u/atlaspsych21

im wondering if anyone else feels this and how you deal with it.

Basically, when my husband is upset or depressed, i feel dysregulated, unsure, anxious, and personally unsteady in myself and in my perception of our relationship. I become really intent on helping him feel better, but I know that part of the reason why I do that is to alleviate my own anxiety, which is not good and can lead to me becoming angry at him for not feeling better. I really don’t like that about myself and want to change it. but I feel like my regulation techniques and reframing are only partially helpful, probably because I am spending a lot of time mentally beating myself up for having a flaw. I wish I could stop my severe relationship anxiety while also just altruistically helping him feel better. I wish I didn’t get so upset when he is feeling upset. if y’all have similar experience, what helps?

im wondering if anyone else feels this and how you deal with it.

Basically, when my husband is upset or depressed, i feel dysregulated, unsure, anxious, and personally unsteady in myself and in my perception of our relationship. I become really intent on helping him feel better, but I know that part of the reason why I do that is to alleviate my own anxiety, which is not good and can lead to me becoming angry at him for not feeling better. I really don’t like that about myself and want to change it. but I feel like my regulation techniques and reframing are only partially helpful, probably because I am spending a lot of time mentally beating myself up for having a flaw. I wish I could stop my severe relationship anxiety while also just altruistically helping him feel better. I wish I didn’t get so upset when he is feeling upset. if y’all have similar experience, what helps?

hi everyone.

when moving here for a job in the medical district, my husband and I chose to rent a more expensive place in the medical district rather than a less expensive place in the Davis ranch area due to the drive time estimations (Google Maps and most of yall online were saying that it would be an hr at least to get into town from Davis ranch). However, since moving here, the drive time between the medical district and the neighborhood in Davis Ranch we were looking at has been, at the most, about half an hour, even during peak rush hours.

I’m confused about the drastic change. Is is momentary, due to the summer or something? Will things revert back to the estimations I was getting in April? It takes me 14-17 mins to get to work now — adding a few more mins doesn’t seem bad, especially if we are able to save $500 living in a larger space.

Is this change for real? Or is it just momentary, depending on other factors?

hi everyone.

I was recently diagnosed with BPD without it being discussed beforehand with my psychiatrist & without explanation. her diagnosis directly disagrees with my previous psychologist’s psych evaluation and diagnosis ( OCPD with BPD traits). I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m frustrated because I think she’s wrong, I’m frustrated because she didn’t talk to me about it, and I’m frustrated that I can’t talk to her about it (she diagnosed me in literally her termination note). I’ve been ruminating over the “right way” to respond and having a hard time sorting out my feelings.

it is definitely true that there is a black hole where my identity/sense of self should be. so much of what I do revolves around how to maintain safety and equilibrium in the current moment. Ive realized many times that I don’t know my likes and dislikes about certain things, because I’m just focused on what “works” in the moment and will create the least opposition and scrutiny. when people do things I disagree with, I rarely challenge them, and will even momentarily change my beliefs. this results in me not really knowing who I am, and that hurts my relationships. I’m wondering if anyone with OCPD also experiences identity problems, and how you handle them.

hey yall! i’ve been diagnosed with ocpd and bpd traits for awhile (I put bpd in my flair bc it was already long and I didn’t want to type out “bpd traits”). my psychologist didn’t diagnose me w/ full bpd because she thought my symptoms extended from my ocpd rather than from true bpd. I‘ve gone back and forth on whether or not I have it, and think I definitely don’t meet criteria now (I’m a mental health professional and have extensive knowledge about personality disorders). well, I just found out that my psychiatrist (who I‘ve seen every 2-3 months for about 10 months) added bpd to my official diagnosis list w/o having a conversation with me. i am pretty annoyed, to be honest. I understand that therapeutically, nothing is going to change. But I am worried about extra stigma. I am also just confused about what she’s observed that she feels makes me qualify for the diagnosis. I’d love to hear from those of you with BPD & ocpd about your personal experiences i guess for solidarity and observation, I guess? And I think this is a bit of a rant too.

So I’m doing this study. super complex, not much research on the topic in the field, multiple hypotheses.

nearly every one was proven incorrect. I feel that the results are in total opposition to the literature we have. we went back and checked all analyses. they were correctly conducted. there’s something to be said about our moral injury scale sucking, which I’m placing a lot of hope in, but I have serious concerns about justifying the results and of this is even publishable anymore. plus, I just feel stupid and worried that myself and my colleague drastically misunderstood the literature and concepts. I’m struggling with this and looking for insight from more seasoned researchers on how to process the disappointment and embarrassment.