me.

I (26f) have no one I can tell this to cause like no one wants the detail but I want to talk about it!! I was dating this guy for a few months and it kind of became clear that we weren’t really long term compatible so we decided to “downgrade” it to fwb (we talked about it like adults, all is well) and honestly the relationship has been so much better since then. Like I like him so much better now that I’m not vetting him as a bf, cause now I’m not stressing and he’s not defensive and it’s just easier.

And I stg it’s like he’s stepped up the sex since then?? Like he’s made me finish from oral for the first time ever and he’s also so respectful and the communication during and after sex is so good. It’s like a safe space where we can both experiment with total trust and comfort and as a late bloomer it’s kinda great. He’s the first sexual partner I’ve ever had who isn’t pushy in any way and actually prioritizes me and even though he’s not my future husband or anything I feel like this is really psychologically good for me! Like I will not be settling for men who make me feel judged or pressured during sex going forward!!