u/ashlynnk

We aren’t official yet, but it’s been quite a journey. 95 days ago I was in a really rough place, I can’t tell you how many times I door dashed Panera Mac and cheese and ate it in bed. Some days I barely even got out of bed, and forget about the gym.

My husband signed the lease on his apartment on Valentine’s Day, I went to be with friends and he spent the day with his girlfriend. She came to the gym, around my friends, to hang out with my husband that day which made everyone uncomfortable. This was the catalyst to him being fired from his coaching position, though that would take another month or so to happen. He told me he could not afford to move out on his own without the $35,000 we had negotiated for him since he had so much debt. I dragged my feet a little on that, but he finally got his check on April 10th.

Since April, things have genuinely been looking up for me. I’m constantly traveling for work, so that’s helped. Q1 was quite possibly the worst 3 months of my personal life, but professionally I had the most success I’ve ever seen (a miracle, honestly). I’m on target to double what I made last year, I’ve been checking things off my bucket list, taking trips to do things I’ve always wanted to do, but was too expensive with 4 people. I’ve lost 45 pounds, and I’m pumped full of Botox (no shame here 😅). I see my oldest step daughter almost daily because she still gets the school bus off at my house, I see the youngest at her games and events when I’m around and able to attend. She gives me big hugs and tells me she loves me, her dad is there but I don’t acknowledge him at all. The last time I saw him he looked miserable. Arms crossed, gaze forward, stoic while I was laughing and joking with the kids and his first ex.

His girlfriend makes $19.75 an hour (him too, but he does have retirement/disability from the military) and stays at his apartment when the girls aren’t there. They know her, but I’m not clear on the nature of that relationship since I don’t ask. They’ve told their mom they don’t understand why they’re together, and my husband has given his girlfriend the nickname “Dillan the Villain” and calls her that in front of the girls. Honestly, that upset me more than I care to admit. I’m glad they can make a joke about imploding everyone’s lives, including the children. At the end of the day, he’s only hurting how the girls perceive her too since he literally pulled the rug out from under them as well. He’s riddled with debt and I’m waiting for the money I gave him to run out.

Overall, I’m ok. I constantly get compliments about how great I look, that I’m glowing, that I look younger (probably the Botox!). He was also always striving for the greenest grass in the neighborhood, so I made it my mission to make sure I accomplished that… and I have! By myself, and he gets to see it when he picks up his daughter from my house. I’m toying with the idea of a divorce party at our wedding venue for fun…

Ultimately, I kept the house, the dogs, the friends, the gym, my dignity and success… I don’t know if he’s feeling as good as I am in this moment, but I feel like a weights been lifted from my shoulders. I do have my moments, but they’re fleeting. Just know there’s hope on the other side.

We aren’t official yet, but it’s been quite a journey. 95 days ago I was in a really rough place, I can’t tell you how many times I door dashed Panera Mac and cheese and ate it in bed. Some days I barely even got out of bed, and forget about the gym.

My husband signed the lease on his apartment on Valentine’s Day, I went to be with friends and he spent the day with his girlfriend. She came to the gym, around my friends, to hang out with my husband that day which made everyone uncomfortable. This was the catalyst to him being fired from his coaching position, though that would take another month or so to happen. He told me he could not afford to move out on his own without the $35,000 we had negotiated for him since he had so much debt. I dragged my feet a little on that, but he finally got his check on April 10th.

Since April, things have genuinely been looking up for me. I’m constantly traveling for work, so that’s helped. Q1 was quite possibly the worst 3 months of my personal life, but professionally I had the most success I’ve ever seen (a miracle, honestly). I’m on target to double what I made last year, I’ve been checking things off my bucket list, taking trips to do things I’ve always wanted to do, but was too expensive with 4 people. I’ve lost 45 pounds, and I’m pumped full of Botox (no shame here 😅). I see my oldest step daughter almost daily because she still gets the school bus off at my house, I see the youngest at her games and events when I’m around and able to attend. She gives me big hugs and tells me she loves me, her dad is there but I don’t acknowledge him at all. The last time I saw him he looked miserable. Arms crossed, gaze forward, stoic while I was laughing and joking with the kids and his first ex.

