u/aspiring_astro

do we have orientation online or in person? for bba mba

Brief background:
Admitted to a grad program at Ivy League university with research focus. I previously completed my undergraduate degree in the US, returned to India after graduation, and worked at a research institute in India before applying for grad school again.
Visa interview was June 3.

Questions asked:

1. Which university?
   i’m going to *university name*
2. Which major?
   i’m going to 2 years masters program in *major*
3. What universities did you apply to?
   i applied to a combination of phd and masters programs and named them
4. Have you been to the U.S. before?
   yes did undergrad
5. Where did you study in the U.S.?
   i studied at *state school*
6. How are you funding your education?
   i’m funding my education through a combination of sanctioned education loan and parents will pay the rest
   (i had made my school edit my i20 wherr loan was disbursed over two years rather than showing all in one and make it look like a huge amount idk if it made any difference but i did it based on my guts)
7. Are all your social media accounts public? yes

After that, I was given a 221(g). They kept my passport and mentioned they would check my online presence.

Status changed to approved same day and waiting for issuance.

FYI i come from a very very conservative family which doesn’t allow dating and believe in arranged marriage

I need honest outside perspective because I genuinely feel emotionally trapped and can’t tell what’s normal anymore.
Also my ex partner’s parents are acquaintances with mine as we went to same high school and college.

I was in a long-term on-and-off relationship that had been deteriorating for a very long time. For over a year, I felt emotionally neglected, lonely, disconnected, and exhausted trying to hold things together. There were constant cycles of distance, broken promises, emotional inconsistency, arguments, and me feeling like I was the only one trying to keep the relationship alive. I never cheated not interacted with men while in relationships he always had girls on snap but no one he actually texted. I was a very academic and career oriented person focused bc I thought I found my love and don’t need anything more whereas he wanted to live his college life in aspects of partying. As a person he was nice and calm but maybe that was something he portrayed as after 1.5 year if being in relationship I wanted to get away from him but couldnt and still can’t.

I repeatedly communicated that I was unhappy and emotionally checked out long before things officially “ended.” I even wrote long messages explaining how abandoned and drained I felt and how I no longer believed the relationship was healthy for me. From my perspective, the relationship had already emotionally ended long before I ever spoke to anyone else.

Months later, I briefly went out with another person. My ex considers this cheating and says I betrayed him. I understand why he feels hurt, but from my perspective we had already been emotionally broken up for a long time and I had already communicated multiple times that I didn’t want the relationship anymore.

The issue is that now I feel like I’m not allowed to leave. Every single conversation gets redirected back to that situation (where i went out 2 days and get accused of sleeping w the person fyi i’ve never slept w anyone not even my ex long term partner bc i believe in doing it after marriage) no matter what the present issue is. I get repeatedly insulted, accused of lying/cheating, called names, and told I deserve consequences for what happened. Whenever I try to distance myself, he threatens to involve family or expose personal matters. Then if I panic and try to calm things down or “fix things,” the cycle repeats again.

What confuses me most is that he says he wants to fix things and want to get together but when angry says he doesn’t want to be with me anymore, but also keeps emotionally pulling me back into relationship conversations while simultaneously saying hurtful things and pushing me away. I no longer even know if this is about love, unresolved hurt, control, punishment, or all of them combined. I do not want to be with him at all but if I say it he says I should face consequences for going it w a person and making him emotionally feel bad and go through sadness and if I don’t comply about fixing things he has to make sure i get avenged one way or the other. I have thought about telling my mom but I coudnt I would rather just be alone and cry and deal with it than go to family.

At this point I feel anxious almost every day. I feel emotionally cornered, guilty, exhausted, and honestly scared of saying the wrong thing because every interaction feels like it can escalate. I don’t hate him, but I also don’t feel emotionally safe anymore. I just want to get out and wis best for him but he took me going out as a betrayal and now my characteristic is being a cheater.

I got into a very good university for grad school top 20 in the world but he thinks now i’m interested in talking with men their whereas i’m working hard and studying to be prepared for academics there and being a genuine hardworking student.

I wish I had parents I could reach out to and being the eldest daughter I do not have cousins or siblings elder to me to share it with only parents. My friends asked me to tell my parents but they dont understand how strict it is in my household.

I guess I just want honest perspective:
Does this sound like something that can realistically be repaired, or has this become an unhealthy guilt-and-punishment dynamic that I need to fully step away from?

