u/archi_0001

First of all, obviously I know that she needs to be diagnosed by a professional and she will go to therapy when it is possible and hopefully get a good diagnosis because we are in a 3rd world country and our mental health support system is not the best but we'll do the best we can.

The thing is I'm suspecting she might have bpd and I want to know how am I supposed to handle that if it is true, both her and I have been suspecting this for a long time and well she has pretty much all the symptoms.

Obviously I don't want her to have it but that diagnosis would explain so much and bring so much closure

Is it possible for people with bpd and their parents to be happy together? What should I do, how should I approach this?

TW: Mentions of death and loss

Me and my girlfriend have been together consistently for 2 years and just went on a break which I initiated because I couldn't wrap my head around how she reacted when my childhood friend, 19M was k*lled

When I told her she automatically said that if he didn't live the type of lifestyle he did (he did get into a lot of fights and he drank and smoked m*rijuana but nothing more honestly, he was actually a really good person) he wouldn't be m*urdered. I completely understand how people can have that point of view especially when they've been sheltered most of their lives like she has been, but at the same time, that was not the moment to bring it up as I was just struck by the news but she wouldn't drop it even though I was openly and obviously distressed

She even kinda told me that I shouldn't be "SO" upset about it cause me and that friend weren't in contact for a long time (we still greeted each other on the street and we were good, I mean we grew up together)

She admitted her mistake multiple times, apologized sincerely and saw how she acted and I believe she is truly sorry and realizes what she did but all that combined by the fact our relationship has been lacking a LOT of things lately was just too much so I said I wanted a break and I think it would be the best for both of us

Now I know it's silly that I ask this but how do I manage to go through this, there won't be anyone to say goodnight or good morning to and I still love her despite everything and I'm gonna miss her terribly even though this was the most harmless decision I could have made it still hurts so much and I don't know where to look for support as I don't have much opportunities to hang out with friends and not much tho keep me busy rn

So, my mother has always been religious but I feel like she got to a concerning point, and I'm not the only one who feels that way, and it's getting worse day by day.

I'm not Christian or religious even though my mother did everything in her power for me to stay orthodox I just couldn't, I have nothing against religion or religious people and I don't think my own believes are necessarily 100% true but they're my beliefs and I mostly keep them to myself. Yesterday I got into a fight with my mother because I said that I don't want to be a part of the church (I told her that a billion times earlier but she still ignored it and continued to force me to do things I didn't want such as fasting or going to monestaries or having a priest preform a ritual in my OWN apartment in order to bless it) and I told her that me and my girlfriend (I'm not a cis man so it's not a straight relationship) are staying in MY apartment for a week and that if my sister (who is also behaving like my mom, and started doing so BECAUSE of my mom) wants to stay the night she CAN and that we won't be awkward and will behave appropriately (like we always do in front of people) and that we will leave the apartment to make space for said sister and her son a day before HE needs to go to see the doctor in Belgrade

She FLIPPED and cut contact with me using words such as "we don't speak the same language and I will wait until you realize some things" and "our God" and basically flipped the whole situation and acted like a murdered someone when in reality no one was harmed

Basically told me she doesn't wanna speak to me unless I convert

She also goes to monestaries multiple times a week, at one point she slept in a monestary for 2 days to prepare for a holiday and she met all of her friends there (to whom she talks on the phone for multiple hours a day at once, everyday) and obviously they mostly talk about the religion or all their conversations somehow revolve around it

Every achievement I make she says is not really mine cause the saints helped me and I don't really get a second of appreciation

I know for a fact she's not in any well know or named cult, she also doesn't follow one specific leader but all this is extremely concerning

So, my mother has always been religious but I feel like she got to a concerning point, and I'm not the only one who feels that way, and it's getting worse day by day.

I'm not Christian or religious even though my mother did everything in her power for me to stay orthodox I just couldn't, I have nothing against religion or religious people and I don't think my own believes are necessarily 100% true but they're my beliefs and I mostly keep them to myself. Yesterday I got into a fight with my mother because I said that I don't want to be a part of the church (I told her that a billion times earlier but she still ignored it and continued to force me to do things I didn't want such as fasting or going to monestaries or having a priest preform a ritual in my OWN apartment in order to bless it) and I told her that me and my girlfriend (I'm not a cis man so it's not a straight relationship) are staying in MY apartment for a week and that if my sister (who is also behaving like my mom, and started doing so BECAUSE of my mom) wants to stay the night she CAN and that we won't be awkward and will behave appropriately (like we always do in front of people) and that we will leave the apartment to make space for said sister and her son a day before HE needs to go to see the doctor in Belgrade

She FLIPPED and cut contact with me using words such as "we don't speak the same language and I will wait until you realize some things" and "our God" and basically flipped the whole situation and acted like a murdered someone when in reality no one was harmed

Basically told me she doesn't wanna speak to me unless I convert

She also goes to monestaries multiple times a week, at one point she slept in a monestary for 2 days to prepare for a holiday and she met all of her friends there (to whom she talks on the phone for multiple hours a day at once, everyday) and obviously they mostly talk about the religion or all their conversations somehow revolve around it

Every achievement I make she says is not really mine cause the saints helped me and I don't really get a second of appreciation

I know for a fact she's not in any well know or named cult, she also doesn't follow one specific leader but all this is extremely concerning

I've been preparing for medical school for about 9 months now and that's going great, it's not TOO much on me, it's far from easy but looking at all the people I also know who are preparing I'm handling it wonderfully. The doubs come cause I don't know if this really is for me, it has always been one of my biggest interests and passions but so has art for example and I'm scared that I won't be fulfilled cause I've never been the type to focus on one thing and I need diversity in my life but I'm scared medicine will swallow my time or energy. I'm going to try to get into either medicine or biology but the odds are I will get into both and I don't know what to choose. I know bio is a huge part of medicine but the difference between the two in terms of studying is huge and I'm afraid of making a mistake. I love people, working with and for people, helping people and all that but I don't want it to consume me as a person.