His girlfriend makes $19.75 an hour (him too, but he does have retirement/disability from the military) and stays at his apartment when the girls aren’t there. They know her, but I’m not clear on the nature of that relationship since I don’t ask. They’ve told their mom they don’t understand why they’re together, and my husband has given his girlfriend the nickname “Dillan the Villain” and calls her that in front of the girls. Honestly, that upset me more than I care to admit. I’m glad they can make a joke about imploding everyone’s lives, including the children. At the end of the day, he’s only hurting how the girls perceive her too since he literally pulled the rug out from under them as well. He’s riddled with debt and I’m waiting for the money I gave him to run out.

Overall, I’m ok. I constantly get compliments about how great I look, that I’m glowing, that I look younger (probably the Botox!). He was also always striving for the greenest grass in the neighborhood, so I made it my mission to make sure I accomplished that… and I have! By myself, and he gets to see it when he picks up his daughter from my house. I’m toying with the idea of a divorce party at our wedding venue for fun…

Ultimately, I kept the house, the dogs, the friends, the gym, my dignity and success… I don’t know if he’s feeling as good as I am in this moment, but I feel like a weights been lifted from my shoulders. I do have my moments, but they’re fleeting. Just know there’s hope on the other side.

We aren’t official yet, but it’s been quite a journey. 95 days ago I was in a really rough place, I can’t tell you how many times I door dashed Panera Mac and cheese and ate it in bed. Some days I barely even got out of bed, and forget about the gym.

My husband signed the lease on his apartment on Valentine’s Day, I went to be with friends and he spent the day with his girlfriend. She came to the gym, around my friends, to hang out with my husband that day which made everyone uncomfortable. This was the catalyst to him being fired from his coaching position, though that would take another month or so to happen. He told me he could not afford to move out on his own without the $35,000 we had negotiated for him since he had so much debt. I dragged my feet a little on that, but he finally got his check on April 10th.

Since April, things have genuinely been looking up for me. I’m constantly traveling for work, so that’s helped. Q1 was quite possibly the worst 3 months of my personal life, but professionally I had the most success I’ve ever seen (a miracle, honestly). I’m on target to double what I made last year, I’ve been checking things off my bucket list, taking trips to do things I’ve always wanted to do, but was too expensive with 4 people. I’ve lost 45 pounds, and I’m pumped full of Botox (no shame here 😅). I see my oldest step daughter almost daily because she still gets the school bus off at my house, I see the youngest at her games and events when I’m around and able to attend. She gives me big hugs and tells me she loves me, her dad is there but I don’t acknowledge him at all. The last time I saw him he looked miserable. Arms crossed, gaze forward, stoic while I was laughing and joking with the kids and his first ex.

His girlfriend makes $19.75 an hour (him too, but he does have retirement/disability from the military) and stays at his apartment when the girls aren’t there. They know her, but I’m not clear on the nature of that relationship since I don’t ask. They’ve told their mom they don’t understand why they’re together, and my husband has given his girlfriend the nickname “Dillan the Villain” and calls her that in front of the girls. Honestly, that upset me more than I care to admit. I’m glad they can make a joke about imploding everyone’s lives, including the children. At the end of the day, he’s only hurting how the girls perceive her too since he literally pulled the rug out from under them as well. He’s riddled with debt and I’m waiting for the money I gave him to run out.

Overall, I’m ok. I constantly get compliments about how great I look, that I’m glowing, that I look younger (probably the Botox!). He was also always striving for the greenest grass in the neighborhood, so I made it my mission to make sure I accomplished that… and I have! By myself, and he gets to see it when he picks up his daughter from my house. I’m toying with the idea of a divorce party at our wedding venue for fun…

Ultimately, I kept the house, the dogs, the friends, the gym, my dignity and success… I don’t know if he’s feeling as good as I am in this moment, but I feel like a weights been lifted from my shoulders. I do have my moments, but they’re fleeting. Just know there’s hope on the other side.