FYI i come from a very very conservative family which doesn’t allow dating and believe in arranged marriage

I need honest outside perspective because I genuinely feel emotionally trapped and can’t tell what’s normal anymore.
Also my ex partner’s parents are acquaintances with mine as we went to same high school and college.

I was in a long-term on-and-off relationship that had been deteriorating for a very long time. For over a year, I felt emotionally neglected, lonely, disconnected, and exhausted trying to hold things together. There were constant cycles of distance, broken promises, emotional inconsistency, arguments, and me feeling like I was the only one trying to keep the relationship alive. I never cheated not interacted with men while in relationships he always had girls on snap but no one he actually texted. I was a very academic and career oriented person focused bc I thought I found my love and don’t need anything more whereas he wanted to live his college life in aspects of partying. As a person he was nice and calm but maybe that was something he portrayed as after 1.5 year if being in relationship I wanted to get away from him but couldnt and still can’t.

I repeatedly communicated that I was unhappy and emotionally checked out long before things officially “ended.” I even wrote long messages explaining how abandoned and drained I felt and how I no longer believed the relationship was healthy for me. From my perspective, the relationship had already emotionally ended long before I ever spoke to anyone else.

Months later, I briefly went out with another person. My ex considers this cheating and says I betrayed him. I understand why he feels hurt, but from my perspective we had already been emotionally broken up for a long time and I had already communicated multiple times that I didn’t want the relationship anymore.

The issue is that now I feel like I’m not allowed to leave. Every single conversation gets redirected back to that situation (where i went out 2 days and get accused of sleeping w the person fyi i’ve never slept w anyone not even my ex long term partner bc i believe in doing it after marriage) no matter what the present issue is. I get repeatedly insulted, accused of lying/cheating, called names, and told I deserve consequences for what happened. Whenever I try to distance myself, he threatens to involve family or expose personal matters. Then if I panic and try to calm things down or “fix things,” the cycle repeats again.

What confuses me most is that he says he wants to fix things and want to get together but when angry says he doesn’t want to be with me anymore, but also keeps emotionally pulling me back into relationship conversations while simultaneously saying hurtful things and pushing me away. I no longer even know if this is about love, unresolved hurt, control, punishment, or all of them combined. I do not want to be with him at all but if I say it he says I should face consequences for going it w a person and making him emotionally feel bad and go through sadness and if I don’t comply about fixing things he has to make sure i get avenged one way or the other. I have thought about telling my mom but I coudnt I would rather just be alone and cry and deal with it than go to family.

At this point I feel anxious almost every day. I feel emotionally cornered, guilty, exhausted, and honestly scared of saying the wrong thing because every interaction feels like it can escalate. I don’t hate him, but I also don’t feel emotionally safe anymore. I just want to get out and wis best for him but he took me going out as a betrayal and now my characteristic is being a cheater.

I got into a very good university for grad school top 20 in the world but he thinks now i’m interested in talking with men their whereas i’m working hard and studying to be prepared for academics there and being a genuine hardworking student.

I wish I had parents I could reach out to and being the eldest daughter I do not have cousins or siblings elder to me to share it with only parents. My friends asked me to tell my parents but they dont understand how strict it is in my household.

I guess I just want honest perspective:
Does this sound like something that can realistically be repaired, or has this become an unhealthy guilt-and-punishment dynamic that I need to fully step away from?

Hi so I am from stem background and had applied for 3 phd (r2 unis) and 3 masters (ivies and state unis (state unis are basically just useless with my degree as they aim more towards standard jobs than research oriented ones))

i got accepted into 1 ivy pretty good reputation for my major, rejected from state unis and rejected from all phd unis (stem funding is low so the 2 professors indirectly told me because i’m an international student they had to prefer someone from the usa for the position) and got an offer for masters instead of phd.

would it be an issue during my interview in case they ask?

i’m going to the ivy but i’m scared to answer questions like “what other unis i applied to” and “which ones i got accepted at”

Hi! Is there anyone who did their undergrad in US and then applied for masters and are going to interview or have already interviewed for masters visa.

I am in the same boat and haven’t heard anyone going through the same. I also took a gap year to work in my home country because eventually I would want to move back.

country- india

Hi! Is there anyone who did their undergrad in US and then applied for masters and are going to interview or have already interviewed for masters visa.

I am in the same boat and haven’t heard anyone going through the same. I also took a gap year to work in my home country because eventually I would want to move back.